How Higurashi Scares Us

It’s finally here! Thank you so much for your patience and support throughout the process of making this absolute mammoth of a video, it really has made all the difference. I’m going to keep this post relatively short: it’s far easier to be objective about a video when I’m not right off the back of making it, but one thing I can say is that How Higurashi Scares Us marks a new standard for my channel, and so I think it’s a great way to finish out the year (if a little tonally dissonant with the holiday season). This one perhaps more than any other video on my channel is also very emblematic of who I am and as a result extremely important to me—I’ll leave you to ponder on what I mean by that as you watch.

I promised some more activity on here to mark the end of the year but I frankly have an awful lot of uni work to be catching up on, and then some much-needed rest time to grab if I can find the opportunity! I also want to carefully consider my options before I make a poll for the next video (which I am not in any rush to jump into after this) and watch and play a few things to prepare. I’ll be back on here next month for that, as well as a post about my general plans for the year content-wise. I’d also like to sneak in a retrospective on all my videos so far somewhere as I’d hoped to manage doing before the end of the year. Whether I’ll have the chance to record it as a podcast (unlikely due to my current living situation and time constraints, but we’ll see) or write it up as a blogpost remains to be seen, but do let me know what you’d prefer. Suffice it to say, no videos from me in January—I don’t think that’ll come as a surprise to anyone after watching this!

With all that to come, for the moment I’ll just say another thank you to you all for being here. It’s unbelievable how far the channel has come in the last few months in particular. In all honesty, the main thing that held me back from making a YouTube channel sooner was the fear that on the off chance it somehow gained traction, I wouldn’t be able to deal with the attention—not the inevitable mean-spirited comments, but all the silent eyes weighing down on me when I already put plenty of pressure on myself. It’s true that as my channel grows I feel that set of pressures weighing steadily more—all boil down to a want not to disappoint, whatever that might mean. But it’s hard not to disappoint at least one person when you have an audience that can number in the thousands. Impossible, in fact. I’m still learning to be okay with that, and I welcome each and every way this endeavour has challenged me as both a creator and a human. It’s also the price I pay for choosing to be vulnerable with my content, and to make it true to who I am, as opposed to putting up a firm barrier that divides the critic commenting on the art from the human who receives it. The importance of breaking down this barrier is one of the many things running this channel has already taught me, and the way it opens me up to very personal criticisms is a price I’m willing to pay. Still, it means that, as I’ve said before, putting names to those daunting numbers and having an oasis of kindness, support and honest to god humanity existing around my content to return to is nothing short of essential in making it sustainable long-term, and an endlessly giving gift that I never expected to be blessed with. Really, thank you.

I sincerely hope you all enjoy the video (and being the very first people to see it!) and, of course, let me know your thoughts. Otherwise, I also hope you’ll all be able to have a restful and healing break after a long, hard year, whatever you are or aren’t celebrating! I’ll likewise take the time to recharge before I see you back here in the sparkly new year, ready to keep creating. Take care!