Editing Marathon: Chapter Eight.
Added 2024-07-29 14:30:18 +0000 UTCHi guys.
Here is Chapter Eight.
Thanks for all the help. It means a lot to me.
Regards,
BlaQQuill.
Comments
I said she'd know everything she needed to know about beings at the third tier and below. Is there a place where she knows more than she ought to? (Kindly reference it if you can.) Secondly, yes, an answer has already been given for why they've remained platonic. Greg can't bring himself to trust her seeing as she is an avatar of a being with hidden motives.
BlaQQuill
2024-07-31 09:33:06 +0000 UTCOnly a couple of questions, and they may very well be answered later on, but with the Familiar, you say she was only given rudimentary knowledge about things, but in later stages she has seemingly a lot more than that.. there is no mention of her knowledge expanding as Greg advances.. Secondly, the whole last paragraph, she basically describes how she can and will do everything sexually under the sun for him but you never went down this avenue. But there might be an explanation to this in later chapters that I have just forgotten.. It just might come across a bit disjointed, especially if it's going to be in the same book, read all at once.. from her saying that to them being completely platonic..
Jace
2024-07-31 08:25:14 +0000 UTC"They" is correct. They in this case are her magical senses. She didn't stop dead.
Avalon R
2024-07-31 01:35:10 +0000 UTCParagraph 14 The healer’s magical senses had been just about to breach the walls of the room the boy was in when they stopped dead and alarm bells started ringing in her mind. Replace “they” with “she”, I think.
Anodes
2024-07-29 17:07:55 +0000 UTC
