A Jenga Tower Made of Jello and Broken Dreams: Writing, Process, and the Kind of Chaos Theory That Results in Inevitable Dinosaur Carnage
Hullo, Mad Fictioneers! October is upon us here in Maine, though I have been on the road for most of September, being an author and a minister and other things ...
2017-10-06 21:31:48 +0000 UTC View PostHi everybody! I officiated my brother's wedding last night, followed by an epic session of family Broadway karaoke, and will be posting September's experiment + rewards when I return home on Tuesday, followed shortly by the long-delayed-by-world-horrorshows live-tweet of X-Men: Apocalypse.
In other news, I deeply hope th...
2017-10-01 19:29:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey everyone! This month we've got a new short story I'm working on for my next short story collection, The Future Is Blue, out next year from Subterranean Press. I'd been fascinated with the concept of using the ten Hungarian words Dezs Kosztolányi said were the most beautiful in the language as a narrative structure for awhil...
2017-10-01 19:26:43 +0000 UTC View PostSince we've been doing these experiments for a few months now, I thought I would open the subject up to you guys. What would you like to see me cover this month? Business? Craft? What do YOU want to hear about? Leave a comment and let me know. I want you guys to get the most out of this!
2017-09-22 18:55:58 +0000 UTC View PostCongratulations, Vladimir Barash, Ann-Marie O'Connell, and Cass Morris, you've won signed copies of The Glass Town Game! Message me with your addresses and ...
2017-09-06 17:26:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Greetings, Laboratory folk!
My new middle grade book, The Glass Town Game, an adventure featuring the Bronte children, two sentient suitcases, and Napoleon riding a giant flaming chicken, is out today! Please do pick up a copy and come to one of the tour stops if you can!
In the meantime, we can make this a traditi...
2017-09-05 14:24:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Show Me On the Doll Where You’re Afraid You’ll Never Be Good Enough
Greetings, Citizens of the Laboratory. Autumn is upon us, which means cloudy days, hot fruit pies, apple cider, crisp leaves, and pumpkin-spiced awareness of our own mortality. It’s an early one here in Maine; the first cold...
2017-09-04 18:27:16 +0000 UTC View PostHi everybody!
August rewards will be going up tomorrow as I scramble to adjust to wicked jetlag and get back on my feet & catch up after exhausting travel. And now that things have (relatively) calmed down a tiny bit, I'll live-tweet X-Men: Apocalypse over the weekend.
Thanks for your patience!
2017-08-31 23:15:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Hi everyone! This month, an excerpt from a short story that will be published this winter in an anthology called Robots vs. Fairies. We were meant to choose one and write a story arguing for its superiority...but instead I accidentally wrote a full on WWE robot/fairy wrestling story and I can't wait for it to come out I am so ex...
2017-08-31 22:45:12 +0000 UTC View PostJason Beck and Jeremy Brett, message me with your addresses!
I'll be giving more away, so don't worry if your name didn't come up this time!
2017-08-17 21:32:25 +0000 UTC View Post
Look what new beastie just arrived at the Lab!
Yes, it's The Glass Town Game, my middle grade fantasy about the Bronte siblings, out in just three short weeks! You can pre-order it here, and if you can, please do. Pr...
2017-08-16 21:11:29 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's hoping this works!
https://www.crowdcast.io/e/q--a-livestream-patreon
2017-08-10 01:17:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Live-streaming the answers to your questions and more. Come join me!
And patrons at the Appropriate Level or Above - feel free to add more questions right up until showtime.
2017-08-09 23:01:46 +0000 UTC View Post
Well the polls are closed for this month's Live Tweet and it looks like "X-men: Apocalypse" is the winner BY A MERE 1%.
Thanks for voting, and stay tuned tomorrow Thursday the 10th at 9pm-ish EST for the tweeting.
2017-08-09 22:52:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Passionfruit Syrup
So I was going to post the recipe for linguine with white wine jalapeno sauce this month, but I ate it all up so fast I forgot to take a picture of the stuff, so that will have to wait a bit. In its place is one of my secret summer essentials.
I thought I hated passionfrui...
2017-08-01 22:30:28 +0000 UTC View Post
What’s My Motivation, Mr. Director?
Greetings from the Mad Fiction Laboratory! It is high summer here in New England, which means that all my little green and growing experiments in the garden are starting to grow up big and strong and I can’t honestly say whether or not cucumbers this size ar...
2017-08-01 22:16:13 +0000 UTC View PostOkay lab partners. What shall it be this month? Get clicking.
(Note - I did not include Overwatch as was suggested as I do not own that game and the $60 pricetag is little much for a one-off. Will keep it in mind for the future though, thanks Sian!)
2017-07-30 14:55:47 +0000 UTC View Post
Greetings, Mad Laboratory Assistants!
This month, you get an entire short story that's never been published anywhere else. Why?
Well, because last year, I was asked to contribute to a Stanislaw Lem tribute anthology to celebrate one of his birthdays. It was to be published first in Polish, which I've done before and is p...
2017-07-28 18:23:28 +0000 UTC View PostNow comes that time when the children gather round the burning fire of cultural criticism and choose a new beast for me to feast my angry eyes upon!
Please suggest movies, an episode of television, video game, or other screen-focused event (current events and sports are fine) and I will make an easy poll for everyone to ...
2017-07-26 16:13:16 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's the livestream for the Q & A, available to all my Patreon supporters due to the generosity of the Mad Post Doc Students!
God I hope this worked. It is NOT intuitive.
https://www.crowdcast.io/e/q--a-livestream-1 2017-07-19 18:30:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's the livestream for the Q & A, available to all my Patreon supporters due to the generosity of the Mad Post Doc Students!
God I hope this worked. It is NOT intuitive.
https://www.crowdcast.io/e/q--a-livestream-1 2017-07-18 18:58:00 +0000 UTC View Post
The Lord’s Potatoes v. 2.0
Some potatoes (however much you want, really, the recipe is very flexible)
3-6 cloves garlic
2 sprigs of fresh rosemary
2 sprigs of fresh thyme
1 tsp curry powder or potato sprinkle (Australian spice combo)
5 tblsp Olive oil
1/2 teas...
2017-07-11 22:02:08 +0000 UTC View PostJust what the title says. Come on over to Twitter (@catvalente) and watch along with the hashtag #avocadojungle
This is probably a perfect movie for the monthly livetweeting, in that I have seen it, but not for ages, and all I remember is I HATE IT LIKE FIRE. So let's get out the marshmallows.
2017-07-07 00:27:44 +0000 UTC View Post
Cat's Convention Commandments, or, How to Be a Good Panelist
Greetings, Laboratory Folk! I write this from the most wonderful, peaceful, aesthetically pleasing and definitely not-at-all soul crushing spot in the world—after hours in the departure terminal at Denver International Airport. I’ve ...
2017-07-05 01:40:17 +0000 UTC View PostHey everyone! Do not fear, the experiment is incoming shortly, as is the winning livetweet--Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death!
Time at Denver ComicCon is proving more scarce than I'd like, and my dog's cancer surgery devoured the better part of what free time I had during this month of constant touring, but I'm scr...
2017-07-01 15:48:36 +0000 UTC View PostSorry for the long gap between suggestions and poll--there is a severe locked room mystery afoot, in that my laptop charger vanished from a literal locked room while I was on tour, rendering me computerless for the last week. CLEARLY I BROUGHT A PIECE OF INFERNAL VOID FROM THE LAB KITCHEN AND IT ATE MY CYBERPOWER. Still waiting ...
2017-06-26 19:24:15 +0000 UTC View PostThe Mobile Mad Fiction Lab is currently reporting in from Kansas, where I just won the Theodore Sturgeon Award and watched an amazing prairie thunderstorm all night afterward. It is surprisingly beautiful here--my previous experience of Kansas was during a blizzard, so I had a bad impression.
Anyway.
I deeply appre...
2017-06-17 16:16:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Happy June, Laboratory supporters!
I was asked to give the commencement address for the graduating class of 2017 at Kimberton Waldorf School outside Philadelphia. Here is what came bubbling out of the beakers.
(The text of this speech, may be reproduced, with credit, for free.)
Everything...
2017-06-12 14:23:32 +0000 UTC View PostThe winners of signed copies of The Refrigerator Monologues are...
IllustriousIllusionist and Hallie!
Send me your addresses so you can get your loot!
We'll do other giveaways here as the year goes on, the odds on Patreon are way better than on Twitter. Thank you all for your support.
Much more to come ...
2017-06-08 14:34:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello, beloved members of the Mad Fiction Laboratory!
Today one of my mutant creations, The Refrigerator Monologues, shambles out into the world. It's essentially The Vagina Monologues for superheroes' girlfriends. Funny, punky, pissed off, postmodern, chilled in the crisper drawer.
You've probably seen me babbling...
2017-06-06 19:52:00 +0000 UTC View Post
