PATREON EXCLUSIVE: When Should A High Quality Man Fight?

Not to mention expensive legally.

Yeah, I am a fighter. I don't think this was a good reason to fight. You put it well, fighting is very expensive in terms of health. In my mind the only moral reason to attack someone is to protect yourself and other people, and there is almost always another option. You don't need to beat someone up because they pour too much alcohol. Fighting should never be about pride and ego.

I totally agree with you, strong and high quality people know how to resist temptation and maintain control over themselves. This is the case with things like NoFap, being a faithful partner, and committing to doing hard things for the sake of what you believe (a good example of this is being a kind and honest team-player in say a Survivor game, where you are competing against everybody else for a large sum of money. In cases like that, maintaining your morals can be extremely difficult given the temptation of money, and like we’ve seen countless times, people who play tend to turn into backstabbing snakes out of selfishness.)

Too much testosterone? Psshhh... no such thi—YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE BRO??? Me ANGRY!

Agree with what everyone said, with the exception of the above comment - you can’t blame testosterone for this kind of behavior. Testosterone does not = complete lack of self-control. A couple of things I would add here: from the standpoint of this guy’s own self-interest, he did a really stupid thing. Everyone and their brother is training in martial arts/MMA these days - what of the dude was a well-trained fighter? His inability to control himself could have gotten him put into a world of pain. The other thing to consider is what if the victim had some sort of disability or medical issue? What if he had some kind of epileptic seizure or suffered some kind of brain damage (either in the past or resulting from the fight)? Not only would you feel horrible about what you’ve done, but you could find yourself in a whole world of legal and/or financial trouble. This is the thinking of an irrational teenager, acting on pure emotion. And I don’t say that just to shame, but also to point out that there are probably some seriously unresolved issues in this guy’s past that are preventing him from making sound decisions for himself. He should be in therapy to work on his anger and self-control.

Who acts like a savage. is his life even remotely threatened? This is what I don't like about us. we men have too much testosterone and it makes us aggravated enough so we just fight. it's biological BUT! a true high quality guy doesn't fight for BS reasons! only if someone is in danger then it's self defense.

Why would you just go straight into a fight? There's enough stories out there of people getting hit and dying, then the aggressor goes to jail for years. Winning bro. Speak as gentlemen first, fighting should only be reserved for times of danger.

Hi guys, check out this Reddit page called r/FemaleDatingStrategy. The post I've linked here has a tag called: "How to High-Value" which is a tag that all the posts in this subreddit have when the subject of the post is an man displaying High Value Behaviour for men. I want to see to what extent the people here agree with what this subreddit labels as High Value. Would be interesting to see what other men think. This is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jr43u7/this_is_what_a_hvm_looks_like_warrick_dunn_helped/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Yep Alexander lenient on the guy. This is premeditated assault, ambush.

Andy

😂😂😂

Apart from all the reasons discussed above and the video about why turning to physical fights is a bad idea, this guy was clearly the aggressor in the party and can be sued for assault. Especially since he's in the USA, he could have been sued out of his mind but it seems like the person who got beat up didn't do that, and I think that's actually quite nice of him.

Ashwin Srinivas

Haha, I dont know what a 'prime hee' is, I failed to notice the autocorrect. I meant 'people he was with'

Jennifer Coopman

Disclosure: I'm a teetotaler so take my opinion with a grain of salt because it's a strong one. The are few things more unattractive to me than a drunk person. If I see a drunk person they are immediately deemed ugly and unworthy of my attention. Regarding if his current or former behavior is masculine, he's got three strikes against him. First, getting so sloppy drunk that he puked and they had to call 911 for him. It's not like he's a 19 year old frat pledge under power pressure. He was 29, well into an age where he should be making rational responsible decisions. I would presume that losing control of yourself is not masculine especially when it puts your life in danger. Second, that he kept this grudge against the staff for some time, and after that time, it was still so intense he violently assaulted a man without warning or provocation. I could be wrong, but I think we've progressed as a society to the point where displays of mindess aggression are no longer considered masculine. Alexander did a video an even woman wasn't their men to fight, but I have witnessed many drunken men fighting and their women were at best embarrassed and at worst feared for his life. They did not find it attractive. Some tried ro intervene and got hurt themselves. The letter writer says this was the first and only time he did this. Does he mean the first time he got thurs drunk? Or the first time he assaulted another person? It was only a year ago, it's not like this was a youthful transgression made because he was trying to impress a girl by acting tough and now he's had time to mature. Third, he still rationalizes his behavior by blaming others. Apparently he was sober and of sound mind when he saw the guy again, so the fact that he was so bent on blaming someone for his mistake is proof of his low quality. Again, as a teetotaler, I admit my perception is skewed. So I wonder if some of the other women in this forum can help me understand why women would find a man like this attractive? Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who has recently displayed a lack of self control, violent tendencies, and the willingness to blame someone else for their own responsibility? Who wants to raise babies with a man who she has to worry about him. Maybe if he admits it was all his fault and goes several years without having another incident, then he can say it was an anomaly. Other questions: where were the prime hee was with, or the other parties? They were also witnesses to his drunkenness, so by his logic, should he also go beat them up for endangering his life by allowing him to make bad choices? Was this in a city/ state where bartenders can be held criminally liable for not cutting someone off, so maybe he felt they failed in their responsibilty to monitor their patrons' intake?

Jennifer Coopman

Good for him to be on his masculine path and purpose, but here he slipped and lots of potential to extract from that experience. I see it this way: 1. He chose to lose self-control when he had the breakup. Instead of being only sad, grieve, and keep going, he let it hit him so hard that threw away his composure. Happens to the best. 2. In order to solve his issue he grabbed alcohol instead of dealing with the issue. This is NEVER the way to go. 3. He navigated himself into a position where he even vomited. It is important to notice that at this point the people around you lose respect and the sense of worth for you. This is a very inconvenient position since people seek distance from you instead of helping you. As another Patreon member pointed out: For the barkeeper, you are a potentially aggressive guy who is highly drunk. He has no intention to protect you from yourself. No matter what the barkeeper did, the author navigated himself there and should take on that responsibility. Giving a random barkeeper so much power over yourself is maybe also a point to work on. 4. To hold the grudge up for over a year is maybe also not so good. The barkeeper didn't even know the author existed. A very heavy package to carry with very little return. The barkeeper lived a very happy year perhaps. 5. At the party he didn't follow the social protocol and possibly because of fear he used physical violence directly. It is easy to just skip the dialogue when you know you will win the physical fight easily. Would he have done it, if the barkeeper was muscular 6'5 and weighs 240 Pounds? If he hadn't beat the barkeeper half to death he had to put forth a perhaps difficult and confrontational conversation where the barkeeper possibly denies everything. If that is the case there is a very strong mismatch in perception of the situation. Just some thoughts, maybe some of them resonate with you and it helps. It's the inherent experience of life that you won't get it right :)

Thomas Ochsenfarth

I agree with what Karam said, as a trained martial artist myself, I never initiated physical aggression, only used it as a retaliation method, so I agree with you as well. For legal reasons also, as I live in Germany, the aggressor is always at fault, even though I never faced such situations here. I believe the patron should take ownership of his life, forgive himself and others and embrace a better life philosophy where physical aggression is only resorted to when one is getting physically attacked.

elnibs

I listened to this one with my husband because I can’t really relate to fighting stuff. He said: “he’s an idiot” (meaning the drunk guy) and then shook his head and left it at that. As for me, from another woman’s perspective, I see several red flags and based on that story alone wouldn’t trust that guys judgement. But I agree with Karam’s comment above - there is a lot we don’t know about how things really went down.

As a ex-bouncer, highly trained martial artist, and high quality abuse survivor from my childhood who is very spiritual here’s my take: Our guy was in bad spirits (pun?-) and low vibes... feeling the suck and sadness of many things... Chose to get hammered. Bought allot of booze. Acted tough. Acted the big drinker. Had allot of ego. Got into a non verbal pissing contest with the bartender... showed the bartender what tough drinker he was. Got removed from the bar and locked out. Because he was a asshole who was angry, mean and sad, plus egotistical. The bartender may have been like “fuck it”... I’ll take your money, you’ll throw up, you’ll learn a lesson or your just another plan old alcoholic who is blacked out (we guess but we can never tell)... Dude has little to no memory of the night but that he dropped cash and got the boot. Dude blames the bartender and not his downward spiral of on going negative energy... Ultimately he blames another man for the crux of his whole worlds problems and vows to beat, injure and punk the man back “because” he feels the bartender should have cut him off sooner. Here’s a fact. Sometimes violent people should be fed drinks till their violence is no longer accessible. You want street justice? Give the mean drinker what he wants till he’s rendered inept and not a danger to staff as cutting off a drunk is triggering for them and potentially dangerous if the dude shows violent tendencies or posturing. Then our guys sobers up and chooses vengeance for being tossed out of the bar unceremoniously. He is now targeting venue staff due to hurt feelings, ego bruising ect. He no longer sees is sadness as his... it’s the employee who served him that’s the whole emotional problem in his life. He see said employee at a get together and rage fully blind sided him thereby demonstrating he was indeed a danger on previous occasion. Our victim grabs a knife and then tells dude to fuck off a 2nd time, probably saying hill kill him if he’s ever attacked again and to stay away from the bar, this party and any and all people present. Our guy then says he doesn’t hang with these people anymore... Our guy has just created another man as his problem and solution, shit on him, then vacated the whole associated social scene under threat of death and or humiliations to come. I’ve met a couple bartenders who have nudged people to drink... or been superficial pals... to get tips and up sales... Bartenders also tend to act above people and that is annoying. Very annoying. But then they deal with alcoholics who are very arrogant often... so it’s all part of the stable environment. As a ex-bouncer I was never targeted for revenge. I have had my whole staff though targeted... everyone. It’s a common occurrence. It never happened to me because... I’m a sales man, a negotiator... a soothsayer. I also took on the job as fun, sacred and as training for my arts. The job made me look cool to gals... I was popular. I took shit and gave shinola. No one else took shit. No one else gave shinola. The staff followed rules. I bent them. I was a slow bouncer... I made people feel a better party was elsewhere. I also told them if they beat me up I would like to pay them and then sing up for lessons... I told them I don’t win fights... I just don’t lose them. I made my drunks feel good about being evicted for the night. Our bartender in our guys story seams pretty normal. The patron a asshole and a dangerous person who can’t see he is the problem. He simply felt bad about life, went to a bar, and found a way to get into a fight and beat down a person with a blind side. Our guy was my favorite type of drunk to take down. A drunk who abuses others with slight or made up reasons... our guy, find a reason to beat a man without him even knowing or seeing it coming. He is a victimizer. He is why I learned my arts. He would also sue when losing and beg for escape when restrained... then hit you when you let him go and run away type. He is not responsible for any of this in his own mind. It’s truly “others” fault. Yes I heard he took “some” responsibility... Listen, when you beat and bloody a man from ambush... at a party, on a vengeance kick... your the problem. You got punked at most last situation... if you want to fight, fine. See dude... and share a drink... talk... stand up for yourself... punk him back at most... but if you fuck with the bull please expect the horns... you don’t stab the bull while it’s chewing grass looking the other way... Our guy is lucky our dude doesn’t seek revenge himself. It sound like he was tossed from this party at knife point and no one there like him. That’s my take as a dude who does not start fights, enjoys breaking them up, enjoys soothsaying combatants and hates fighting for himself but loves it for others. The bartender in this story may be a asshole or he may have just been a normal bartender who was badgered by a abusive drinker on the original event night. WE DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW.