[Esc] reality

new year, new me?

Ha, I tricked you into clicking on this post with this cliché four word sentence that you would see buzzing around in about two months time. But I just really wanted to share some interesting observations since the start of the Pagan new year. 

I don't know about anyone else (feedback wanted) but 2018-11-05 22:45:33 +0000 UTC View Post

⛥November Download⛥

No need to worry, you didn't miss the poll. I decided to skip it because I only managed to make two videos in October so there isn't much of a choice. Instead, I want to start off the month by giving you 2/2 mp3 downloads. Hopefully this month goes better. I definitely got off on the right foot today which is a lovely omen for t...

🍰 My Favorite Treats In Germany 🍰

I'm proud to present this delicious video that's nothing short of food porn. 

Do not take a shot for everytime I say something snobbish. 

Thank you for letting me entertain you by eating my favorite snacks for a month. I hope you enjoy watching this show and tell food porn mashup of awesome stuff and I h...

🎃 German Halloween Candy 🎃

Oh yes I did. 

I hope you like this 20 minute video all about Halloween in Germany and the candy we give out. What kind of special Halloween stuff do you have where you're from? Do you celebrate at all? We are stoked af for Halloween and the Livechat tomorrow and the upcoming dark videos mixed with super cozy ones. At thi...

Halloween Livechat

Thank you guys for taking the time to hang out! I'm glad you enjoyed the mix of spooks and triggers. Looking forward to the November Livechat!

will I ever be enough?

I hope you like this autumnal photo of our town's very own castle. 

One of the rarer shoots that I went on in broad daylight. History lives on and even though we may wish to return to simpler times, thinking that surely, people must have been less douchy back then (at least there were less of...

⛥October Q&A⛥

Good morning. I usually wait until way at the end of the month to answer your questions, but I'm at this point in my cycle where all I want to do is sleep and anything that isn't candy has become virtually indigestible to me. So this is probably the most productive thing I can do in my 6 hour wake period. Let's roll out your awe...

Healing and Immunization

Hey there. Based on the crystals you chose (second voted from last year cause I made a mistake) I created a healing video with a specific purpose. It worked out nicely because heliotrope (bloodstone) and amber have similar and complementary attributes. Along with obsidian (the one I forgot to read) I wanted to give you a gentle ...

Outtakes - SHIKI - Lucy

Enjoy. You'll probably have to pause to read some of the text. It's worth it. XD

SHIKI - Lucy

This is Lucy's gut-wrenching story about how she became a Shiki. Just one fate out of many. Immeasurable amounts of suffering have created the most gentle-mannered undead soul. Are Shiki more like us than we thought? All this is happening in a city where Shiki have already taken foothold. Lucy sings at a classy-ish club for a li...

eyes in a still lake

The most highly flattering picture of me. 

Insomnia again today
I say I try to live my life
As fully as I can anyway
But has my avoidance led me astray?

Out of everything
That my brain tells me I should do
Stop wasting my life away
But what does it mean to be alive
And how does it fee...

life and work update

An amusing (hopefully) insight into this side.

I have a lot to do but I feel like writing this post instead. Writing calms me (unless I'm being graded then it's a fucking nightmare.) I'm hoping to have a quiet morning, regaining my strength after the late night has left me quite fatigued. 

I filmed late i...

⛥October Download⛥

You voted and you're gonna get what you voted for! That's right, I didn't fuck up horribly for a change. Enjoy your HQ mp3 meditations!

videos take longer cause I'm ugly and unphotogenic

A new path.

I seem to be posting more video updates than actual videos. Sorry about that. 

I'm working on a new look for myself personally aswell as for the new video. The camera thinks I look like shit and I cry every time. It thinks everything else is very pretty though. I'm trying so hard to change so we can make...

Ally's Ideal Treat Day GONE WRONG

I did my best to show you how a treat day for me would look. I low key wish I could show you something more fun but I got the 3 pillars right at least: Massages, coffee, no cooking. I regret that I couldn't show you any tasty German cakes but I might make a separate video for it some time. I had to make some decisions due to lac...

Autumn Stillness Guided Meditation

So this monster of a video is finally done. It's not exactly a monster, but sticking with the Halloween theme... It's really a soothing and relaxing guided meditation that's autumn themed. Courtesy of my insomnia. 

The idea behind this meditation is to ease you into the feeling of detachment. I personally get stressed out...

⛥September LiveChat⛥

Thank you for tuning in! It was so much fun

⛥September Q&A⛥

Thank you for posting your questions. I've been having a bit of a nothing-goes-right-everything-fails-miserably-life-wants-me-to-give-up-on-it episode this past week so I'm comfort eating with some fresh homemade cookies and -- *takes a big frustrated gulp* -- a second cup of coffee. 

2018-09-28 23:10:41 +0000 UTC View Post

to be lovable

Lately I've been struggling with being compared to other artists. This really triggers my insecurities and I'm pretty heartbroken about it. I'm sure it hasn't escaped you how much work and time and energy I put into all my videos (and how much sweat and tears) ... so nothing puts a damper on my enthusiasm quite lik...

how crystal healing videos came to be

This picture is from a recent treat day ... a failed one. "Treat days can fail?" - Why, yes, turns out they can. Idk guys, I had good intentions. But everything I did kinda went sidedways. It wasn't meant to be. I was forced out of my home by my neighbors' god-awful noisy brats that Satan himself rejected, went to my ha...

Cyberpunk Roleplay // Laser Tattoo Application

I'm as nervous as I am happy to finally publish this long requested video. I hope you enjoy this extra long journey into a world of tech and blue-cyan lights. Do let me know if everything is ok with the video because I'm not sure if the audio is out of synch at times or if it's just lagging for me because I'm also rendering at t...