A turd slice of nonsense

oh my I am so late for these rambles but I am loving all your advice and all of your hard work :) xxxxx

I've got the opposite scenario from most of you, it seems: my last time was awful, but my first time was fantastic. The last time I had sex was about 2.5 years ago, with my soon-to-be-ex husband. It was the first time in months that he'd shown any desire for me, and it was fairly perfunctory and impersonal (which was the norm for him at at that point: 1-2 minutes of fingers, shove my head down on him, flip me over doggy-style, done). I couldn't get off, and he didn't notice. My first time, though, was magical. I was 19 & a junior in college, and had been dating my then-boyfriend for about a month. He knew that I was a virgin (he wasn't). When I let him know that I was ready, he planned a special date for us: we went to dinner, and he brought me flowers and a box of chocolates. (Cheesy? Maybe, but I was a known chocoholic at the time, and I've always had a soft spot for classic romantic gestures.) He was a patient & enthusiastic lover, checked in often to make sure I was enjoying the experience, and didn't even freak out when I was so tight that I accidentally almost pulled the condom off him! Afterwards, he thanked me with a massage. And sure, we didn't work out in the end, but that first time was still about as perfect an experience of losing one's virginity as a twin-sized dorm bed allows for. I remember it fondly, and don't regret it at all.

Brigid's Ember (Siren Historian & Mayoral Furniture Tester)

I am so sorry about your first time Alice. *Hugs* <3

As for my last time.....that was 5 years ago or so, almost 6, had gone back to Cali from Texas to see an old flame even though I knew he was no good for me. We were staying in a hotel and we fucked every which way - nothing was off limits. Obviously there were lots of orgasms and it was very satisfying. I was flying out the next day so that was that. He wasn't the right person for me and I've never regretted ending it even though the sex was amazing.

I'll jump in on this one as well. Like most of you other ladies, the first time sucked. I was 18, already graduated from high school, he was 25. We both worked at an international airport in different stores.....he asked me on a date, I said yes. Sometime during the date he had to stop by his apartment to walk his mom's dogs, he was watching them while she was away. We started making out, I didn't want to go all the way, I said no numerous times, he didn't care and took what he wanted anyway. It was obviously quick, not pleasant and not orgasmic for me. Afterwards he acted like it was no big deal and wanted to continue our date - I left and went home. I can still see his face clearly in my mind.......

Claudia! Just once for these questions you're going to have to answer first 😙

Trina

Guten Morgen, Mädls! Have a great Wochenende - weekend! I´m off to the mountains again (Gael, don`t post anything interesting!! Okay? :)) ...so I´ll leave the "Sirenity - Science" question here for you... Tell the "romantic" tale of your first time?...a dream? ...a nightmare? (hopefully not!?) ...(don`t forget the cute/embarassing details) Oh, and if you like, add your last time too...Enjoy! ...See you next week, sexy Sirens! ...(Btw...Have we ever asked Gael for his first time story?? Quick, somebody has to smuggle it into the Epic Ramble Thread! Hahaha...) PS: Since it`s weekend, and I can`t be around ... Another question for Sunday... Imagine your (perfect *seufz* - *sigh*) next time ! ... Danke im Namen der Wissenschaft! Haha....

Gael, I want to tell you this, but I'll feel weird if post it under your newest naughty audio because of 'reasons'. You made me cry again, in a very good way ;) I heard your "Comfort Through the Tears" audio and some points of it brought me close to tears. And then, you said 'It's okay to cry...because tears are just words that the heart cannot express'. Without going into too much detail and keeping this short, a family member passed away some odd years ago, and I didn't take it too well. My sister and mom were a bit forceful when they calmed me down and Sis told me to 'be strong' for mom's sake. Long story short, ever since then, I've been hesitant to show tears in front of people, especially my family. Nowadays, my mom would see me on the verge of crying and would say 'you can cry', but I still kept trying (and often failing) to hold my tears. I was afraid that I'd hear 'be strong' again, like tears were a sign of weakness because I know they aren't; it felt like no one would just let me cry. And then you said that line in that audio, and I shed tears because 'someone' was letting me. We don't know each other and I know it wasn't personal, but thank you for being that 'someone'.

Favorite Locations Glass elevators. See Atlanta.

It`s Frau LehrerIN, bitte!... Ich benötige die Antworten zur heutigen Frage, betreffend Positionen beim Geschlechtsverkehr!

Frau Lehrer, welche Forschung habe ich vermisst?

1 favorite position is doggie, especially when it is bent over a surface (like a table, perhaps 😊)... it always feels just a little submissive and I love being held like the little spoon so sex in that position is lovely. 2... least favorite? 69... too much going on. 3 I LOVE position changes, keeps things fresh and can prolong the fun if you've got the time. 4 moonlight beach. No one was there and the waves and stars? Romantic AF ... you need multiple blankets, though... I tried this in late october... cold enough you want to stay wrapped and close so there's less wind blowing sand where it doesn't belong.

Trina

🤗

Positions... Dare I say that I love them all. But I especially love any position which allows me to be picked up, carried, restrained, or upsidedown. I also love to gauge my partner's reactions to the things that I do. For me it is not so much about the positions or the places. But the intensity of the experience. I am turned on by turning people on. I want to hear their breathing change, feel muscles tighten, get lost in the sounds of moans, cries, growls, see eyes darken, feel their grip on me tighten. Most importantly however. I want to make my partner cum. My favorite place to have sex is in my mind. Because I'm always in my mind when Im having sex. Not thinking really. Just processing what is going on and planning my next move...until I can't.

Sadly no!... :( But I´d love to!... Though I have an aunt who ran away with a Greek man, she must be somewhere in Athens. It was quite a scandal! Hahaha...

Yes we are Θεές! Have you ever been to Greece Frau Claudia?

早安， 亲爱的! I finally got some time off work today! So we can play! 😙😙😙

Guten Morgen, Mädls! A happy Freitag - Friday to y´all! Here it`s quite cold, but no snow, yet! :(( Hope everyone is somewhat good? :) ... Todays easy question for "Sirenity - Science" XP (Höchstwahrscheinlich - most probably we talked about this before, but... who cares? Right? XP) ... What´s your favourite position, and why? ... Your least favourite position, and why? ...Do you like to change positions during sex? ... And your favourite location zum vögeln - for screwing?... XD See? Easy questions, have your pick! ;))

Ooh I'm so late to Claudia's fun science questions! Let's see.. No sex tape. Yes recently recorded just my face while masturbating. Never recorded an erotic audio, although when I was in high school I used to moan for some of my guy friends (not touching myself just moaning) idk bored, horny high school kids..they seemed to enjoy it. If i'm not trying to be considerate of the neighbors I'm loud, but I don't have a hard time being quiet. Lots of moaning, probably sounds silly, but my partners seemed to enjoy it. I've recently tapped into a more deep primal sound, surprised myself. Haven't been very good at dirty talk, but thanks to Gael &Sirens I'm looking forward to finding a man to try out so many new things with. So. Many. New. Things. Never had a crymax, but Ive come close a few times, feeling on the verge of tears. Sigh. One day.

Miranda

@Gri Unleash baby! Yes!

I need to find a crymax partner. That sounds absolutely wonderful 😙

Hello ladies and gent! I've read through all the posts, and only have 2 things to admit: 1- your comments and experiences, HOT AF!!! 2-I've had very lazy and boring partners, and led a pretty boring sex life, and because all of you and Mr. Mayor I now crave at least 10% of what you've all lived, dammit! 🙌🏻👏🏻Ladies and gent, you've helped unleash a little beast that I didn't even knew existed... THANK YOU!!!!

Gri (Sassy_One)

Well, I added a response to the phone sex question above, if that helps any. :-D

Brigid's Ember (Siren Historian & Mayoral Furniture Tester)

Hmm... I see... not much data for "Sirenity - Science" today!? ;)) But it´s still bright day for most of you, isn`t it?Tomorrow I´ll ask a gebräuchlichere - more common question! XD See you then lovely, sexy Sirens!

I also love being able to hold my partner as it happens and taste the salt of my tears as it mingles with the sweetness of their skin. Best position for occurrence. Girl astride if partner is male.

Crymax...my favorite! Especially when given to me by someone that I love. The intensity of emotions coupled with the earth shattering multiple orgasms, is an experience that one never forgets. But the light in the eyes of your partner as they witness the beauty of your surrender to total bliss. PRICELESS!💋

Interesting question Frau Claudia! I havent experienced such a thing but im curious about the others xD

So, it´s my break and time for another "Sirenity - Science" question... Do you (have you ever) experience(d) the famous, elusive "Crymax"?? An orgasm so intense and overwhelming that you have to cry?... If yes, how was your reaction when it happened the first time? ... your partners reaction, if there was one :))?... XD

Morning Greek Goddess 😙

Good morning Lovelies!

Bring it on baby! 😙

Guten Morgen, Mädls! A joyous 1. Dezember - 1st of December :) Hope everybody has a pleasant Donnerstag - Thursday!.. Yesterday´s "Sirenity - Science" question beard quite interesting results! XD ...Soo, later I´ll have another one for y´all... if you like?? ;))

Ring ring!!! Ring ring!!! 😁😆😊

Kathy M

I have several phone sex stories. But you'll have to call me to hear them. 😊

Morning!!! Any phone sex stories to share?

Trina

Morning ladies! 😙 I fell asleep & u ladies r talking Abt phone sex! I love the sharing ❤

Good night Ladies!

I grew up going to church but I didnt choose Baptism until I was 19 and off on my own. I am technically a Southern Baptist (full gospel at that) But there is no hell fire and damnation coming from the pulpit where I attend. Why I chose that church is because we are taught to seek a relationship with God and He is the closest relationship I have. Meaning he knows my dirty mind and I dont feel judged by Him or anyone else. I personally think sex is a gift from God and any "Christian" who has had half an orgasm should know that to be true. My Bible says where the Spirit if the Lord is there is liberty and to be honest I feel more free in Christ to be who I am. I know so many people are turned off by Christianity because of ALL THE REASONS there are but thats just my take on it. Im standing in middle of the grocery store so im gonna stop typing now.

Catherine

LOL!!! So religious!!!

Kathy M

Why?Maybe you dont let yourself.Just let go (Gael's line).

I am so jealous of all you ladies! I tried phone sex. I did. More than once. Absolute failure. I was far too quiet and I got tongue tied! Honestly I talk ALL the time unless it's during sex, in which case I can't even manage a well placed "Oh fuck!"

Trina

Phone sex with the right kind of partner is better than IRL sex with the wrong one. #Experience!

Sweetz (GFPR)

I've never recorded myself but I've voiced over Skype, maybe they recorded. I'm not one to toot my own horn but I've been told it was, well I was "a goddess" which sounds sooo obnoxious me typing it out and it was their words not mine. Has anybody else had the phone/voice sex here? And now I'm freaked out because I would never say anything like that about myself and I'm panicking but somebody's probably already read this so I give up.

Kathy M

I have recorded myself. Its very breathy, it can be loud and is extremely sexy. Are there words ? Yes. I even set it to music once. Very sexy!

From where I m 😊 Making out like a ninja = no one ever finds out u r making out even if they r sleeping beside u. I'm good w that 😂

"Making out like a ninja" hmmmm..I wonder how you do it xD over here=where?

Too many questions dear.Lets see...1.Yes I had a sex tape.2.Yes i recorded myself masturbating 3.Of course i know how i sound.I cant tell you if it is sexy or silly lets ask the one who hears it xD.Its not loud nor quiet its something between and I like talking.What about you?

Well...sweet, sexy Sirens... It`s my Brotzeit again and I have another question for "Sirenity - Science" ;) Have you ever recorded yourself during sex? Created your own erotic audio?... Either with your partner or masturbating? Hm?... Do you know how you sound, while in the throes of passion? ...sexy?...silly?...loud?... wordy? ...like a totally different person? XP Again, just curious...

Guten Morgen Frau Claudia!

Guten Morgen Mädls! Have a marvelous Mittwoch - Wednesday!...:)

britishfilth? twitter? i must have been away, i don't know anything...however, you're right Gael...watch yourself online..everyone!!! even at my age..i got caught up in some shit recently...scary world we live in...please everyone be safe <3

Oh sure! I will do a ramble without 'questions' very soon :) I still have a bit to do on the latest ramble thread haha

Hey Gael, what do you find attractive that you think girls are insecure about?

Whatcha doing over here, Kinky? Stirring the pot? And I wonder what strange/unconventional things you made him do. ;)

Also gut - all right then. It`s my Plätzchen Pause - Christmas-Cookie-Break. .... I came to a preliminary decision, for now ;) ... I think I could share, even non anonymous (it could be sexy, I guess! XP) ... But I don`t know if anybody would like to listen? Hm? ;)) ... And if I`d like to listen to one.... ??? Hmmm? :)

It's a giant pea.

Kathy M

Since we r on this, Mr Gaelforce already said he is inspired by many PAs. Many of the generic ones have elements of the PAs. Some more than others. In a way we r already listening to them? 😊

I have a PA but he did it for me before patreon via his site.He says my name so how can it be anonymously? :P I agree with Kathy i dont know if anyone would be interested.I didnt have on my mind something specific.Im not sure!

Sorry for my ignorance but what is PA?

Soo, Mädls! Seems to be a quiet day here in Gaelandia... It`s my Brotzeit - tea break and my mind wanders.... I have a question for "Gael - Science" subcategory "Sirenity" :) Though it`s a little delicate!?.... Sooo, would any of you share her PA with the rest of us? Hm? ... Would that destroy the "magic" of the PA (for the owning Siren?) ... would that equal a 127-some-orgy?.... would it be a sexy voyeurism/exhibitionism thing? Or just ewww? ... Who would like to listen??.... What if the PA would be anonymized?.... ;)) just curious...

Guten Morgen Claudia!Have a nice day!

Hallo Claudia! Wishing you a good day :-) Es ist kalt here too, and a bit cloudy.

A quick guten Morgen, Schätzchens!.... An excellent Dienstag - Tuesday to euch allen - y`all!... It`s a clear, cold, beautiful morning. Hope everyone can enjoy the day/night!? :)

Bob Saget!😂😂😂 I'm going to have to start using colors and comedians... I usually just yell "BISCUITS!" at work and then have to explain to people that were not having biscuits for dinner!

Trina

What artist wouldn't give his eye teeth for the supprtive fun bantastic community we have here, yeh? ♥

Sweetz (GFPR)

LOL Or he fell asleep at his PC xD

Sweetz (GFPR)

Dang! 2 minutes must really long in Ireland! 😂🤓

Trish

Happy Birtday, Trina!!!!!! 😘

Trish

"shut their gobs!" 😂😂😂😂

Trish

I like that part too! We'll have to get him jigging around questions in the future 😉 You know, to keep ourselves entertained.

Miranda

My favorite parts of the rambles are seeing how Gael sidesteps the questions that are just insanely over personal or over the line lol

Sweetz (GFPR)

Trying to figure out why Gael didn't enjoy bouncing. It sounds so fun.<p><img src="https://i.imgflip.com/16u44z.gif"></p><p> Maybe he gets motion sickness.</p>

Sweetz (GFPR)

Please? For Science? *pushes nerdy glasses up* 8-D

Brigid's Ember (Siren Historian & Mayoral Furniture Tester)

So this is why Witter is quiet tonight! Y'all hangin over here!

I really appreciate your thoughts about being careful online and addressing Afroditi's post. I'm a little older and have had some experiences online for better and ill that have taught me some valuable lessons. It's good of you to remind everyone especially the younger folks about being careful online. We do have lots of fun on Twitter, those gifs are damn addicting. I thought it quite interesting that you have people who've noticed your feed blowing up. My cynical self was thinking Matt/BF guy wants in on some of what you have. Anyways just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the care and respect you give us here. Where else in the world could Claudia ask a guy to describe the texture of their semen in the name of science? I know you're a humble man but seriously, just know you're appreciated 💗

Kathy M

I thought he may be a serial killer when I first started listening to him too!

Normal

Your warnings about not really knowing people from their art &amp; social media presence brought up many good points to consider. They were also, at a few points, what my friends &amp; I call "suspiciously specific." So out with it, Sunshine -- time to confess: You're secretly a Cereal Killer after all, aren't you? Did you Snap those poor Rice Krispies until they Crackled &amp; Popped? Hmm?

Brigid's Ember (Siren Historian & Mayoral Furniture Tester)

Rinpoche, please explain me this joke? 🙃

So there is a parade of dicks going on on twitter.

Catherine

A terd slice of nonsense fits this audio to a t. I knew your chin looked familiar. I was the girl who gave you a lap-dance! You were so embarrassed! Lol.

3. Did you masturbate in front of your camera?And how on earth Willy fitted on the frame?HAHAH

2. I dont think that everyone can be audio erotica artists.Its about inspiration , fantasy and passion

thank you for this ramble marathon :)

1. First of all i wanna thank you because you see whats going on around you and you read posts/comments.I hope you read that too.It was very nice of you to mention about connecting with people you dont know on the internet.Im sure its helpful for people who dont understand the dangers.About Matt: I followed him when you posted about collaboration.It was the second time i replied on a tweet.It wasnt my intention to have any personal connection with him.I replied with a playful mood as i do to your tweets nothing more BUT you didnt ask me to exchange audios and you didnt followed me on twitter.I dont like that kind of approach from anyone.Thank you again because you could use this time to answer questions.I hope youll see this

Sweets and cakes are all well and good, Sunshine... but where was my *seacláid* in that sweet-talk, hmm? *grumble grumble* :-(

Brigid's Ember (Siren Historian & Mayoral Furniture Tester)

I was listening at work because I was too impatient to wait when I got out. Two of my more annoyingly yappy coworkers were behind me and I had to check myself from telling them to shut their gobs! 😆😆😆

Kathy M

i have to hear it one more time fuck.There is a lot of people here and many distractions.I cant handle it when some distractions distract me from the greatest distractions of all xD

He sensed it again XD

My dad called again LOL!

💛 nice nerding, Sage!

Trina

Loving this series of rambles! Thanks for playing along with us and sharing part of yourself. Looking forward to Part 4 😀. BTW - listen to the Swedish lesson I emailed you, you will need it soon......hehehe 😘

Next will be "Revenge of the Fourth" or "May the Fourth Be With You". 😂😂

A R N O L D S C H W A R Z E N E G G E R 🤔 Hmm, if each letter is equivalent to 30% of one inch, that would give us a working tripod of approx 6.6 inches, flaccid, we'll say (we'll hope and pray)

Hallo freund! Want to take a guess with me? I think at least another three, if not more. hehehe

Oh, danke! Schon wieder! Haha... how many parts left?? XD

Oooooo! MORE RAMBLE?!?!?! Happy birthday to me!!!

Trina

Btw, please please please PLEASE record your loopy self! 😀

The title is amazing 😂

That title! 😂😂 You truly have a way with words 😉

Slice of nonsense?What do you mean Mr Mayor that our questions is nonsense?awwwwwww

Yay, I have so much desk work today. 👏🏼

oh great! something good to start off my afternoon 😜😄

CherryBean

Woohoo!!

Turd - third haha what are you? 12??? 😂😆😂😁

Kathy M

He is OVER it! 😃😂😂

Catherine

Hey Gael!