"your suffering is not despair, but desire. desire to meet the divine within you.
you are alive and well dear one, under the chaos.
you are alive and in love with your beating heart.
when suffering comes, know that it is your own self love that you are lonely for.
let yourself be wise to the needs ...
i’ve been getting in the river every single day for the month of june. i plan on getting in every day for the entire summer. my two daily rituals are meditating and getting in the water. every day. and every fucking day is the most glorious day to be alive. so thankful.
these are all photos from today
2022-06-28 02:46:37 +0000 UTC View Post
photos from may 8th, words from a while ago.
it’s wild to see the places i can come from and go to within just a few months.
green hues
pink blush.
green stems
pink petals.
from green in the cheeks
to pink in the collarbones.
from living, thinking, breath...
2022-06-17 15:08:33 +0000 UTC View Post
florence and the machines new album “dance fever” is the most i’ve related to an album in a long time. but maybe that’s just because i’ve been getting back into music in a way i was 7 years ago. but so many of the songs are about ‘dancing with anxiety’ as she would say. which i think is exactly why it’s so rel...
2022-05-28 18:56:28 +0000 UTC View Post
dancing alone
i’m reminded of myself
my freedom
my lust
and my anguish.
dancing alone
i am reminded of movement and how i love it all. them all. us all. every part of existence.
dancing alone
i am reminded to look at myself, stare her in the mirror, allow...
2022-05-26 01:10:24 +0000 UTC View Post
5/18/2022
constantly torn.
between myself
and between ourself.
between constant movement and growth of my own being and aliveness
and our constant shifting and learning and growth of our relationship.
i want to be out of the house,
i want to...
2022-05-20 03:20:47 +0000 UTC View Post
it’s mother’s day and i am insanely sad. i just woke up and am so tired from working a double yesterday and today i’ll go into work and won’t see nalcoah today. but let’s feel it right? let’s let the tears come, let’s let the throat choke. let’s feel sunk into the mattress.
iam so sad and let...
2022-05-08 11:17:07 +0000 UTC View Post
so giddy about how this roll of expired film looks. i especially love the way my nipple piercing looks in the silhouette in the second photo 🤍
2022-04-20 01:29:57 +0000 UTC View Post
sitting in blue lit bubbles from the blue of the sky filling the room before the sunlight comes in.
faded fogged windows.
soft blue skin.
breasts that droop down my ribs and graze the water.
towels that swoosh and swirl into each other.
fresh new buds almost touching the window.
i get out. ...
2022-04-16 11:05:46 +0000 UTC View Post
i decide.
i create it.
i decide.
i am creating my dream life.
slowly… but slowly!
and that dream life is basically just community,
friendships,
to be with people.
to sit IN life with them.
it’s taking time,
years.
and really,
really what it took, what...
2022-04-15 10:04:04 +0000 UTC View Post
the more i meditate the more i become aware of just how sacred our breath is. the more i am called into the moment with my breath, the more i realize that’s all there really is. the more i am able to become aware of my breath, the more i realize how much life is living inside me. how simple and delicate that life is. life i...
2022-04-13 13:43:39 +0000 UTC View Post
I’ve been spending a lot of my days recently thinking about myself when I was 4 and 5 and 6.
My only memories of that time seem to be either beautiful; immersed in nature - mud, water, tall grasses, and immersed in imagination.
Or, immersed in anxiety, specifically existential anxiety. I went to a christian ...
know me!
know me!
i want to scream into the abyss,
i scream into my mind!
i scream for them all to hear.
i feel my body, the walls of me,
and i know i am not just my body,
but i am everywhere,
everything.
when i think and i wonder if someone can hear me,
it’s becau...
2022-04-10 12:08:00 +0000 UTC View Post
meditate,
masturbate.
meditate,
masturbate.
meditate….
or masturbate?
how about both?
masturbating helps me come into my body,
and meditating helps me come into my body.
and when i join them together
(which often it is so hard to do that, because my brain still con...
2022-04-09 09:52:16 +0000 UTC View Post
laying in bed
woke up at 4,
now it’s 5:30.
stuffy nose,
the most content i’ve ever been.
laying in bed
went to sleep at 8:30
woke up to write
to process.
where i am,
who i am.
i am learning,
i am healing.
i feel more loved than i have ever felt<...
2022-04-01 02:50:08 +0000 UTC View Post
not sure.
but compassion, empathy and love.
not sure.
but being willing, present and open.
not sure.
but here, with myself.
here intertwined with nalcoah.
always wishing there was a way to photograph how our bodies sleep and rest together.
wishing there was a way to capture her ...
2022-03-25 00:38:35 +0000 UTC View Post
i am so tired.
i don’t know if i can do this.
i don’t know if i want to.
i look back on the agony i was in the last few days of january, where i wrote
“…i would do anything. i would… and never complain about sexism again if i could have him back…”
and god does that make me feel sill...
2022-03-23 22:01:37 +0000 UTC View Post
