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shamusyoung posts

DMotR Special 1-4

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DM of the Rings CXLIV: The Long-Expected Parting

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"Friends! I will not keep you long. I am writing this to you for a purpose. Indeed, for three purposes. First of all, to tell you that I am immensely fond of you all, and that one year is far too short a time to write a webco...

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DM of the Rings CXLIII: Elfophobic

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"You can bestow important titles and places of prominence to the player characters in your story. Perhaps you’ll even make one king. But in the end, no matter what you do, that character is going to end up acting just like the idiot sitting across the table from you." ~Shamus

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DM of the Rings CXLII: Rank Bribery

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"You can get away with anything, story-wise, as long as you give the players enough rewards. These rewards become hostages which compel the players to stay. Sure, you can leave the campaign now, but then you’ll never get to use this +50 vorpal sword of awesome that glows like a lightsaber and once a day...

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DM of the Rings CXLI: The Moment of Truth

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"The rulebooks give you the ability to create worlds of incredible complexity. There’s a thousand ways to resolve a situation, and a thousand different ways to butcher it and kill the tension of the moment." ~Shamus

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DM of the Rings CXL: Leave Everything to Chance

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"When it comes to rolling dice, there are two types of players: One likes to avoid risk, and takes comfort in the cold, hard reality as defined by the shape of the bell curve and their advantageous position on it. The other kind wants to defy death and live against the odds at every possible moment.

These two types almo...

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DM of the Rings CXXXIX: Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy!

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DM of the Rings CXXXVIII: Another Cunning Gambit

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DM of the Rings CXXXVII: Let’s Get This Parley Started

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"“Parley” is the French word for “everyone else is flat-footed and bare-handed”." ~Shamus

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DM of the Rings CXXXVI: Knock, Knock

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"To be fair, I think Gimli is pointing out a problem with the original work: How did all those orcs get enough food to live? I’m having trouble picturing an orcish farm, much less orcs producing all the accoutrements needed to run one. Both the book and the movie depict orcs with their own bread. Can you imagine an...

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DM of the Rings CXXXV: There and Back Again

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DM of the Rings CXXXIV: Hold Your Horses

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"Players tend to treat horses like motorcycles: They are vehicles which can go anywhere you can walk, will never wander off, have no fear, feel no pain, and can travel at top speed for as long as you like.

And if you think players abuse the rules surrounding backpacks, just wait until they get their hands on the greates...

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DM of the Rings CXXXIII: Strategifications

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"The best sort of player revolt is when they refuse to listen to your advice, but end up doing what you wanted them to do anyway." ~Shamus

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DM of the Rings CXXXII: Wheels Within Wheels, Man

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"Nothing is more annoying than when the players misunderstand the plot, the characters, and the events of the story, but they manage to guess what you’re going to do next anyway." ~Shamus

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DM of the Rings CXXXI: A Profound Lack of Swooning

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"Even the most greedy and cynical gamer is willing to roleplay once they are the center of attention. That is, they are willing to roleplay when it’s difficult or impossible for anyone else to roleplay along.

Which explains why the DM is always so eager for a chance to kill them off.

Which explains why players a...

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DM of the Rings CXXX: You May Now Celebrate

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DM of the Rings CXXIX: While You Were Fighting

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"During combat, it’s rude to make other players wait by using the bathroom, stepping outside for a smoke, or getting something to eat. Wait until the fight is over to do those things. When the DM says, “While you were fighting, here is what the NPCs were doing…”, that’s your cue that it’s safe to leave the room fo...

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DM of the Rings CXXVIII: A Legacy of Deceit

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"Most reasonable people refer to this strip by episode number, but as the guy who makes the pages I tend to think of it in terms of page numbers. Today’s strip brings us to the 200 page landmark. Pretty cool." ~Shamus

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DM of the Rings CXXVII: An Offer You Can’t Refuse

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"Players tend to stay on the rails better when you place obvious landmines on either side of the tracks." ~Shamus

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DM of the Rings CXXVI: A Force With Which to be Reckoned

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"Remember Fear the Boot, the guys who interviewed me back in May? As I menti...

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DM of the Rings CXXV: Faux Pas

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"I have to admit that King Carcass has a point: There were a lot of kings in that particular fight. There was Theoden, Aragorn, the Nine, and the king of the dead. It was pretty much the who’s who of who’s dead in Middle Earth. Everyone who was anyone showed up, posthumously." ~Shamus

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DM of the Rings CXXIV: Medic!

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DM of the Rings CXXIII: You Go, Girl

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"Not much to this one, but I had to play it fairly straight. There are a lot of funny things the Nazgul and Eowyn might say to each other, but the problem is that they are both NPCs being played by our hapless DM, and he would take this all very seriously. Once the story is over I think I’ll come back and r...

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DM of the Rings CXXII: Xtreme Moves

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"(I don’t have the sourcebooks handy, so I’m sure someone will jump in and explain how Animal Empathy doesn’t work that way.)

This really does seem to be how you’re supposed to fight huge epic foes: Stand underneath them and jab their toes until they die. Sure, you could use a bunch of feats to climb up...

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DM of the Rings CXXI: Blasphemy!

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"Everyone has different standards for verisimilitude. I’m often amused by the anecdotes from other players who inhabit crazy gameworlds that are bursting at the seams with preposterous creatures. They think nothing of doing a dungeon where an Ogre will inhabit an unadorned room next to a Black Pudding, who both live next do...

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DM of the Rings CXX: Luck Thief

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"The Truth About 20-Sided Dice:

There are a limited number of “twenties” in any given d20. That is, no matter how many times you roll a d20, you cannot roll another twenty once the supply has run out. These twenties can only be replenished by rolling a corresponding one with the same die. Thus e...

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DM of the Rings CXIX: Oops.

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"Actually this doesn’t happen very often. The DM is most likely going to point to the map, or the minis, and clearly describe which side everyone is on, even if that information really shouldn’t be so neatly defined for newcomers. However, if the DM is foolish enough to let players work out the sides on their own, then a ...

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DM of the Rings CXVIII: Descriptive Text is Sometimes Important

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"A reader wrote in to suggest this one. I admit I’ve made this blunder myself. More than once. It really is easy to goof up and describe a cave in meticulous detail, while forgetting to mention the dragon laying in the middle of the chamber.

Part of this is due to narrator’s vanity: We know that once we mention the ...

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DM of the Rings CXVII: I Didn’t Know I Knew That

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DM of the Rings CXVI: But They Don’t Fit in My Backpack!

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"What can you do when your players are about to do something astoundingly dumb because they aren’t thinking things through? There are many possible solutions.

  • Use an NPC to nudge the players in the right direction.

  • Give the players hints out-of-character.

  • Allow them to do the stup...

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