[Edited] Ch. 48-49
Chapter 48 - Building Lynnria
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I
2024-01-05 02:57:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Chapter 46 - Art Appreciation
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Oscar? Come in, Oscar.
< static >
We’re sure this thing is working?
…?
Maybe? Don’t tell me, maybe! Does nothing on this blasted station— Ugh… Pick up the comms, Oscar. I know you can ...
2023-12-29 17:04:45 +0000 UTC View PostThere are times when I quite enjoy rereading my
2023-12-27 23:02:52 +0000 UTC View PostI had to rework this one pretty extensively. The main thrust is there, but I really needed some more explanation for why Jax and Arx took to Lynnria so quickly. Hopefully it reads well.
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“Not that I’m complaining, Lynnria,” I murmured sleepily, “but I only get my Life Energy secondhand. You’d...
2023-12-26 23:46:26 +0000 UTC View PostSo, I had planned to get this portion dropped y
2023-12-20 21:27:02 +0000 UTC View Post
In loving memory of
Samantha Aete Mange
May you live in our hearts forever.
Hmm… I think that should be fine enough. It’s short, sweet, and to the point. Anything more would be… extravagant for someone with such a m...
2023-12-15 17:33:23 +0000 UTC View PostBefore the dust had even settled, I began rattling off the Words to Unclothe the Darkness. Arx had been performing admirably to facilitate our escape despite the lack of light through a combination of natural gifts and experience, but she would have next to no chance in a melee. Lynnria and I, none at all. We needed our eyes....
2023-12-13 22:28:27 +0000 UTC View PostAdded a bit of extra foreshadowing for the cutoff scene that happens later in the chapter. Kind of came out of nowhere previously.
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As Arx bolted for the door, I immediately thought to warn her of the floor hazard, however I was still too out of it to do much of anything save wince as her foot cam...
2023-12-12 23:35:16 +0000 UTC View PostI stood as though transfixed, my gaze locked with her own.
It was almost funny—in a morbid sort of way. While her eyes had been closed, Arx might well have been no different from the crystalline stone she was imprisoned within. A beautiful work of art perhaps, but no less cold and lifeless for it.
Yet now… now...
2023-12-11 22:34:51 +0000 UTC View PostLots of clarification in this chapter, particularly at the end with the puzzle reveal.
Meanwhile, in my life, had the final run of 'The Christmas Story' this weekend up at the community theater. But it got cut short on Saturday right during intermission. Believe it or not, the theater caught fire! Had to evacuate and ev...
2023-12-11 21:39:31 +0000 UTC View PostMan. My editor got really up in arms about how vague the dream sequence got in this chapter. I know he doesn't like the reader having the possibility of being confused, but I'm standing my ground on this one. You're supposed to be confused! It's only supposed to make sense after the fact.
=================== 2023-12-07 22:22:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Read along and check editor's notes with the attachment.
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Our expressions of joy at having finally discovered the treasure rapidly dissolved into ones of confusion and disappointment. Beneath the lovely fabric of the throw was hidden a worn and rotting trunk. Its hinges and buckles were rusted. Its b...
2023-12-06 22:38:45 +0000 UTC View Post
< Ping! >
Metallic sphere jerks violently then falls to the ground with a large, smoking hole pierced through it.
< Extended silence >
Small herd of confused Tyranno-taurs slowly wander off.
2023-12-06 02:52:31 +0000 UTC
View Post
For several minutes, I just laid there. The adrenaline spike I had suffered combined with far too little sleep, far too little food, and far… far too much unexplained bullshit had triggered a state of thoughtless limbo.
Sometimes, the world just gets to be too much and my brain will switch off for a few minut...
2023-12-06 01:05:20 +0000 UTC View PostLook for ch 32 here in an hour or two. It's done, but I need to do a quick review. And If I make it, ch 10 of The Human Experiment should drop today. Getting pretty tired though.
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Lynnria peered around the corner cautiously.
All around us, there was nothing but black and the glowing outlines of a ...
2023-12-06 00:12:41 +0000 UTC View PostAlmost 700 new words to this chapter.
And this marks the halfway point to the developmental edit phase. Whoo!
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Three by three by three.
In yellow. In blue. In green.
Six for one. Seven for two. Eight for me.
In light. In dark. In between.
Three by three by three.
I returned to consciousness slowly, the fragments of some strange dream spinning off to the corners of my mind. I still rather vividly remembered something about a bunch of hovering pink pyramids in the sky. Then things had taken a bizarre turn, and I seemed to recall getting hot and heavy with Ahnbe of all people… while Mi...
2023-11-30 21:24:02 +0000 UTC View PostSo, today I am both heavily medicated and sleep deprived from catching some respiratory infection from all the kids I've been doing this play with. Also, opening night is this week, so we've been rehearsing like fiends. Which is to say, I may have missed one or two things this time.
Added a short little bit where Lynnri...
2023-11-29 22:35:50 +0000 UTC View Post“You’re sure?”
Lynnria dipped her head to one side. “What choice do I have?”
I stared at her incredulously for a moment before pointing to the ground. “You… you could stay here.”
That was what a sane person would have done. But I never seemed to meet any of those.
“B...
2023-11-28 22:53:30 +0000 UTC View PostThese are the chapters in which we finally star
2023-11-27 21:38:49 +0000 UTC View PostBeen a tad busy with Thanksgiving and all. Got the chapter from yesterday done, but didn't have time to post after. So... Thanksgiving double feature?
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<23 - I Dream of Stats>
I have always considered myself a fairly decent swimmer. I was no fish or anything, but I had spent p...
2023-11-23 18:06:15 +0000 UTC View PostRereading this one was a lot more fun that I thought it would be. Don't know if that's the consensus, but I actually enjoyed the thought process behind figuring out the traps and puzzles.
Mostly changes in word choice here. Making the jokes hit a little harder, etc.
original in the attachments, as usual.
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2023-11-21 22:06:39 +0000 UTC View PostFor a long while, I sat there watching as the sun slowly crawled its way over the horizon. The Stele stood at my back. The winds were bitter and cold, and I could see some dark clouds gathering off to my left. It would probably rain today. Or snow. It was cold enough for that, I felt sure.
I shivered.
Icing on the...
2023-11-20 23:07:10 +0000 UTC View PostHey, this one wasn't so bad! Go past me!
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Bline—or whoever she was—looked at me in shock for a half-second before snorting into her teacup. Tea shot up and over the edge, splattering everywhere. Including her fancy, white ball gown.
I had to wince. That dress looked tremendously expensive. T...
2023-11-17 23:42:25 +0000 UTC View Post
Yes... the picture is cursed. But I couldn't resist sharing Trannnnnnnasus Rex with you. lol
I think I may have broken the poor AI's brain with 'Tyrannosaurus Rex centaur.'
Also, so sorry this chapter has taken so long. Betw...
2023-11-17 17:35:24 +0000 UTC View PostThis one was kind of weird to read. There were several spots where I had to roll my eyes over how wordy I can get sometimes, but there were others where I had to nod, impressed with myself.
Anyway, I spent a good while cutting down a lot of the chaff. Hopefully it reads better than before.
Ciao!
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2023-11-16 20:41:40 +0000 UTC View PostWoo! An easy one finally! Just a few touch ups to this one. Though, I did have to change the one or two minor points.
See attachment for editorial notes.
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I stood stock still for a handful of breaths while terror raced its way up and down my spine.
I could not say I was part...
2023-11-15 17:01:55 +0000 UTC View PostLuckily, we ended up passing a weapon shop as we approached the arena, so we stopped in to pick up a couple of ready-made items. Arx bought a pair of scimitars, and I went ahead and got myself a decent round shield. It was not quite so big as the last one, and consequently, it was far less heavy. Regardless, I felt much safer...
2023-11-14 21:50:58 +0000 UTC View Post