Genevieve King

Can Relationship Anarchy ever coexist with Hierarchy? (and is it even a Binary?)

A question was prompted to me 2 weeks ago, and it's one that I get somewhat often: in practice, is there ever a time when anarchistic and hierarchical approaches can happily coexist? 

There's a lot to consider here.

When it comes to my videos about broader theory, as a non-academic, I think they're at their b...

"Bandits" shows how a triad can form organically

Today, I'm continuing my media analysis series with a look at Bandits (2001). This surreal-romance-heist with Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton and Cate Blanchett, gives a solid example of how a triad can organically form. It was a lot of fun to break down, so let's jump in! Spoilers ahead.

Timecode:

2024-01-21 10:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post

Exercise: “What if it feels like I'm always putting in more effort?”

We’ve likely all been in dynamics where it felt like one person was reaching out more often, picking dates / times / activities more often, was always the one to start hard talks, etc. Sometimes, this is mutually agreed upon. But when it’s non-negotiated, it can be frustrating or exhausting. If you relate, and feel ready ...

LIVE Chat: On Equal power vs. Equal time, Being the "More Available" Partner, and Anti-hierarchy in 24/7 Kink Dynamics

Thanks to all who came out for the first Live chat of 2024! The recording is here, with approximate timecode markers below. I hope they can be helpful.

Timecode:

• 00.00 Intro
• 02.16 What are your goals for 2024? Did you achieve what you wanted in 2023?
• 09.15 Offering reflections...
  2024-01-08 17:46:25 +0000 UTC View Post

"I Love You, Man" is high key a polyam rom-com

Happy new year!

Some exciting news. I'm kicking off a new series of video essays about non-monogamy in film and tv (a few of which I covered years ago in written Patreon reviews, but I'll retire those versions as I go). Polyam media analysis will gradually become a big focus of my work. We need examples, and I can only ...

When a conflict is in public, what's the role of the audience?

Merry Christmas Eve, if you celebrate! 

Since so many people are spending time in large groups this time of year, especially with extended family (who may or may not be easy to be around), the topic of conflict is on the mind — especially conflict that plays out in front of other people.

Today, I aim to exp...

A few concerning patterns... Part Two

Today is part two of some common patterns that I’ve seen erode trust between people, in polyamory or otherwise. It's anecdote-driven, as always, so let me know if you have a different experience or perspective. Any of these could also be their own video, but maybe this brief overview can be of service to you. 🙏

2023-12-17 15:45:42 +0000 UTC View Post

A few concerning patterns... Part One

Today is a quick overview of some common patterns that I’ve seen erode trust between people. Any of these topics could be their own video, so let me know which you might want me to expand upon. But I do think there's also value in consolidating lists to discuss briefly in one place.

This will be part one of two, with...

A (Non-exhaustive) Nonmonogamy Book List

PLEASE NOTE : I've not had the chance to read all of these books, so their inclusion is not necessarily an endorsement. Since helpfulness is subjective, I won't be doing any rankings or tier lists. I'll put these in alphabetical order, with a link to each book's GoodReads page, so you can learn more.

-<...

"Why don't we share that?"

What happens when there are parts of someone we love, sides to them, that we don't share together? Interests, desires, experiences, identity... We can't always be the one to explore it with them. It can ache but also be beautiful to watch them do that with other people. 

Mononormativity says romantic love is a merg...

Can dating be a bit less... disappointing?

Recent conversations with patrons and clients have focused a lot on the exhaustion of finding people. There will be this desire for new connections, for wanting certain role(s) to be filled in life, but also frustration about trying to make that happen.

There are very real and valid obstacles that stand in our way of co...

Things to consider when helping a partner support someone else

I was 17 and watching my caregiver get ready for a date, when her phone rang. Her boyfriend had to cancel. His friend was in crisis and really needed help that night. She hung up, put her hand on her chest, and said, “I love that ...

LIVE CHAT: On Shared Spaces, Possessive Impulses and Going No Contact

Thanks to all the folks who came to hang out in the Live chat yesterday. The recording is here, with approximate timecode markers below. I hope they can be helpful! 

Timecode:

• 00.00 How to keep going when you feel exhausted and overwhelmed?
• 05.30 Tips to challenge couples privi...
  2023-10-30 17:23:55 +0000 UTC View Post

Resource: The Critical Polyamorist

Good morning,

I realized that I've not yet shared anything from Dr. Kim Tallbear here, so want to change that.  She writes about anti colonial relating, non-monogamy and indigenous liberation. You can follow Dr. Tallbear on Substack for her c...

Disliking mutual connections - Part Two

Good morning,

Today, I'm offering part two about how / when / if I share my dislike of mutual connections with my friends, family or community members. This is a sampling of the types of interactions I encounter, full of their own context. Maybe that will be of service to you.

Content warning for ...

Disliking mutual connections - Part One

Good morning!

I hope you're having a lovely weekend. By Patron request, I'm following up to last week's story with more info on how I share about my dislike of mutual friends (or extended family, or metamours, etc).

I offer a few anecdotes today, and will have more examples ready for you next week. Since this can ...

Case Study: He gave me the creeps... (Spotting a subtle boundary pusher)

Good morning!

I hope you're having a lovely day and a lovely weekend. Today, I'm offering a case study on subtle boundary pushing. Basically, I met a person in my mutual friend circles who seemed nice, but then gradually gave me the creeps, and I was the only one who saw it. 

Most of us are pretty good at spo...

Is there always a middle ground?

Good morning!

I hope you're having a lovely Sunday. Today, compromise is on the mind. What happens when the thing we want seems at odds with our friend, partner or family member? Is there always a middle ground? 

I'll offer a few anecdotes from my own life, sharing the ins and outs of some recent compromises ...

What if you think they're lying?

I speak with a lot of people who, for some reason or another, think they’re being lied to. What do we do when we’ve got a sneaking suspicion, but don’t know how / if to bring it up?

Today, I’ll offer some questions that I ask myself in this situation. It won’t be comprehensive, and you’ll know better than me...

LIVE CHAT: On Burnout, Subtle Coercion, and Financial Power in Polycules

Here's the video and transcript from yesterday's Live Chat! The next one will be some time mid winter, I hope to see you there again. 

And just a reminder that switching to Patreon Video took away the option of chapter markers (for now), but I'll include the timecode here of the various questions, so hopefully you ...

Small steps, Big changes, Part 5: Brainstorm, Trial and Error

Good morning! ☀️

Some quick housekeeping things:

Next Patron-only Live chat: The next one will be Sunday, September 10 at 12PM PDT / 3PM EDT / 9PM Berlin CEST. The link will go out that morning, and any patron at any tier can show up to ask me whatever you want.

...