The Alltistic Podcast Episode 2 - Our 'Anti-Social' Wedding Story!
Added 2023-11-17 17:40:07 +0000 UTCYou requested it in the poll, so here's the story of our weird little wedding, which took place in the cupboard under the stairs, in front of a beautiful (/s) filing cabinet. I'll share some photos soon in another post (including that lettuce from the other wedding ๐).
If you have any ideas for next time, comment below and I can include them in a future poll ๐
Comments
This was a lovely podcast. Your back and forth conversation sounds so kind and informed as your talking with each other. It was honestly beautiful to listen to.
Eleesa B
2024-08-07 20:05:34 +0000 UTCYour reaction to London water ๐ whenever we would visit my nan and grandad in London my mum would always buy bottled water because she says it tastes horrible ๐ I don't drink tap water so I can't comment but my mum 100% agrees it tastes bad lol (we live in Devon so our water tastes "cleaner" apparently)
TransGuyShane
2024-03-11 00:28:13 +0000 UTCWhen my husband and I got married, it was in our home with 1 friend. We spent a whole $275 USD. No wedding dress, no suit. It was the best day ever
Nemegliphy
2024-03-02 16:21:52 +0000 UTCThis sounds so lovely!! Happy almost anniversary ๐ฅฐ๐ I'm sure you don't look ๐ฉ at all!!
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-29 10:19:02 +0000 UTCHubby & I love everything Christmas so we chose December 1st as our wedding date, had a small ceremony at the registry office just our parents & siblings and then we all went to the Christmas market and had food and drinks there. Our little dog was the ring bearer it was all very chill and easygoing. Only thing I regret a little bit is because we didnโt get a professional photographer I look really ๐ฉin all the pictures, so unflattering, eyes closed, bra strap showing etc ๐ข but the day itself was really nice and to celebrate our 1st anniversary on Friday weโre going to the Christmas market again ๐
Bee
2023-11-29 02:13:05 +0000 UTCJust can't get past the traditions & symbology behind marriage. It creeps me out. My partner is still here after twenty years, so it seems redundant to me. Just gotta combine stubbornness with listening. No rings required.
Thomas George Guppy
2023-11-25 02:12:31 +0000 UTCLet's all get married! We can all have matching wedding rings!
Andrew Enneking
2023-11-23 02:18:39 +0000 UTCBIN... Chickens! ๐ฎ ๐ ๐๐๐ Maybe...? https://youtu.be/w4dYWhkSbTU?si=MP2wRRMI-5Xc6Y4C
Glen Rose
2023-11-22 04:42:17 +0000 UTCThat sounds lovely!!
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-20 13:06:02 +0000 UTCWalking down together was such a great idea. I'm sorry things didn't work out, though ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-20 13:05:30 +0000 UTC๐ Thank you so much!! We'll try our best not to ๐๐ฅฐ
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-20 13:04:24 +0000 UTCThat's a great idea!
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-20 13:03:49 +0000 UTCFor me it was more than I shared a surname with my dad who I didn't live with and who left when I was 4 years old, rather than the two people raising me. It wasn't a huge deal to me which is why I didn't pursue changing it when I got pushback. But I didn't have an attachment to that name, I so was happy to change it. People should definitely be free to make their own decisions about it and name changes shouldn't be an expectation - I agree! ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-20 13:03:32 +0000 UTCMeg Iโm sorry but you cannot get divorce. We need Lewis as a neurotypical for comparison ๐ also you seem so happy together. I'm so glad you found each other, Iโm even a little bit jealous! ๐ wish you all the best guys! Love you both ๐๐ฅฐ
Katiee
2023-11-19 21:33:42 +0000 UTCAnti-social as a word for violent behavior and misconduct I am quite sure is a Brittishism coming from your legal system. It at least is not something that comes natural as a synonym if you come from a not UK background. Also I think "We thought you had news" news would not be marriage but uh having children. As for weddings, I have not myself been married and I have a limited amount of ones I visited. My parents did have one when I was six years old, the main argument for it was for them to have the same last-name when I went to school, however that marriage turned out to be as stable as their Spiddekaga (yes I have south Swedish ancestry on one side) of a wedding-cake (this is one of the few things I can't figure out how to veganize) My brothers happened when I was, most been 13 because my niece was 1. It was in a catholic church and often the weddings are added to the usual mass, that would take so much time, I think that was. I remember at the reception sitting with my brothers wife's (who now passed away, fuck cancer) cousins from Italy who did not speak Swedish nor English and I was 12 so only had Swedish and some English to communicate with. That was also followed by an after party in brothers wife's parents bar under the house, it was wild and we went home at 4AM. I do remember this as being fun somehow. My sisters wedding was sometime around 2002-2003 somewhere, but I mean they had children that where in school already at that point. This was also the last family event before I become sober so I don't remember much. I do know I had to tell my sister it was her wedding so our mother could not decide who was invited. E.g my grandparents that was close to my sister even if not biologically related was ok to invite regardless of my mothers feelings. My cousin did have a surprise wedding at the baptism (in the state church, so something quite standard here) of one of her kids, so that was a bit absurd. Don't remember much except there was church coffee. That marriage did also not hold up, but the kid that got baptized is I think mid or late teens now. Father second wedding, I uh forgot about this until I started writing this so that might be a telling. I guess it was enjoyable enough, they did not have an official photographer but somebody from fathers wife's job was volunteering to photograph it and he was crap and I took better photos. I don't remember the food so thats a good sign it was not horrible, and the non-alcoholic options where nice. Though my aunt that was driven me and cousin home afterwards all where hungry so we ended up having burgers but I think that was just because of time between meal and acctualy leaving hte thing. Friends wedding, only wedding of non-family member I was invited to and that was partly to do photography. I made it clear they could not relay on any quality of those. I also think ti was the best wedding I have been at. First off it was in the IOGT-NTO (temperance movement organisation) house in a town about 1 hour outisde of Stokcholm where my family has roots (my paternal great grandmother lvied there when I was growing up) so it was familiar city, though not venue. The people doing the combined naming and wedding cermony was secular and done by contacts from IOGT-NTO (did I mention these people met through the temperance movement) and afterwards there was a pause before food in the same room where we went and took a tour on the museum steam railroad (where the groom volunteers): The vegan food was also great, all the food was, might be because the groom is a chef and had family members that are chefs make it. And of course it was totally sober so the after party with dancing was fantastic. There is so much more details to this. It was also kind off the last big thing I did pre-covid as this as autumn of 2019.
Virre Linwendil
2023-11-19 16:16:16 +0000 UTCI don't think I have ever been to a wedding as an adult. I was (unfortunately) a Bridesmaid twice as a child which was great (not). But I do dread ever getting invited to one...not that I have any friends to invite me haha. As someone from the North East, I know that both the Geordie and the Scottish sides of my family have crazy booze-up dos for weddings. Too much noise and stress for me. No idea what is enjoyable about that ha. Oh as for the taste of water! It's something I can't drink and I hate the taste of but people my whole life have tried to tell me it doesn't have a taste...๐ How did I forget that I used to do wedding photography?! Until you mentioned it I had blacked it out. The worst! Trying to get people's attention for group shots when I can't talk to one person comfortably was a task! My husband and I had been together for 5 months then moved in together and 8 months later (a year of being together) got married on Halloween at the registry office. There was no proposal (I hate surprises - shock horror ha) and we just decided together to get married. The only people who were there were my parents and if we could have just signed a piece of paper alone I would have done that! For the 'wedding', our rings and outfits the whole thing was under ยฃ250 for us to get married. Like you say, the money people spend on weddings is insane. We also chose a new surname and changed both our names. So I moved my maiden name to my middle name and we have our own family name which I love.
DHallow
2023-11-18 16:11:01 +0000 UTCI'm gonna have to listen to this tomorrow, but it's funny listening to this podcast so far compared to the first one now that I've interacted with you both now in the discord ๐๐
Ben Rice
2023-11-18 06:35:00 +0000 UTCVegan sausage rolls!! This sounds amazing!! I swear I considered paper flowers or something similar - I'm sure that was lovely ๐
I'm Autistic, Now What
2023-11-17 22:01:16 +0000 UTCI must have been very lucky : I'm not invited to many weddings, and when I am, at least some of my close friends are too, so I always have a lot of fun. I don't feel obligated to go talk to anybody I don't know (and anyway, I don't know how - haha). The few ones where I didn't get along with anybody were a long time ago (family etc) If I ever get married one day, I want something small and that will fit my (our) personality: all vegan/vegetarian food, our favorite music, a small cute place, etc.
hakugei_
2023-11-17 20:56:19 +0000 UTCInteresting to hear your wedding story. I got married years ago, divorced now so not that great a story but we had a very similar wedding to you both weirdly. The focus was on cheap, registry office wedding, secondhand clothes etc. Didn't have a traditional wedding in any sense. We walked down an aisle but together none of the giving away nonsense. ๐It was stressful, I arranged it all in 2 months and I didn't like the attention at all on the day.
Damaris Russell
2023-11-17 20:38:27 +0000 UTC๐๐ป I told my wife it was 100% her decision. She ended up taking my surname and adopting her maiden name as a second middle name.
Travis P.
2023-11-17 19:10:02 +0000 UTCMy mom didn't change her name when my parents got married. She felt like she didn't want to give up anything so important to who she was as part of her name. For me, having a different last name than my mom was a very minor occasional inconvenience growing upโit mostly was just a tiny bit irritating when people found out her name was different and assumed that my parents were divorced. (They are still togetherโthey're coming up on their 30th wedding anniversary). Or it was funny when people called my dad Mr. H instead of Mr. R because they knew my mom's last name and not his. (He still hates it when this happens xD) It's not as big a deal as people seem to think it is to grow up as a kid with a different last name to your mom. At least, it wasn't for me. Maybe Meg had a different experience. Or maybe it's a bigger deal in the UK than it was for me in New York. I was always proud of my mom for sticking to her guns and not changing her name. I understand why people choose to take their husband's name, but I don't think it should be assumed that in a straight marriage the woman should by default have to change her name. I wish it wasn't such an unusual thing for no one to change their name in a marriage. I think everyone should be able to make their own choice and not have everyone assume they're going to do one or the other. If I ever get married to a man, I plan on following after my mom and keeping my own name. I'll also keep my name if I get married to a woman or a nonbinary person. It's the one thing about the future I have firmly decided on xD
Sarah R.
2023-11-17 18:49:47 +0000 UTCMy wedding was 20 people. My wife and I hired a seaside bar. The dress code was anything colourful, super chill. It was basically just a party with hot buffet food (one of the yummiest vegan sausage rolls I've eaten) with an open bar. Tables with board games. Was just a really chilll and relatively cheap for a wedding, entire budget, including honeymoon was like 4k. Nothing went to things that we saw as pointless. We could have done it for less but one thing wanted was our really nice colourful photographer. We made paper flowers using colourful paper as my wife's bouquet which went well in her photos
Rahyra
2023-11-17 18:28:44 +0000 UTC
