SC011 Short Hair Nina
Added 2019-06-23 08:16:21 +0000 UTCwhy am I posting a sketch at 2 AM on a Sunday? I spent most of the day with a headache I could barely function with, but I made the sketch for Monday's page anyway... Except that didn't seem like enough, so I stayed up & tried to draw something. I'm certainly not feeling happy, but somehow Nina managed to be. I've been sick with random symptoms for a week. I don't know if dad brought home some kind of bug or it's just the normal wear and tear I put myself through getting to me.
When you make your living doing something only you are responsible for you're never off the clock. At least that's how it is for me. I always feel like I should be working. I don't even leave the house unless I'm forced to because, among other things, I spend the entire time thinking about the work I should be doing. I even dream up new ways to work even more & sometimes I'm foolish enough to act on them.
When you're sitting, alone, at 2 AM, on a Sunday, at 43 years of age, you begin to question your life choices & wonder where all of this is heading. I stopped talking about my life in the blog because people told me they didn't want to hear it anymore. After almost a decade of talking openly with my audience that hurt. A lot more than I realized at the time. The blog isn't the daily journal it once was. Of course I don't have much to say there now anyway. It's just me alone with the dogs most of the day doing the day today things I have to do to keep things going.
I should just go to sleep, but I want to keep working until I finally feel secure.
Comments
As an aside relevant to the illo: Short-hair Nina: Not the Nina we Deserve, but the Nina we Need. ;)
Churchill (formerly TeaBear)
2019-06-24 04:03:58 +0000 UTCInternet commenters can compliment or complain. They say things to you they wouldn’t likely say if they were face to face. That being said, you’re at risk for burning out if you feel like your life’s purpose is only the webcomic and it’s not having the positive impact you want (which it most assuredly is!) Take care of your mental health. No one will do it for you. I work as a therapist and you’re approaching the highest risk time of your life for suicide. If you’re having a hard time dealing with difficult comments and having trouble sleeping, I’d recommend working with a professional that is trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. You are an extremely valuable person to a lot of people. Your life is more important than your webcomic.
Erin Collins
2019-06-23 23:36:13 +0000 UTCFor what it's worth, I'm still working through your archive because I feel your life blog is worthwhile reading, and sometimes the comments below are as well. Except that I'm not always up for it, so I take breaks. It'd be nice to be able to do that with my life sometimes, and I'm sure you'd feel the same about yours. I'm usually not very good with words, so I hope this doesn't come out wrong. But for what it's worth, I'm sure that you have more people who care about you than I have who care about me. I'm absolutely not complaining, just trying to say that there are people who appreciate you and people who love you. It sucks that you're alone in your life, but you're not alone on the Internet.
Some Ed
2019-06-23 22:39:08 +0000 UTCI also was wondering about that. The life blogs were sort of useful to know how your battles with illness were going after the donation a few years back. You make great work and should be proud of what you have accomplished! I do think you are working a little more than you need to, because I am concerned the foundation of being able to create that work is becoming unstable again. Your ethic is great, but make sure that you can actually physically do it.
2019-06-23 16:23:56 +0000 UTCDitto here.
Churchill (formerly TeaBear)
2019-06-23 15:13:10 +0000 UTC
