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Obligatory Video About Microsoft Buying Activision (The Jimquisition)

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Microsoft is acquiring Activision Blizzard in one of the biggest power moves this industry has ever seen. I guess we have to talk about that instead of anything I wanted to talk about. God's sake!

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Podquisition 369: Proper Sausage

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Have a meaty one.

Games we played this week include: 

The Procession to Calvary (18:00)
Buck Up and Drive (26:35)
Super Bomberman R (32:28)
Galaga Wars + (38:35)
The Anacrusis (39:10)
Anvil (40:25)
Forza Horizon 5 (41:20)
Halo Infinite (45:30)
Deep Rock Galactic (49:05)
Blaster Mast...

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The Procession To Calvary - A Classical Classic (Jimpressions)

jimquisition post The Procession To Calvary - A Classical Classic (Jimpressions) from patreon

Originally released in 2020 and finally stumbled upon by James Stephanie Sterling in 2022, The Procession to Cavalry has very quickly become one of my favorite games.   

Seriously, I love this special little adventure game. Funny, ridiculous, and visually creative, I can't praise it enough.

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Asking Sterling Questions Time

‘Allo ‘allo, you fuckin’ patrons you!

It’s been a little minute since we had an Asking Sterling, the Patreon hosted podcast where patrons ask questions and I, in the noble tradition of Q&A, provide the answers.

If you have queries, drop them in the comments and I’ll answer. They can be about work, ga...

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S... E... X (The Jimquisition)

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Game Jolt's recent decision to ban so-called "p*rn games" leads your old pal James Stephanie Sterling to rant about the treatment of adult content and sex workers overall.

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Podquisition 368: Uncomfortable Number Two

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There are many barriers, even dangers, but we have no choice.

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Cryptovania (The Jimquisition)

jimquisition post Cryptovania (The Jimquisition) from patreon

Konami is the publisher y'all just love to hate, and recently it's jumped aboard a bandwagon held in equal contempt by decent people everywhere - NFTs!  

Yes, nobody could be surprised that one of gaming's most pathetically cynical publishers would go all crypto on us, so let's just tear into Konami once again, sha...

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Podquisition 367: Wetter Is Better

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Apologies for posting this to the Patreon late. Having a heck of a time with chronic pain. Here ya go!

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Beware Of The Giant Mommy Milkers (Squirty Play)

jimquisition post Beware Of The Giant Mommy Milkers (Squirty Play) from patreon

Playing two games today - the absolutely awful Melony, and Goddess Husk, a game that is... better? At least better than it has any right to be.

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Square Enix Promises A Sickening NFT Future (The Jimquisition)

jimquisition post Square Enix Promises A Sickening NFT Future (The Jimquisition) from patreon

Square Enix has ripped off the mask to show just how cynical, just how exploitative, just how greedy the game industry is. As it embraces the Metaverse, the Blockchain, and NFTs, it promises a truly horrible future for gaming.   

This is the culmination of everything the "AAA" industry has been working towards...

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Podquisition 366: See You Next Year

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Podquisition 366: See You Next Year

Thank God it’s over.

Games we played this week include: 

Aliens: Fireteam Elite (7:20)
Earwax (13:45)
Backbone (17:50)
The Short Games Collection #1 (21:55)
Bloodroots (31:40)
Hot Wheels Unleashed (34:30)
Dandy Ace (37:10)
Lemnis Gate (39:40) View Post

Top Ten Sh*ttiest Games Of 2021 (The Jimquisition)

jimquisition post Top Ten Sh*ttiest Games Of 2021 (The Jimquisition) from patreon

The year is wrapping up, and that means the grisly business must be undertaken yet again. Ten horrible, horrible games that contributed only misery to the industry are here for your nasty edification.   

From the expected to the obscure, drink in the filth as we once again scour the depths. It's garbage day! View Post

Podquisition 365: The War on Christmas Special

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Santa Claus is coming. Are you ready for him?

Games we played this week include:
The Artful Escape (7:00)
Serious Sam 4 (14:01)
Firegirl: Hack ‘n Splash Rescue (18:15)
Nightmare Creatures (22:45)
A Year of Spring (26:00)
Hot Wheels Unleashed (29:00)
Dodgeball Academia (35:10)
Enter the Gungeon...

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Streaming at 3pm ET and airing Commander Sterling’s I Quit Match

Hi all! Just a quick notice to say I’m running a stream at 3pm Eastern over on Twitch.tv/jimsterling

Usual shenanigans are afoot, but I’m also excited to finally show off Commander Sterling vs. Brandon K, which I’ll run on the hour at 4pm. This is the big “I Quit” match for full control of Ryse Wrestling, the...

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The Videogames I Didn't Completely Hate This Year Awards 2021 (The Jimquisition)

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Awards are meaningless. Videogames don't deserve applause. It is, however, the end of the year, and that means trophies must be given whether we played deserving titles or not.   

Join me, then, as your old pal James Stephanie Sterling lists a number of games they didn't completely hate this year. They're all ...

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Podquisition 364: Sharp, Shiny and Small

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Ouch!

Games we played this week include: 

Solar Ash (7:00)
Firegirl: Hack ‘n Splash Rescue (13:30)
Loop Hero (23:30)
Shovel Knight: Pocket Dungeon (33:00)
Monster Rancher DX (40:20)
Lawn Mowing Simulator (52:45)

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News things talked about in this episode:

Support the A Bet...

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DigiPen: The College That Teaches Crunch Culture (The Jimquisition)

jimquisition post DigiPen: The College That Teaches Crunch Culture (The Jimquisition) from patreon

DigiPen Institute of Technology is an incredibly influential establishment in the games industry. A college respected enough to land its students jobs on sheer reputation, DigiPen is highly regarded.  

It also teaches students to accept being overworked and crunched to breaking point.   

The Jimquis...

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Podquisition 363: Ghosts of Flavor

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Seltzer is nonsense.

Games we played this week include: 

Pokémon Brilliant Diamond (10:55)
Gunfire Reborn (15:35)
Kill It With Fire (21:50)
Dauntless (23:40)
The Binding of Isaac: Repentance (27:30)
Mindscanners (30:10)
Paradise Lost (37:05)
Space Warlord Organ Simulator (41:10)
Lawn ...

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Ho Ho Horrible! (Squirty Play)

jimquisition post Ho Ho Horrible! (Squirty Play) from patreon

Hello friends! Here is a bad Christmas game for you to enjoy watching me not enjoy! 

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The Stunning Cruelty Of Raven Software's Layoffs (The Jimquisition)

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Activision Blizzard isn't going to let a massive scandal over its work culture get in the way of some good old fashioned layoffs, and it won't let human decency get in the way of making those layoffs cruel as possible.

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Orangey Tangs: Jaffa Cake Monsters (Heaving Toy Chest)

jimquisition post Orangey Tangs: Jaffa Cake Monsters (Heaving Toy Chest) from patreon

In 1997, Jaffa Cakes launched a line of weird little koosh ball monsters called Orangey Tangs. I might be the only person alive who cares.

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Podquisition 362: The Saddest Animals

jimquisition post Podquisition 362: The Saddest Animals from patreon

No, not gamers.

Games we played this week include: 

Ender Lillies (14:30)
Death’s Door (19:20)
Pokémon Brilliant Diamond (24:30)
Gunfire Reborn (33:00)
Warlock of Firetop Mountain (38:30)

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News things talked about in this episode:

GTA San Andreas gets remastered with fog to...

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When Games Media Forgets The Whole Abuse Thing (The Jimquisition)

jimquisition post When Games Media Forgets The Whole Abuse Thing (The Jimquisition) from patreon

When Ubisoft's horrific history of abuse was exposed last year, it stunned me how quickly games media moved on when it came time to review the latest Assassin's Creed guff.   

Some argue game reviews and coverage of game releases are no place for reminders that said games are published by monsters. I argue the...

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Podquisition 361: Text of No Merit

Patreon is doing its thing where it doesn't load the podcast properly. Link here: https://soundcloud.com/jimquisition/podquisition-361-text-of-no-merit

Courtesy of Dwight J. Ingle.

Games we played this wee...

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Bobby Kotick Is An Abusive Monster (The Jimquisition)

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The CEO of Activision Blizzard has been outed as a truly vile creep. Yes, somehow more so than before. Oh dear.

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Podquisition 360: Face the Music

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On the Third Day, A New World Record, Out of the Blue.

Games we played this week include: 

Grand Theft Auto Trilogy Definitive Edition (13:30)
Halo Infinite (27:15)
Kill It With Fire (33:20)
Skyrim (40:15)
Shin Megami Tensei V (44:20)
Binding of Isaac: Repentance (48:40)
Dead Estate (49:30)<...

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Grand Theft Awful (The Jimquisition)

jimquisition post Grand Theft Awful (The Jimquisition) from patreon

The Grand Theft Auto Trilogy, otherwise known hilariously as Grand Theft Auto Definitive Edition, is terrible. A disaster. A most amusing circus.   

Having been thoroughly review bombed, mocked on social media, and revealed to be a bug-laden mess, Rockstar's latest release has managed turned the days since lau...

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Podquisition 359: Obvious Comedy Discourse

jimquisition post Podquisition 359: Obvious Comedy Discourse from patreon

Have we said something to offend you?

Games we played this week include:
Lost in Random (8:25)
Inscryption (14:15)
Forza Horizon 5 (22:50)
Popeye (31:50)
Animal Crossing: New Horizons (38:15)
Dying Light (39:15)
Resident Evil Revelations 1&2 (39:55)
Dorfromantik (41:15)
Binding of Isaac: ...

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Popeye - How Pathetic Can One Game Be? (Jimpressions)

jimquisition post Popeye - How Pathetic Can One Game Be? (Jimpressions) from patreon

One of the laziest, most despicable games I've ever played, the sheer lack of effort in conjunction with a well known license is beyond appalling.   

Let's see just how utterly pathetic one game can be. The answer is very. Very, very pathetic.

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Livestreaming That Hilarious M.A.R.S Game At 3pm ET

Hi folks! I usually don't like posting and bothering you twice in a day, but just thought I'd let you know I'm streaming that ridiculous M.A.R.S game I recently did a video on at twitch.tv/jimsterling! 

We'll be going at 3pm ET, which I thiiiiiink is 8pm British time? 

Come join me for condescending voic...

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