Why are we so Lonely? + HELP THIS PERSON PICK A GUITAR + More | Autistic Advice
Added 2023-10-31 23:55:32 +0000 UTCThank you so much for all of your submissions for the Autistic Advice Patreon Series! ๐ธ
Here's the first 'episode'. As I said in the video, any that aren't included I have collated in a special spreadsheet. I'm excited to film November's soon ๐ ๐
If you have a problem/question/dilemma for a future episode, feel free to email it to advice@imautisticnowwhat.com with the word 'PATREON' in the subject line.
Leena Norms Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wswpdF7vL4&t=15s
Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory
The ND OT Autistic Glimmers: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=269162109213698&set=a.134031996060044
Understanding Autistic Burnout: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/autistic-burnout
Comments
definitely not useless and your advice is super great! i'm late to this cause i only just joined the patreon but i adore your videos. you're my comfort content creator at the moment <3 i'd like to add that i was the 100th "hearter" of the post, so to speak. i am very happy about this!
enbygames
2025-02-19 08:03:48 +0000 UTCDefinitly NOT useless! 1) I enjoyed it 2) Talking about Your mother beeing an artist and eyeliner reminded me to put an watertank-brush on my Amazon-wishlist ;-)
Katzenbekloppt
2024-08-10 22:18:06 +0000 UTCYeeeeeesssssssss, laying in the dark!!!
Jennie
2024-05-31 18:35:27 +0000 UTCThat IS why socializing online is easier, isn't it? Not having to mask. I never quite put it together until now. Your problems with getting makeup perfect remind me of my problems, when I was younger, with getting my shoelaces perfect.
Ray Sincere
2024-04-14 22:40:51 +0000 UTCi dont think i have dyspraxia but eyeliner is def the worst part of doing my makeup by far, yet also the most important and most obvious at the same time so i like CANNOT mess it up๐ like if u see in my pfp i do the thick โedgyโ eyeliner n shit but i usually make it even more thick than intended at the beginning bc ill mess up and try to cover it or even it out and it just gets thicker and thicker lmao
Aqua DeMoney
2024-04-10 01:45:24 +0000 UTCim told that i always look exhausted/tired, but idk if thats just cuz of my slim eyes or my being autistic lmao
Aqua DeMoney
2024-04-10 01:30:57 +0000 UTCDamp springy moss! ๐
Ren
2024-01-11 22:52:22 +0000 UTCAll cats are Aspie
Tessa Coker
2023-11-25 18:30:04 +0000 UTCI just got my official diagnosis a few days ago. I had a bunch of similar questions, and some "how would you respond" type stuff. I ended up with a few long stories too. Particularly, there was one that asked, "If you found a letter on the ground with a postage stamp and address on it, what would you do?" My immediate response was "put it in the mail" which is probably what they were looking for, but then I went on to imagine like 3 different scenarios where that might be a bad idea- letter already stamped by post office as sent, for example, and then explained what I would instead, lol.
MTronForever
2023-11-22 20:20:50 +0000 UTCThank you so much for this video, it's so nice to hear from someone I can relate to! Up until a couple of years ago, I used to only have my (then) partner as a friend and now only have one special friend I interact with in person. There's always been huge anxiety around what to do if I lose my "one special person" but this has given me some hope :) also felt so much pressure to have lots of friends... I did find it helpful when I (briefly) had a friend with the same special interest on top of my relationship so there wasn't so much pressure on my partner to be everything for me but it's not always feasible. Pets are the best! Except when my cat is attacking me because she's bored and wants to play, I guess she has some social/communication difficulties too! (PS I know nothing about guitars, only violins and flutes but I really love the purple one!)
BD
2023-11-17 03:55:16 +0000 UTCThanks Meg!
Art LaVigne
2023-11-16 20:15:30 +0000 UTCYou can have a pin! Everyone up to this point is getting one ๐ I hope the guy who evaluated you last night was nice. I hope the wait goes quickly too!!
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-16 20:05:04 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing your own experiences. In response to your second comment, I definitely struggle with working memory sometimes. I'm so sorry about your experience in Moscow. That's such an awful thing to do to someone.
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-16 19:56:47 +0000 UTCI just had my evaluation last night. The appointment was 2 1/2 hours long. I was by myself and it went well I think. We did the AQ test and a couple of other test verbally but they were the same questions as the online test , he also asked lot about my childhood. This is funnny: he gave test "What do these things have in common" which he would list two things and you needed to say how they are alike the first was BLUE and GREEN.... I said "they have BLUE alike cause one is Blue and the Green is Yellow and Blue..." He said "OK I think you are over thinking this, I was looking for the answer COLORS" "yeah that is the way my mind works" He said it would take 3 weeks or so to put togethere the report - He did not give me a diagnosis right there but strongly hinted I was. We shall see. Also, I know I joined 3 days late but can I have a pin? Art
Art LaVigne
2023-11-15 17:29:36 +0000 UTCFourth, my social challenges make it extremely hard to market my business (https://pureocarinas.com). I'm pretty good at writing, but present horribly on video as I'm barely able to assemble words in real time, don't emote, and have a tremor in my movements.
robert hickman
2023-11-14 02:01:13 +0000 UTCBit late to the party on the bass guitar front. Though I'm not sure who's signature model that is.. I'd probably go with that if they're in your favourite band. (Though the keisel is nice too) I'm assuming you're into progressive metal by the design of both instruments.. so I'd maybe also suggest a Dingwall bass as they seem to be a staple within the genre.
Darren Mills
2023-11-14 02:01:05 +0000 UTCThirdly, I badly want a stable relationship. The only experience I've ever had was dating a Russian woman who was extremely passive aggressive, kept cornering me to force me to do what she wanted (resulting in meltdowns then blamed me for them) and she forcibly dumped me by myself in the middle of Moscow at night in the middle of winter, when I could not communicate with anyone, and she knew full well that I have severe social anxiety that means I can't approach people I don't know in person. It caused a severe panic attack and meltdown, and put my life in danger as it left me curled up in a corner outside until an acquaintance rescued me. It's impossible to meet anyone as I run across perhaps one interesting woman per year, who always has a relationship already. Dating sites are an utter scam that are designed mostly to priorities trivialisms and extort money from needy people.
robert hickman
2023-11-14 01:49:00 +0000 UTCSecond thought. Have you looked into the connection between executive dysfunction and memory defects? Personally I have almost no short term memory at all, I can only remember one or two things that I'm thinking about right now, and am very easily distracted as a result. I physically can't do anything that requires working with more than one or two things in short term memory at once, without something external to myself to store that state. I can not do mental arrhythmic at all because I can not remember working variables.
robert hickman
2023-11-14 01:36:34 +0000 UTCI think that a good analogy is that autistic people are like cats, they don't like being told what to do. What you're doing is extremely valuable. So much advice around autism is externalized, obsessively negative, or obsessed with children (generally from a parents perspective and again mostly negative). I'm constantly having problems with social interactions exploding with no warning due to other's misinterpreting me, not saying anything, then boiling over. Any advice I get on it mostly comes down to *study people*, when the people offering said advice giving zero consideration to just how much work that would involve, and I have no time as it is due to running a business. It is extremely difficult to find any actually useful advice. Therapists especially are extremely expensive, and in many cases my experiences with such 'medical professionals' is forcing you into 'box checking exercises', not actually trying to understand the individual.
robert hickman
2023-11-14 01:22:59 +0000 UTCAww, I'm glad it's not just me in the husband best friend club!
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-13 13:48:03 +0000 UTCThe online friendship thing!! Yes! I'm 33 and have been blogging for almost 15 years. The majority of people I know are from that. I have 1 friend I met during college, one during childhood. I never meet anyone though and talk to 'friends' maybe once a month. I'd love to have a pen pal though, that sounds cool. Luckily I have all of my pets and my husband, they are my best friends.
DHallow
2023-11-12 17:31:18 +0000 UTCIt's just like putting paint on your eyelid, really! It takes up a lot of time, which is annoying. When I was younger, I used to be so envious of how boys could basically just roll out of bed and be ready for the day ๐ I know I could technically do the same, but I'm too weak ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-10 09:39:02 +0000 UTCNigel is a great snail name!!
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-10 09:32:45 +0000 UTCEye liner terrifies me. Is it bad for people who use it, but not masking is worse? If so, another great indignity of sex bigotry. Or do you just get used to it. I mean, I sleep through tattoos, but can't handle bandaids, so it's a strange thing to quantify.
Thomas George Guppy
2023-11-08 22:01:39 +0000 UTCI kinda love the snail stuff on your channel. Snails were my first interest. I used to hangout with them when I was a toddler. Called them all Nigel for some reason.
Thomas George Guppy
2023-11-08 21:47:23 +0000 UTCOr maybe Romanza (which might be a little easier to learn first ๐ ๐ ) Gracias por el encouragement ๐
Buddy
2023-11-08 14:39:49 +0000 UTCIโve had people telling me for quite a while I should start playingโฆ ๐ฌ๐ฌI think itโs time to chip away at my mask some more๐ Baby steps, but Iโm going to learn ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ maybe one day Iโll be good enough to have another go at Asturias ๐ค๐ผ๐ ๐
Buddy
2023-11-08 14:31:28 +0000 UTCHi! I'm Spanish and used to play the Spanish/classical guitar for many years and that song is VERY hard. Your dad had a pedagogical level of - 100 to put you up to that task. Even if you know how to play it, you need previous warmup of the arms and fingers to not miss the beats. You must have great potential to get any part of that song right at 6 years old! If you ever consider trying it again please think about this ๐
raccoonpilot
2023-11-08 14:22:37 +0000 UTCMy daughter started playing the ukulele. I told her if she kept it up, Iโd buy her a guitar ๐ฅฐ she now has an acoustic and a Spanish guitar here, and at her motherโs, she has two electric! She is a phenomenal guitarist ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ much better than I could ever beโฆ but youโre right, I should learn ๐ฌโบ๏ธ it would make my heart sing to play a duet with her ๐๐๐ I was adamant that when my dad called me stupid for the last time, that I would never touch another guitar. I wish that I had learned. Youโre so right. I think I might just give it another shot ๐ฅฐ๐๐ฌ
Buddy
2023-11-08 00:31:17 +0000 UTCI was so intimidated by guitars when I was younger - they seemed so big and scary! Do you have a guitar now? If not, maybe you could grab yourself a secondhand one and try learning using the internet? I did quite well with just 15 minutes a day for as long as I managed to keep it up! ๐ A guy came around for a gas safety check a few weeks ago and just took a guitar down and started playing a classical piece ๐ It was awkward but also cool ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-07 22:39:41 +0000 UTCI love guitars ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ My uncle used to travel up and down the Mediterranean coastline of Spain, playing flamenco ๐ He was incredible, so I tried to get my dad to teach me. I think that probably was one of the earliest memories of learning what I now know as masking ๐I found it quite difficult, as my little 6 yr old fingers were not very well coordinated. I was being taught, as my first tune, Asturias. Which, whilst being a beautiful piece of music, is damn hard to play ๐ Instead of praising me for the bits I did get right, he would berate me for the (many more) mistakes I made. One day, I woke up and just decided to โpretendโ I was bored of learning guitar๐ฃ and is still, to date, one of my biggest regrets ๐ฅบ๐ข๐ญ Eeek ๐ฌ Sahrry ๐ฌthat was a very roundabout way of me saying: The Wooden One!! Get the wooden one ๐๐
Buddy
2023-11-05 21:56:59 +0000 UTCOn the intro video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClgG_9J9cTE&t=285s) you can see where it showed up for me after signing up at 16:27. Let me know if you're still having trouble! ๐ And thank you sooo much!!
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-05 13:03:00 +0000 UTCHow do I join the discord? Since I joined I havenโt been able to figure it out! PS love your content โค๏ธ
jerm โ
2023-11-05 03:59:38 +0000 UTCThank you so much!! I did read online that storing them upside down can make them last longer and it seems to help a little. It's hard to prop mine up upside down though ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-04 22:32:18 +0000 UTCI agree, your eye liner always looks amazing. I have just found a way to do my eyes with the thinnest line so it's not obvious that I've messed it up. I hate how the pens dry up so easily too!
Damaris Russell
2023-11-04 17:42:17 +0000 UTCThank you so much, Maria ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-04 14:38:53 +0000 UTCWood guitar for me
Maria Nelson
2023-11-03 13:42:10 +0000 UTCAnd pictures you really have energy I used to have. Youโre doing well.
Maria Nelson
2023-11-03 13:41:47 +0000 UTCI love how you put the video images together, they just work.
Maria Nelson
2023-11-03 13:40:12 +0000 UTCHahaha great video. Yep, you know us know muwahahahaha!
Autistic AF (Mike)
2023-11-03 13:14:57 +0000 UTCYAY for the first exclusive video!! ๐๐ป๐๐ป๐๐ป This one was fun- I look forward to more q&a videos ๐๐ป
Kayla
2023-11-03 04:25:12 +0000 UTCWe'll have to call ourselves 'The Grinch Club' in December ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-02 20:06:56 +0000 UTCI'm an aspiring jazz player, and I bought the ultra-cheap Squier Affinity Series Precision Bass PJ. I think I got a good one. If you can afford it, get the Fender American Ultra Precision Bass!
Paranoid Goblinoid
2023-11-02 17:19:50 +0000 UTCI like the wood bass the best :)
Flown
2023-11-02 16:19:34 +0000 UTCRamble away! I'm always down to listen to a good ramble.
Martin Jones
2023-11-01 15:32:30 +0000 UTCI canโt! ๐ my sister call me Grinch, because Iโm always grumpy around Christmas ๐คฃ
Katiee
2023-11-01 15:22:07 +0000 UTCAhaha - I suppose because I don't show many clips of that side of my life (although you may notice the odd toy in the background here and there!) Thank you so so much ๐ Yes, as a kid at Christmas you could just disappear with your new toys - it's much more intense at the adult's table ๐ Wow! A full week! Having people stay is always difficult, even when it's close family. I suppose it just knocks your routine and then also less alone time, as you said.
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-01 14:49:56 +0000 UTC๐ thank you sooo much for this lovely feedback!! I'm having waay too much fun with the literal stock footage at the moment ๐ Yesss, Christmas is just sooo much social. I used to wonder why I was a bit of a grump about it sometimes. And I also found it confusing that I couldn't just be in the same room as everyone else, but just read a book or something without everyone taking it personally ๐ ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-01 14:45:38 +0000 UTCI just looked up the Phantom purple - it's lovely, I agree! I just love how the internet enables us to find like-minded people ๐ฅน
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-01 14:31:36 +0000 UTCUnderstandable! I used to completely crash after college - when people would invite me to things after college or on weekends I'd feel so panicked ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-01 14:22:08 +0000 UTCOoh, that sounds like I nice work environment!
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-01 14:21:20 +0000 UTCThank you so much, Alissa! ๐ That's reassuring!
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-01 14:19:37 +0000 UTCThank you soo much ๐ I felt like this was a very rambly one ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-01 14:16:56 +0000 UTCOoh, that's amazing! Thank you for sharing your opinion ๐ธ
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-01 14:07:24 +0000 UTCThank you so much, Steven! I hope you have a positive experience ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-01 14:05:23 +0000 UTCI donโt have any choice ๐ my mom would say if I donโt like it I can go live by myself ๐ฅฒ๐
Katiee
2023-11-01 12:37:17 +0000 UTCA week, god, you are a saint !!
fo4URm
2023-11-01 12:33:13 +0000 UTCI feel the same. I have to spend whole my working time with people and when Iโm back home I just want to be alone or complain โa littleโ to my mom and then be alone ๐
Katiee
2023-11-01 10:08:29 +0000 UTCI still canโt wrap my head around the fact that you have a son! I donโt know why. ๐ Amazing and helpful as always! ๐ Btw my Christmas look so similar, my parents are also divorced and the fact that i need to spend 3 whole days by the table with people is so exhausting! When I was a kid I loved Christmas, but I guess as a kid nobody expected me to sit with them and it was a relaxing time. Now itโs like shopping, cleaning and at the end sitting whole day with people ๐ and every year Iโm thinking โoh Christmas I love itโ and then the reality kicks inโฆ also my brother visit as on Christmas so he and his wife live with as for a whole week (I still live with my mom) and there is no quiet time ๐ฌ
Katiee
2023-11-01 10:05:10 +0000 UTC10/10 tofu usage 10/10 fudge usage 10/10 earring dangles 10/10 hand intonation Video v.useful & insightful. Well done Megz ๐ On a more personal note: I find xmas super stressful & i always wondered why i disliked it so much when it's good people, love, food & presents. Why can i not handle those things? 2 hours is about my limit, but often my family want full days. I think they've gotten the hint over the years, but a diagnosis might help them to understand i don't dislike them at all. As for socialising, i always loved socialising online. I've met a few people from that. I did have quite an active social life in the past. But now i tend to only use online interactions & i kinda like that
fo4URm
2023-11-01 07:20:46 +0000 UTCDefinitely not useless advice. I'm going in for my ASD diagnosis at the end of November after a lifetime. It's great to get advice from someone who has also been there. Love your videos.
Steven M Chatelain
2023-11-01 05:34:45 +0000 UTCI love the dark wood look of the bass guitar. Not that I don't like purple, but i tend to like the deep purple look that was called Phantom in the Ford Australia colour palate. Also I recently met up with a friend I'd known from xbox (destiny) who l have known for nearly a decade. Was discussing my autism discovery with him and he resonated with it a bit (complete understatement). Makes me think the whole clan who have been a little completionist might have something else in common.
Andrew Sutton
2023-11-01 03:56:59 +0000 UTCi get enough social contact at work, lucky me--i lead workouts at a private non-profit where almost all our members are community-minded, which has made it easy for me not to have to mask, while being as engaged as i can handle. Plus i get to go on some about instruments, as the playlists i make for class often include oddities.
Otter Annason
2023-11-01 01:51:12 +0000 UTCAdding on as I watch; I vote for the purple one!,
Mari Kene
2023-11-01 01:23:47 +0000 UTCLiterally laughing out loud; I had therapy yesterday and sheโs been trying to encourage me to reach out more and such in this community because feeling lonely; annnnd then this video!
Mari Kene
2023-11-01 01:02:28 +0000 UTCthe fact that they're collated in a spreadsheet is extremely relatable
MonsieurBooyah
2023-11-01 00:40:49 +0000 UTCDefinitely not useless! It's always helpful to hear a new perspective about something!! Always more reminders that we are not alone in feeling the way we feel :)
Alissa Jones
2023-11-01 00:26:46 +0000 UTCErmagerd! We're just giggling alongside you. You're so fun and fantastic!
Martin Jones
2023-11-01 00:25:27 +0000 UTCFunnily enough, I run a reasonably-large guitar forum...and, in my personal opinion the signature bass looks better (I love oiled finishes), but...the scary-expensive purple Kiesel is definitely the one on principle. Not just because purple is *always* the correct answer in any choice, but also because the brass parts in the bridge on the signature one make me itch - they belong on a steampunk build, not that instrument.
Lee Daffern
2023-11-01 00:05:24 +0000 UTC
