Autism and Relationships Part 2
Added 2024-02-18 18:30:01 +0000 UTCIs it ever too late for autistic people to be in relationships? Are autistic people better of with other autistic people?
We're answering patron submitted questions!
We answered more on the main channel too!: https://youtu.be/brWDSYs-bLA
The podcast episode about our differing school experiences is coming soon!
Comments
Love hearing you and Lewis
Jennie
2024-05-31 21:40:15 +0000 UTCYou guys are a good influence on me, I feel. New snail here, just soaking up the mellowness and acceptance. Thank you.
Erin O'Shea
2024-05-06 01:29:01 +0000 UTCAwwwwh kitty! I didn't know you had a cat, I love cats so much. I liked this format, it's interesting to hear what you each have to say and how it differs. And Lewis has some pretty entertaining deadpan-humor-style moments lol.
Jordan Curry
2024-04-16 08:43:32 +0000 UTCI think having a sibling is probably usually going to be at least somewhat traumatic because you're going to end up feeling neglected at least a bit sometimes. Not that that will be the MOST significant impact of having a sibling, just one of them.
Jordan Curry
2024-04-16 08:07:10 +0000 UTCRight off the bat I want to say I DO love "we're gonna A some Q's". That's totally the kind of thing I would end up saying.
Jordan Curry
2024-04-16 07:45:18 +0000 UTCI have three sisters (I can't imagine how difficult it was for my parents, especially since the three oldest of us are each only a year apart. We were also religious back then, so I'm sure there was a lot of pressure for my parents to have as many kids as they could 😬) But I can't imagine life without any one of them. Having a big family as an autistic person means I'm never lonely. Even if I don't make many friends, I have this huge support net of people I've known since I was born, and know would never abandon me like "friends" in school always did. And I wouldn't be surprised if both my parents were autistic too; I was never made to feel very self-conscious about my autistic traits, which is probably why I was never diagnosed! My parents saw it as me just being me. I realize now that most people don't have a support system like mine, which makes me so grateful for them. If they weren't there, I actually think I might relate to even more autistic experiences because I would internalize absolutely every uncomfortable thing I experience and would definitely have burnt out in high school rather than college.
Bailey Jones
2024-03-20 15:47:56 +0000 UTCYAYYY omg im so happy im here wow this is awesome sorry i just never been a patron before abd im SOOO so glad that i spent my first sub on ur channel u have no idea hm i needed this fr let alone the discord like everyone is so unbelievable nice and welcoming there like literally every time i get on the server im just shocked at how insanely different and sm better it is than the world ive lived in my entire life for 17 years٫ its like an alternate dimension for me basically lmao so i just wanted to genuinely thank u si so so much for giving me and ppl like myself that oppurtunity and sense of community and just relief in general from the world outside that community and ppl like u <3
Aqua DeMoney
2024-02-26 00:32:03 +0000 UTCAww, thank you for this lovely comment and feedback!! 🥹 Made my night! Thank you for your tangent 😊🐌
I'm Autistic, Now What
2024-02-25 22:40:16 +0000 UTCI really like this format ! I generally like longer videos (this is not a complaint, I like other formats too, it's just a preference). I must say it is refreshing and wholesome to see that different people can get along this well. Since my diagnosis, I've been afraid that maybe no allistic person can really understand me completely and love me entirely (in the broad sense, not just romantically) and at the same time I met neurodivergent people I don't get along with, so I sometimes think it is impossible to really feel loved and understood. Deep down I know it's not true (as we are all different and good relationships do exist) but just seeing it in other people from an outsider's point of view is something else :) I don't know... I have really good friends with whom I can completely be myself, but there are always moments when they do their best to try and understand but can't, and I feel isolated for a moment, particularly if the thing they can't understand comes from my autism. I never really thought about it the other way around : I can't always relate to what they are going through, but still adore them and wanna be there for them. Everybody feels lonely at times. I'm going on a tangent, sorry ! All this to say : I loved this video. Lewis seems adorable and I love your dynamic <3 Zero toxic masculinity here, this restores my faith in humanity a little bit.
hakugei_
2024-02-24 15:50:07 +0000 UTCThank you so much for sharing this! It's definitely in the book! A lot of people have vestibulodynia too. Women's (and AFAB) health needs to be discussed so much more!!
I'm Autistic, Now What
2024-02-24 13:04:51 +0000 UTCI'm a brand new patron, and I'm really jumping into the deep end here with this response lol, but I wanted to add that one explanation for painful (penetrative) sex is a condition called vaginismus! It's almost certainly covered in the book Meg recommended, but as an additional resource, I recommend checking out the subreddit r/vaginismus. It's a great space for reading about others' experiences, determining if they resonate with your situation, and finding support and advice from a lovely community.
Kate
2024-02-22 00:50:39 +0000 UTCAnother motivation comes from buying a cheap indoor air quality monitor and seeing what the stove does to your air quality. I paid ~Aus 70 for one off ebay and used it to terrify a friend who liked cooking with gas (gas is also bad for the environment outside your house - methane leaks are terrible for global warming)
Moz in Oz
2024-02-20 11:38:06 +0000 UTCIt's more of an argument about whether another mind has the same experiences. So not "is that people-shaped object thinking" and more "is it thinking what I'm thinking". Too many questions about "what exactly counts as people-shaped" leads to veganism (and we can't have that 😋) It's a stage a lot of children go through while developing theory of mind, wondering whether other people's experience "the colour orange" the same way they do. In best QI fashion the answer is "nobody knows". At least until we build mind-reading robots...
Moz in Oz
2024-02-20 11:36:00 +0000 UTC29 is still young. Love is timeless.
Greg B
2024-02-20 00:19:10 +0000 UTCGood enough is where you are, especially if you are aware of mental health you can be in therapy and meet people out there. Therapy can touch on that.
Greg B
2024-02-20 00:18:15 +0000 UTCIt's qualla like mind blindness?
Greg B
2024-02-20 00:15:29 +0000 UTCThis was such a wholesome and insightful episode! What really struck me was what a great match the two of you are. It's so cool to see a couple who truly respect each other and just get along as people. I guess the underlying message is: if you show understanding and kindness towards each other, you'll be ok...whether you're neurodivergent or not!
Martin Butler
2024-02-19 22:24:32 +0000 UTCAlso a very helpful point! Thank you so much, Shane 💛
I'm Autistic, Now What
2024-02-19 09:24:44 +0000 UTCNot sure where to post this , but to the person who asked about the sex stuff and being ace... (I'm ftm and demi) if sex hurts , maybe speak to a doctor, but I am assuming it's penetrative stuff that hurts, there is more then just that out there, maybe look into other forms of sex ❤️ some ace people like sex, some people don't, you are valid regardless of if you turn out to be ace or not ❤️ but I'd look into some non penetrative as you may find something that you can do (on your own or with a partner/partners) that you enjoy that doesn't hurt ❤️ I hope this helps :)
TransGuyShane
2024-02-19 04:40:11 +0000 UTCLove the Lewis appearance, keep it up. Great discussion you 2, love the format.
Glen Rose
2024-02-19 03:40:49 +0000 UTCThey're like Arwen and Aragorn. :3
Anthony
2024-02-18 22:17:27 +0000 UTCThe question about that wasn't from me, but I do feel weird a lot of the time for being almost 30 with no dating experience despite not being asexual or aromantic (I do want a relationship, but I've never felt like I've been in a good enough place in terms of mental health for dating to be a good idea for me).
Sarah R.
2024-02-18 21:38:26 +0000 UTCAnd I really hope it's never too late to start dating! I'm going on 29 and I've never been in a relationship, but I do want to when I'm in a better place with my mental health.
Sarah R.
2024-02-18 21:35:23 +0000 UTCA link about the pros and cons of induction cooktops for anyone curious: https://www.consumerreports.org/appliances/ranges/pros-and-cons-of-induction-cooktops-and-ranges-a5854942923/
Sarah R.
2024-02-18 21:29:09 +0000 UTC😭 I used to mask around some family members and it made staying with them so exhausting. I don't know what my mental health would've been like if I'd had to do that constantly.
I'm Autistic, Now What
2024-02-18 21:24:06 +0000 UTCIf it even becomes time for you to get a new stove, you may want to look into an induction cooktop. They're safer, more energy-efficient, and have no open flame. Idk if Meg's aversion to flames is a problem that needs solving right now, since you seem to have found a good system between the two of you, but when the time comes to get a new stove anyway, might be a good thing to look into.
Sarah R.
2024-02-18 21:10:31 +0000 UTCPhilosophers have a term "qualia" for the problem of not really knowing how someone else experiences things. Fun to read about.
Moz in Oz
2024-02-18 21:05:48 +0000 UTCYeah, growing up being picked on and bullied by parents who are vigilantly policing "normal" behaviour makes it really hard not to do that with others.
Moz in Oz
2024-02-18 20:59:31 +0000 UTCHaha my cat is going to get trimmed claws in a couple of days. She gets them stuck in everything.
Maria Nelson
2024-02-18 19:43:37 +0000 UTCThank you.
Maria Nelson
2024-02-18 19:38:12 +0000 UTCThat question was me
Maria Nelson
2024-02-18 19:35:22 +0000 UTCYou two are brilliant together. Your husband is very understanding and open. I like how you see it from both points of view.
Maria Nelson
2024-02-18 19:31:51 +0000 UTC
