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Catherynne M. Valente from patreon

Catherynne M. Valente

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Catherynne M. Valente posts

Through a Window Darkly: Transparent Prose and YOU

Catherynne M. Valente post Through a Window Darkly: Transparent Prose and YOU from patreon

 

Greetings, all! Summer has finally arrived in Maine, along with hordes of people and even greater, gnarlier hordes of complaining from Mainers who view tourists as an invasive species of insect that must be borne with the least possible amount of grace. Ah, life in New England.

I told you all about my garden last ...

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May Recipe: Vanilla-Scented Fried Rice Topped With Honey Garlic Shrimp

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Honey Garlic Shrimp with Vanilla-Scented Fried Rice

Basically my favorite foods group is “fancied-up versions of cheap comfort food” and this is definitely falls into that category. Give me truffled tater tots or gently-disciplined chicken nuggets with some kind of weird selection of sauces and I’m happy...

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May Livestream Q & A

Hullo, everyone!

The May Q & A is live and viewable for all as of now! Come hear about lizards, Eurovision, my closet, and Dorian Gray, all delivered by my GIANT DUMB FACE. 

Remember that Mad Post Doc Students and above can ask the questions every month, but everyone gets to see the answers. Thank you so much fo...

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April Experiment: Infinite Well-Meaning Golden Retrievers with Infinite Keyboards

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Infinite Well-Meaning Golden Retrievers with Infinite Keyboards: A Guide to Publishing

Greeting, Mad Fictioneers! It is that season known as What the Fuck Is Happening Up in This Here New England Situation. A week ago, it snowed; today it is eighty degrees and everything in the garden is screaming...

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ALLCAPS COOKBOOK: I Dream of Poland Green Vinaigrette Spread

Catherynne M. Valente post ALLCAPS COOKBOOK: I Dream of Poland Green Vinaigrette Spread from patreon

 

ALLCAPS COOKBOOK: I Dream of Poland Green Vinaigrette Spread

When I went to Poland last year for the Polish National Convention, I got to stay in, naturally, Polish hotels. And hotels in Europe, I’m sorry to say to my fellow Americans, have complimentary breakfasts that are so much better than o...

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Space Opera Winners!

Sorry this took a week to announce--the Lab went mobile and ended up in New York for the book launch, which turned out to be enormous and draining and then I got sick, which I still am, but at least I am home. 

We also made our first Museum Comedy trip over on Twitter, now that we've made that stretch goal! Unfortunately,...

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Space Opera Giveaway!

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Space Opera is out and in the world today! It is the crazy Hitchhiker's Guide-meets-Eurovision thing you guys read excerpts from on this very Patreon last year! It's real and you can hold it in your hands!

As is traditional, I have saved a few copies just for you. Comment on this post any time in the next 24 hours and I'll dra...

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March Experiment: Consider the Iguana

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Consider the Iguana: A Scenework Masterclass

And a good day to you, Mad Fiction Lab! It is finally thinking about, though not committing to, being spring here in Maine. It still needs a little time to get used to the idea, to learn to be comfortable with it, to trust again. Which means it’s grey...

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ALLCAPS COOKBOOK March Recipe: Charmander Noodles!

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Charmander Noodles

Hi everyone! TIME FOR FOOD AGAIN.

So this one is a real comfort dish around the Mad Fiction Lab. It’s CRAZY easy and CRAZY good and CRAZY versatile. Also stupidly cheap. I actually got the original recipe (which I have modified so much over the years that it bears little...

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A Return to the Wonders of Live-Tweeting (Possibly) Terrible Things

Just a quick note to let you know that I will finally be returning to regular live-tweeting of strange and possibly awful media tonight in one hour (8:30 EST). 

Tonight will be Krull. I have never seen this and know nothing about it, so all my opinions will be fresh. It could be great, you never know!

All happening ...

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Anniversary Temporary Unlock Funtimes

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Hello there Patrons! And apologies for the flood of notifications, I had no idea that would happen until, you know, it happened. 

Ahem.

So it has been over a year here on Patreon.

A year of experiments and recipes and photos and giveaways and Laboratory hi-jinx. Books have launched, beloved pets have depa...

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February Experiment: Writing Children and Children's Fiction

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Big and Small: Writing for Children

Greetings from the Mad Fiction Laboratory! As I write to you, Schrodinger’s Storm bears down upon us—we are warned by the weather service that ALL THE SNOW is coming to dunk on us, and yet, the actual weather report predicts a mild couple of inches. No one k...

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February Recipe: The Perfect Cheer. Er. Sandwich.

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ALLCAPS COOKBOOK: The Best of All Possible Sandwiches

All right, hungry, hungry hipsters, this one is a request from Twitter.

You see, quite by accident, whilst bumbling aorund the kitchen making Heath’s lunch for the next day’s audiobook recording, I happened to make the BEST SANDWICH O...

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First Prize Pack for 2018

Catherynne M. Valente post First Prize Pack for 2018 from patreon

Our winner is Jennifer Doyle!

Congratulations to Jennifer. You have won:

Signed copies of Radiance (UK edition)

 THE STILL UNRELEASED UPCOMING Space Opera,

A Hungarian edition of Deathless (the lab has lots of foreign editions slowly gaining sentience in forgotten corners so if...

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January Experiment: Name All the Things

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Say My Name, Say My Name: Naming People, Places and Things

Greetings, Laboratory Folk! It is just the most garbage part of winter here in Maine. Everything is alternately shrouded in ice or dripping with goo, and it’s grey, and it’s mushy, and it’s depressing, and it’s cold. The crisp pict...

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January Recipe: Muhammara (Syrian Pepper and Walnut Dip)

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ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Muhammara!

So I got it into my head last month that I wanted to learn how to cook a little Syrian cuisine. The fact is, most of my…erm…louder countrymen yell about Syria a lot but don’t know Thing One about the place, and probably wouldn’t recognize a Sy...

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December Experiment: Writer's Block

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Attack the Block: Writer’s Block, Easy Answers, and Hard Truths

Greetings from the Lab! It has been a roller coaster of a 2018 here, full of developments I can’t actually tell you about yet, but which have sufficiently knocked me on my hindquarters that I barely noticed the completely miserabl...

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December Giveaway: Books, Books, Books!

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Katharine Robson, you are December's raffle winner! The Lab will be lobbing you a care package filled with signed copies of all the above books and other wonderful goodies. Please make sure we have your address!

The January drawing will commence...SOON!

In other news, the Wifi Goblins have infested the Lab and forced me ...

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December Experiment Recipe: Mushy Peas

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ALL CAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: MUSHY PEAS!

So, mushy peas are actually kind of gross. At least, the kind you get in the chip shop. At least, they are to me. They’re a uniform mashed potato consistency, the flavor is pea-ish but neither here nor there, and they’re generally just kind of a allegedly green lump of s...

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We Did It, Patreon!

Patreon has announced that it will not roll out the fee changes that they dropped on us last week.

I'm sure everyone on Patreon is joining me in the current sigh of relief. I really hope this means that Patreon can stay a healthy, pos...

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November Experiment: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Write a Decent Query Letter

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Answer Me These Queries Three, Ere Publication You See

(posted to all patrons as a thank you for sticking with me through Patreon's fee restructuring, which affects $1 and $5 donors most)


Happy winter, my dearest Laboratory. Today was our first snow here in Maine, which gloriously mur...

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November Recipe: Spiritually and Emotionally Victorious Cranberry Compote

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ARE YOU READY TO CRANBERRRRRRY


What you need to know is that I spent approximately a million hours looking for this recipe.

I logged into two separate Yahoo accounts I haven’t used for years. Ten years, if Yahoo herself is to be believed, the minx. 

This recipe, another one for a ...

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Good News and Bad News: Patreon Fees and Life News

Hey, everyone.

The experiment will go up tomorrow, I have been under deadline and then, all of the sudden, Heath proposed and I am engaged. This...took some time. It's a wonderful shock and the world is different today than it was yesterday. My life has been so full of upheaval these last few years. I cling to the light, and t...

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November Excerpt: The Year of Red Snow

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This is an odd month for excerpts.

I've been working like crazy, but I can't show you any of it. I'm finishing Mass Effect: Annihilation, and I have an ironclad NDA. Not allowed to release any part of it before publication day. Since this is my first media tie-in novel, I feel confined. But there's not much I can do a...

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FIELD OPERATIVE REWARD PACKAGE #1

Catherynne M. Valente post FIELD OPERATIVE REWARD PACKAGE #1 from patreon

Greetings Patroneers!

Way back in April we announced a LABORATORY RANDOM TEST SUBJECT POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT LOTTERY GOAL, and as announced earlier this month thanks to your incredible support we achieved that goal.

So we engaged the Sentient Robotic Arm Who Hangs Around But No One Is Exactly Sure Of Their Origin Or Moti...

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October Experiment: Love in the Time of Nanowrimo: Life, Books, and the Conservation of Mana

Catherynne M. Valente post October Experiment: Love in the Time of Nanowrimo: Life, Books, and the Conservation of Mana from patreon

Love in the Time of Nanowrimo: Life, Books, and the Conservation of Mana


Greetings and salutations, mad fictioneers! It’s that time of year again, when the woodsmoke and candy wrappers blow on the crisp autumn wind, when the chimneys quiver at their winters’ work to come, when the trees turn gol...

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October ALLCAPS COOKBOOK Recipe: Steak with Peppercorn Pan Sauce

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THE ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Perfect Goof-Proof Wednesday Night Steak and Peppercorn Pan Sauce

OKAY OKAY YOU GUYS. 

So I like steak, RIGHT? WHO DOESN’T. But I always get a little frustrated that it’s never QUITE as good at home as in a restaurant and it gives me a sad. And everyone always gets all...

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Of Goals Achieved & Blind Fate

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Thanks to the incredible generosity of all you wonderful folk, we achieved the goal we have been hovering around for a few months!

Your support really means the world to me and all of the Lab Denizens. In the game of Pin the Horn on the Unicorn (pictured above) that is life, you all have spun around with vigour, giggled with d...

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The Future of Q&As

Hey, everyone!

I only received one question for the September Q&A, which, combined with viewing numbers, leads me to believe that, while everyone likes watching the livestream, coming up with questions isn't as fun for the Mad Post-Doc level of support as we here at the Lab had imagined. 

So, let me ask...

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September's Entry in the ALL CAPS COOKBOOK

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Gluten-Free Orange Almond Cake with Pineapple-Bourbon Glaze

This recipe is mainly from the Great British Bake Off cookbook, with the glaze and toppings being my own twist. 

I just can’t watch GBBO without baking something of my own, monkey see monkey do. And the other night, this was ...

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