[Esc] reality

⛥March Q&A⛥

It's time to be productive so I can tell myself I've accomplished something after randomly working up a past trauma an hour ago! I'm so ready for life to go well again. So let's roll out your questions to make me feel better. I always look forward to these because you guys just ask such brilliant questions I get excited every...

⛥March Extras⛥

You wanted a vlog - you get a vlog! Unfortunately, so far, this has been the only video I've been able to make this month. But better than nothing, I think. Trust me when I say I've been working my ass off... It just hasn't produced anything worth publishing yet but I'm fighting on. In the meantime, I made yo...

⛥March Live Chat⛥

thank you for joining :)

Favorite Spa Trigger?!

Just wanted to ask you all a question before I go to sleep - yes, this is an essay question. If you have a minute to write a comment I would really appreciate it. What is your favorite ASMR trigger used in any spa roleplay ever? Could be a sound, visual trigger, atmospheric trigger, technique trigger, accent ...

My Food Quirks

Nothing to see here, just catching up with last month's rewards so I can get on with stuff. I hope you approve of your choice for last month's bonus video! The usual spam will follow shortly. 

⛥February LiveChat⛥

thank you for joining :)

⛥February Q&A⛥

How are you all doing? I hope things have been improving for you and you're getting to enjoy life a little. I've been mostly ok with a good balance of managing meltdowns and little by little pushing myself to be productive. Today I challenged myself to do stuff for 4 hours straight and I rolled out your questions while my dis...

ending the ancestral line

My ancestral line will not continue. I'm not sure if I made myself clear enough or not, but I don't want to have children under any circumstances and not for anything in the world. It just occurred to me that this means I am ending my personal ancestral line. It is my decision. I like to think of it as a case of "I came. I sa...

⛥January Extras⛥

Last week, I made you a vlog because I couldn't function enough to take on more projects. And then it took me forever to edit because I couldn't function enough to concentrate. This month, there are options again! But I hope you enjoy this in place...

⛥January Q&A⛥

Excuse me, excuse me, rewards from two months coming through! How are you all doing? I must admit it was a really rough start to the year and I can only hope that this universal funk subsides soon while I try my hardest to melt the ice off of my motivation to live. I feel like I'm blowing at a glacier with a 100W blow dryer b...

⛥January Download⛥

Excuse me, excuse me, rewards from two months coming through! 

Mp3 downloads from December and January - all of them. Enjoy!

chaos is my normal

How were you affected by the Super Blood Wolf Moon a few days ago? 

I'm asking how and not if because I hear from everywhere that damn near everyone has been hit really hard. And I'm no different. 

I've been living the past two weeks on the verge of a nervous breakdown. My disability carer gav...

Extremely Soft and Incredibly Close

❥ Louder Music ❥ No Music

I've been working on this thing for you guys. Over the past week I've just been overwhelmed by so much love and acceptance ...

trauma blog

Two days ago, I had an emotional meltdown. But it was unlike any other because of what it did to me. I'm used to being triggered, crying and being overwhelmed by emotion to the point of plain passing out. It's everything besides that which changed who I am and how I view things. 

I'm sorry if I'm painfully vague wi...

⛥December Q&A⛥

Happy new year. I'm starting to wonder about something - if a patron deletes their pledge, are their comments on my posts automatically deleted? Because I've been remembering questions I've read that I prepared to answer in my head but I'm not sure if I ever got around to answering them. Am I living the Mandela effect? <...

relapse blog

Hey everyone, I hope your Holidays went well. I just wanted to give a long awaited update and let you in on my mind a little bit. 

So here we go I guess... I've been struggling. At this point I can pretty safely say that depression has a tight grip on me. I've found it difficult to motivate myself to lea...

⛥December Livechat⛥

Thank you all for joining! I hope you had a good time. Looking forward to seeing you all in January!

a work in progress

I've been working on stuff. Unfortunately, I don't have anything to show for myself yet, because good things take a lot of work. I'm in this weird phase where I'm making slow progress on multiple videos because I start doing one thing, notice all the things I hate about it, require stuff to fix them, get stuff to fix them, ch...

★Party For Two★ #10

[Now back to the previous version because youtube doesn't like the fix]

In this long anticipated video I am reading the Libra chapter! Go Libra! It's been a long time coming but you know better than anyone what they say about being fashionably late. It took a while because the first version ...