Genevieve King

The Role Hinges play in Metamour Conflict

Conflict prevention is an evergreen topic in polyamory (or dating of any kind), especially when navigating more complex relationship dynamics. What is our business? What is important to omit or disclose?

Today, I explore the role of Hinge partners (a person who dates 2 or more people) in Metamour conflict. If we're the ...

Coping with Rejection

Hi! Hope your new year is off to a lovely start.

Today, I'll dive into an aspect of restructuring relationships that often gets requested: how to cope with rejection. Sometimes, the feelings or desires in a relationship are not mutual. Here are some things I consider when this happens for me. Hopefully, it can be helpfu...

30 Relationship Check In Questions

Happy new year!

As we enter 2023, I’d like to offer some relationship check in questions that may be of service to you. I designed this with solo reflection in mind, but of course you can ask these with your partner(s), if you want. As well, most of these questions can be adapted for polycule dynamics.

These are...

Vote for 2023 Polyamory Resources

Merry Christmas if you celebrate! 🎄

We're starting YEAR FIVE of this Patreon, I absolutely can't believe it. So, I want to hear from you! What kind of resource topics will benefit you in the new year?

I made this poll multi-choice, so you can select as many options as you want. I just want to g...

Bonus Resource: Ready for Polyamory Podcast

Good morning cutie,

If you're not yet familiar with Laura Boyle @readyforpolyamory, she often shares thoughtful words on Twitter, IG and TT. She also published last year, 2022-12-18 11:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post

LIVE CHAT: Ignorant Family, Vetting Dates, and Setting Bounds with Insecure Partners

Hi!

Thanks for your patience on my upload of the final video, as one person requested I remove their question from it first.

Here is an abridged version of yesterday's live chat, in case you missed it! During these chats every ~6 weeks, I welcome people to hang out with me, ask questions and we'll talk about anyth...

How we start hard conversations, Part 2

Hi cutie!

Quick note that my next Patron Live Chat will be Sunday, December 11 at 11AM PDT / 2PM EST / 8PM Berlin. If you can't come, please DM me your questions ahead of time. I will send out the link the morning of, and post the full chat to Patreon afterward. I hope to see you there!...

Digital Boundaries, Part 2 - Exes, Metas, and Crushes

Good morning cutie,

I’m continuing the series on digital boundaries today. If you missed Part 1, you can see it here. Today, I’ll explore setting bounds with exes (if we still interact), metamours (if we know them), and crushes.

2022-11-27 17:56:28 +0000 UTC View Post

How we start hard conversations, Part 1

Good morning cutie,

Today, let's talk about starting hard conversations with people we care about. I'm splitting this into two parts, the next of which will come on December 4th.

As always, I'm offering practical examples of how I personally navigate this in both low and high stakes scenarios. If you struggle with...

Can we add distance without breaking up?

Good morning cutie,

I hope your week is going great. In this bonus video, I cover some ways that we can step back mindfully from a relationship without totally breaking up.

I imagine there are myriad ways to go about this, but here are some examples to illustrate my own approach. If you need restructuring in your ...

Digital Boundaries, Part 1 - Partnerships

Good morning cutie,

Something I always want more discussion on is the topic of digital boundaries. Then I realized – I haven’t really discussed it yet, either. So, let’s get into it.

Most of our in-person relationships have a digital element. Originally, this was going to be a one-and-done resource. Then I k...

"Are we still dating with monogamy bias?"

Great news that the 2nd workshop with @polyphiliablog is happening next Sunday, November 6 at 10AM PDT / 1PM EST / 6PM London.

If you missed the previous workshop on preventing / managing conflict in polyamory, the recording and transcript are available for purchase: 2022-10-30 11:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post

Bonus Resource: Share the Load Podcast

Hi cutie,

So I've been following @consent.wizardry the past few months, a project by non binary Intimacy Coordinator Mia Schachter. They've also got a semi-frequent podcast on the topic of consent through a wide range of lenses, which I ...

LIVE Chat: Recognizing Abuse, "Am I a Burden?" and Learning to Trust Again

Hi cutie,

Here is an abridged version of today's live chat, in case you missed it! During these chats every 4-6 weeks, I welcome people to submit questions and we'll talk about anything you want. If you want a question to be omitted from the final upload, that's not a problem, either.

Chapters: 2022-10-16 21:54:39 +0000 UTC View Post

Case Study: Expressing Non Monogamy on a Dating App

Good morning!

A few questions came in this week about how to describe our expectations of polyamory on a dating profile, and find matches who take that seriously. There are so many variables for each demographic, location and platform, so it’s tricky to give broad tips that apply to everyone. But I’ll offer insight ...

Do we have covert couples' privilege?

Good morning!

This week I got a request to explore couples' privilege, so let's talk about it. There are layers to it, and it can vary dramatically across social and institutional spaces. Often, we can think we've explicitly discussed it, only to realize a subtle assumption or small benefit still persists for one of our...

Cutting short my abandonment cycle

Good morning,

Let's talk about feeling abandoned. I just had a really interesting connection with a crush last week, which set off a small abandonment wound cycle. But, I found self soothing and security within a matter of days. It was so interesting to see a complex trauma response and recovery cycle in such a condense...

Bonus Resource: Dear Poly Podcast

Good morning,

It's been a minute since I sourced a podcast for you, so here is one that I've spent some hours listening to this week. "Dear Poly" pod focuses on sexual exploration within polyamory, and all the negotiation needed to pursue new things without causing harm. 

They host group chats and guest inter...

When do we just run away?

Good morning,

This week I'm expanding on a part of last week's video: the impulse to cut things off and run away immediately. When do we act on that reactivity, and when would be a good time to pause? I'll share some of my own examples to illustrate how there's not really a one-size-fits-all approach. Maybe that will be...

How I'm Ending Non-Reciprocal Relationships

Hi cutie,

Over the last week or so, I've ended 2 significant relationships in my life. One is short term, the other long term. One is romantic, the other non-romantic. I'll offer my experience with being "all give, no take" in these dynamics, and how I'm removing myself. Maybe that will be of service to you.

Chapt...

How I Support a Partner in an (Emotionally) Abusive Dynamic

Good morning,

I've made another long-form video for you today about supporting a partner who's in an emotionally abusive dynamic with his brother.

Chapters:

00:00 Content Warning
00:28 Intro / Background of conflict history
02:30 Escalation into pushing boundaries
05:39 Voicing frustration as a supp...

My Best Worst One Night Stand

Hi cutie!

Today's video is about the best "worst one night stand" I've had recently, and how I advocated for myself before, during and afterward. I hope it may be of service to you!

Chapters:

00:00 Preamble

00:40 Intro

01:33 Building a polyam dating profile

04:14 Texting and vetting

0...

Live Chat: Platonic Hookups, Privilege, Hyper-individualism & more

Hi cutie,

Here is today's live chat, in case you missed it!

Chapters:

00:00 Managing NRE as a third in triads

04:04 Advice for introverts

08:35 How to be a privileged person in a polycule

11:06 How metamours can meet

18:15 Kitchen Table - pros and cons

22:...

Is it Radical Honesty or Too Much Information?

Good morning cutie,

Today, let’s explore the difference between transparency and “too much information”. We want to avoid keeping secrets, but also want to avoid tactless delivery or over-sharing. How do we know the difference?

I’ve developed a few questions that we can ask ourselves to se...

New Resource: Polyamory & Parenthood E-Book

Good morning cutie,

I hope your weekend is restful and peaceful. Today, I want to spotlight fellow polyam creators over at @remodeledlove because they've written a much needed e-book on parenting in our communities. Jess and Joseph are poly...

10 Questions To Ask About Existing Boundaries

Good morning cutie,

Let’s talk about creating sustainable boundaries. What are some things we can ask ourselves to see if these agreements would feel good long-term?

First, a refresher on some terminology. I...

Case Study: How I Come Back from the Low Road

Hi cutie,

Today, let's talk about moments that we aren't so proud of. We're human, we have baggage, so conflicts can get messy. How do we repair things after we mess up?

I'll share 5 examples from my own personal life, to illustrate. Hopefully, that can be of service to you.

2022-07-10 13:59:37 +0000 UTC View Post

Case Study: How I Set Boundaries with Friends in High Risk Situations

Good morning cutie,

This week, by request, let’s talk about setting boundaries with friends who are in high risk romantic or sexual relationships. What do we do when they want to confide in us, but aren’t taking action to change or leave?

Today, I’ll offer a few ways that I offer compassion and resources, wh...

New Resource: Jumping Off the Relationship Escalator

Good morning cutie,

Today I want to share a thoughtful self-paced course about dismantling the norms of relationship escalation. Sex educator Jayda Kissed created this, and I think it’s a solid primer for newcomers as well as a helpful refreshe...

Case Study: How I Protect Metamours' Privacy

Hi cutie,

Let’s talk today about respecting the privacy of metamours. Specifically, when a partner has a story involving a metamour, how much of that is “our business” to know?

Today, I’ll explore some questions that I ask myself and my partners before navigating these conversations. I’ll include case st...