Tonks' Fun (Mis)Education Chapter 5.

Content Warnings: Snogging, Semi-Public, Teasing.

“You take Tonks and I’ll talk to Harry.”

Narcissa raised an eyebrow. The girl in front of her had utterly transformed since their little excursion to Diagon Alley the day before.

“Won’t it make more sense for me to talk to Harry?”

“I feel like I have a more convincing argument for him.” Some of the old hesitation returned to Hermione’s voice. She chewed her lower lip nervously for a second before giving Narcissa a nervous smile. “I have a plan. Trust me, okay?”

“And what about Tonks?”

“I don’t think she’ll require much convincing. Not as much as Harry, anyway.”

“Let us hope you are right, mistress,” Narcissa smirked and leaned in to kiss Hermione’s pink cheek. “Not used to it yet?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be used to that title,” Hermione mumbled.

“You’ll adapt.” Narcissa pulled away from the shorter brunette with a smile. “There’s a lot you have to learn but a smart girl like you… trust me, you’ll pick things up a lot faster than I did.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Does what bother me, sweetie?”

“That I’m a Muggle-”

“No,” Narcissa interjected with a simple shake of her head. “Feels almost poetic. I think Fate took my desire to redeem myself very seriously,” Narcissa chuckled. “I am more than happy to follow your orders, Hermione. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that you won’t give me any.”

“Right. Uhhhh.” Hermione trapped her lower lip between her teeth and chewed on it as she worked up the courage to order the regal woman in front of her. “Go talk to Tonks and convince her that all of us need to be together.” She paused. “Please?” she quickly added for good measure.

“We will have to work on your skills at ordering people around, sweetie,” Narcissa smiled. She leaned in and pecked Hermione’s lips, savoring the taste of her caramel-flavored lipgloss. “When you go represent your husband on official business you will need to be a lot more authoritative than that.”

“Aren’t you going to be responsible for that?” Hermione asked in alarm.

“I am. But there are some things only a wife can do.”

“Oh,” Hermione mumbled with pink cheeks. There was so much she had to learn, so much that her books did not cover. “Will you teach me? I don’t know much about the inner workings of the Wizarding World.”

“Do I get to employ the same methods as Tonks?”

Hermione’s cheeks skipped past several shades of red and settled on maroon.

“I-What… You know about us?!” she spluttered.

“I had my suspicions. Your desire to include Tonks in our relationship couldn’t have been a spontaneous one, after all.”

“What about the teaching part?”

“Educated guess from observing the two of you around the house. Strong observation skills are what keep a woman in my position alive.”

“Wow. That’s… wow.”

“Darling,” Narcissa chuckled. “She told me about you and her on the ride back. We need to work on your sense of humor too.”

“You’re just making fun of me at this point.” 

“Get used to it. As I’ve told Harry, I plan to be a very difficult concubine,” Narcissa smirked. “Better get moving. Kreacher hasn’t patched up this hallway and I’m cold.”

“You could wear something warmer,” Hermione pointed out, staring at the silk gown Narcissa had on. It was impractical, revealing, and oh-so-gorgeous. It clung to every curve on Narcissa’s hourglass-shaped body and the low neckline afforded a tantalizing glimpse of Narcissa’s cleavage. 

“But then you’d stop staring, mistress. And that’s no fun, is it?” Narcissa whispered as she reached out to caress Hermione’s cheek with the back of her hand. 

Hermione reluctantly tore her eyes away from Narcissa’s bosom. 

“Were you always a terrible flirt?” Hermione asked, clearing her throat awkwardly. Before she met Tonks and Narcissa, she had been absolutely certain she was only attracted to men. If there was anyone who could change that… Well, the two women who had achieved that were probably the most gorgeous examples of feminine sensuality she had ever seen in her life. “You remind me of Marilyn Monroe.”

“I don’t know who that is, dear. I’m just returning to my natural state.”

“I’m glad.”

“That I’m a terrible flirt?” Narcissa asked teasingly.

Hermione worked up the courage to lean up on her toes and kiss Narcissa’s cheek. 

“I’m glad that you get to be who you want to be,” she whispered. “You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not around Harry or me.”

“I-” 

“It’s okay. I understand,” Hermione murmured. She reached out and gently squeezed Narcissa’s hand. She pulled away, frowning at the sight of her concubine’s eyes shining with unshed tears. 

“My mother always taught me that no mistake is unfixable as long as you live.” Hermione reached out with her free hand and caught a tear making its way down her cheek with her finger. 

“Smart woman,” Narcissa said. “I’d like to meet her one day.”

“One day. Once I figure out how to explain to her I have a boyfriend and two girlfriends,” Hermione grinned.

“You do not have them yet. Right now, you have one boyfriend and one girlfriend and it will stay that way if you remain in this hallway.”

“Fine,” Hermione huffed. “I guess this is what I get for trying to be romantic. I’ll go speak to Harry.”

Narcissa waited until Hermione had turned around and disappeared up the stairs before reaching up to caress the cheek she had kissed with her fingertips. It took her nearly a minute to compose herself, but she took a deep breath and made her way down the stairs.

The Weasley matriarch’s voice could be heard through the half-ajar door leading to the living room. Narcissa made a face and decided to start her search in the opposite direction. She turned and made her way down the corridor, pausing in front of the shut door to her cousin’s study. She pressed her ear against it but couldn’t hear anything.

“Smart man,” she murmured. She knew he was in there from the light visible through the gap between the door and the floor. She knocked on the door to override the silencing charm. “Sirius, it’s me.”

“Come in!”

Narcissa waited for the spell to register Sirius’ permission. Once the lock had clicked, she grasped the doorknob and turned it. The door swung in on newly oiled hinges without making a noise. Sirius wasn’t alone. He was seated in his favorite armchair by the fire, nursing a glass of firewhiskey. Tonks was laid out on the couch next to him, staring at the ceiling. 

Narcissa raised an eyebrow. Mousy brown hair, unfocused eyes, and not a single quip upon her entry? In the short time she’d known her, she had never seen Nymphadora Tonks so… lifeless. 

“Now I’ve seen everything,” Narcissa said lightly. “An entire bottle of firewhiskey on the table and you don’t have a glass in your hand, Nymphadora?”

“She’s in mourning.”

“I am not!” Tonks snapped.

“Dare I ask?” Narcissa raised an eyebrow.

“Close the door, would you? The last thing I need is Molly getting on my case again.”

“The story gets juicier by the minute.” Narcissa closed the door and swept into the study. “Is that why you have a silencing charm now? I’ve been telling you that you need one for days now.”

“I listened. Happy?” Sirius asked, raising his glass in a mock salute.

“You could freeze hell with the attitudes in this room,” Narcissa muttered. She grabbed a glass from the drinks cabinet and poured herself some firewhiskey from the bottle on the table. It had taken some time to get used to doing things for herself. But there was a strange sort of freedom that came with it and she enjoyed it. 

The only time she preferred someone else taking over these days was when Harry decided he wanted to take care of her. Which was most nights.

“Earth to Cissy!” Sirius snapped his fingers in front of Narcissa’s ear.

Narcissa blushed and set the bottle back on the table. 

“What were you thinking?”

“Have you ever had someone brush your hair? It’s strangely enjoyable.”

“I think most people would take negatively to a ‘mass-murderer’ walking up to them and asking them to brush his hair, dear cousin,” Sirius said dryly. “Also, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but my hair isn’t long enough to be brushed.”

“What about you, Nymphadora?”

Tonks turned to look at Narcissa and raised an eyebrow.

“Fine. Be killjoys. I’m questioning my decision to come here,” Narcissa huffed. She walked over to the armchair on the other side of the table and sat down on it gracefully. 

“Why did you come here? Did my godson kick you out to spend some time alone with his future wife?” 

“I’ll have you know they think I’m a joy to be around-” Narcissa turned to look at Tonks when the metamorphmagus snorted in disgust “-what is your problem? You were more than happy to work with me and get those two together yesterday.”

“That was before she realized what it meant. Namely, that she’d have to stop seeing the girl she’s crushing on.”

“Why?” Narcissa asked blankly.

“I doubt Harry’s going to be thrilled about the idea of me fucking his girlfriend, Narcissa,” Tonks muttered as she poked the couch’s cushion angrily.

“Merlin. And I thought I was supposed to be the old-fashioned one with no knowledge about what men like,” Narcissa chuckled. “Dear, have you ever dated a man?”

“Yes, Narcissa. I have, in fact, dated men.”

“Tonks prides herself on her attraction to everything on two feet,” Sirius interjected with a smirk. “If it’s human and handsome, she’s down to give it a try.” 

“Well, have you ever asked any of these men if they’d like to see you with another woman?”

“Why would I? When I can look like whoever they want.”

Narcissa sighed. 

“Not them with another woman. Have you ever asked if they’d enjoy seeing you with another girl?”

“Sure,” Tonks said sarcastically. “Dear Harry, would you like to sit in and watch your girlfriend cheat on you?”

Narcissa looked at Sirius with pleading eyes, begging him to jump in.

“Hey, don’t look at me. Every Black gets something bad from our ancestors. You know that. I got the touch of insanity, Tonks got the stupidity.”

“Hey!” Tonks pushed herself off the couch and glared at Sirius. “I don’t have to lie here and take this. I can mope in my bedroom.”

Her journey across the Study was interrupted by Hermione hammering on the door.

“Dinner! Mrs. Weasley’s in a mood, please don’t make her wait!”

“You can tell Mrs. Tyrant that I’m not hungry,” Tonks muttered. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned to look at Sirius and Narcissa. “Well? I can’t go until you leave. I plan on using you as cover.”

Narcissa grinned.

“You can go mope in your bedroom after you do one small thing for me,” she said, setting her glass on the table and rising to her feet. “When we leave the Study, I want you to focus on Harry.”

“What?”

“Observe him. Just for the time it takes us to walk down to the dining room. Then you can leave.”

“Will you leave me alone if I do that?”

“Yes. I promise.”

“Fine-”

Tonks was interrupted by Hermione hammering on the door again. 

“Seriously, I’m going to be very cross if you make me and Harry go in there alone. She hates my guts right now!”

Narcissa swept across the study and pulled open the door, smiling at the sight of the brunette in the hallway. She could see why Tonks had fallen for the girl.

Big, doe-shaped warm brown eyes. Luxuriant curls that made her want to bury her hand in the girl’s hair and tug until she moaned. Pretty pink lips and rosy cheeks. She was petite but her figure suited her short stature. 

Narcissa decided she liked her new mistress very much.

Before Hermione could pull away, she cupped the girl’s cheeks, leaned in, and planted her lips on hers. Narcissa could feel the eyes on her but her intended audience consisted of a single person and she gave it her all. Her hands freely explored Hermione’s gentle curves before they settled on her waist. She pulled the girl closer, refusing to break the kiss even as her body demanded air. 

“Thank you for inviting us to dinner, mistress,” Narcissa whispered sultrily as she pulled away. Her tongue darted out and swept over her pink lips to savor the taste of Hermione’s lipgloss.

“R-right. Of course. My… my pleasure,” Hermione stammered. Her eyes were unfocused. Mrs. Weasley yelled about the soup going cold and Harry took her hand before she managed to pull herself out of her stupor. She blushed heavily and ran down to the dining room with Harry. 

Narcissa motioned for Sirius to walk ahead of them. She waited for Tonks to try and move around her, only to interrupt the metamorphmagus’ attempt to escape by grabbing her arm. 

“So, what’d you notice?”

“I’m not dumb,” Tonks hissed. She tried to jerk her arm away from Narcissa’s hand but the older woman stubbornly linked their arms together. She sighed. There was nothing to do but follow Narcissa into the dining room. “I was the one who told Hermione that Harry would love to join her and you in bed. But it’s different in your case.”

“Why? Because I can maintain healthy relationships? Because I don’t try to sabotage my happiness at every opportunity? Where is your self-esteem, woman?” Narcissa raised an eyebrow. “Look, I know growing up around Andy couldn’t have been easy-”

“Don’t bring my mother into this,” Tonks growled. She ignored the stares from everyone in the dining room as she yanked her arm free from Narcissa’s grasp. She stomped over to a chair and sat down, sighing when Narcissa made Fred move from the seat next to hers so she could take it. “What is your problem?” she hissed quietly. 

“What is yours?” Narcissa retorted. “Oh. No thank you, darling, none for me,” she said, turning to Ginny when the redhead walked over to her with the pot of soup.

“Soup me, Red,” Tonks said. She held her bowl out for Ginny. “Soup me hard.”

Narcissa waited until Ginny had left. Tonks had begun to loudly slurp her soup so she reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping the spoon mid-air.

“Inhaling soup isn’t going to make me go away.”

“Do you see the irony of you commenting on my self-esteem? Have you ever looked in a mirror?” 

“Oh, I know I have none. I mask that under an air of arrogance just as you mask yours under playfulness. It takes one to know one, Nymphadora.”

Tonks was so surprised that she didn’t even take offense to Narcissa using her first name. The spoon slipped out of her hand and landed in the bowl, sending soup flying everywhere.

“Did you just admit to a weakness?” Tonks choked out.

“Tonks!” Mrs. Weasley barked before Narcissa could answer, looking away from Bill at the sound of the splash. “Be careful, I just changed the tablecloth!”

“Sorry,” Tonks said. She forced a cheeky smile and shook her wrist free from Narcissa’s grasp. “You know how clumsy I am. I’ll clear up after dinner and clean the stains.”

“Fine,” Mrs. Weasley huffed. She turned her attention back to her son and resumed her conversation.

“She does not look happy,” Narcissa said.

“He’s dating someone. She doesn’t approve.”

“There seems to be a lot of that going around these days,” Narcissa noted mildly. “I doubt she approves of me being Harry’s girlfriend either.”

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Narcissa Black?”

“What do you mean?” Narcissa picked up a breadstick and delicately nibbled on it.

“Admitting to a weakness, being excited about the prospect of romance-” Tonks’ gaze flickered to the painting of Walburga through the open doorway “-the Black family matriarch must be turning in her grave.”

“Well, she’ll just have to learn to… die with it? I belong to the future Head of the House and he can teach me whatever he wishes.”

“Oh, I bet he’s been teaching you lots of things,” Tonks teased, her bad mood momentarily forgotten. She grinned at the hint of pink gracing Narcissa’s cheeks.

“This is not appropriate dinner table conversation.”

“Well, you giving your master fuck-me eyes every few seconds isn’t appropriate either but you don’t see me scolding you for that, do you?”

“I’m doing no such thing!” Narcissa hissed, hastily tearing her eyes away from Harry. If Tonks’ goal was to get her to shut up, it worked. Narcissa quietly focused on her food for the rest of the meal, trying her best to avoid looking at Harry. It was impossible. His presence was like a magnet, inexplicably drawing her towards him. She craved him with every fiber of her being and it scared her.

Was this how it was supposed to feel with Lucius? If that was the case, no wonder their marriage hadn’t worked out. It was perhaps doomed to fail from the start.

Even when she’d tried her best to love Lucius, he hadn’t made her feel the way Harry did. Whenever she was around her master, her mouth dried up, her heart hammered in her chest, and her palms transformed into the world’s sweatiest…

“Fuck,” she cursed under her breath.

It wasn’t as quiet as she had presumed. The people closest to her turned to look at her and she blushed. 

“I think I’m done.” She pushed her chair away from the table and stood.

“All of us are,” Mrs. Weasley pointed out tartly. 

“Thank you for a wonderful meal, Molly,” Narcissa said politely, refusing to take the bait. While she usually enjoyed a good spar with the Weasley matriarch, her recent revelations had given her a lot to think about. She tried to leave but Harry grabbed her hand and stopped her.

“We’re going to the living room to play something. Join us?”

“Of course,” Narcissa said. Every single symptom of the disease that afflicted her returned with a vengeance. She stood there, still as a statue until Harry pulled her out into the hallway. They walked down to the living room and waited for his friends to join them. To her surprise, Tonks followed the Twins into the room. 

“Weren’t you going to help mum with clearing the table?” Fred asked.

“I accidentally dropped a plate so she yelled at me and told me to leave,” Tonks shrugged.

“Don’t mind her,” George said, pulling out a set of gobstones from a drawer in the living room. “She’s been in a foul mood ever since Bill told her he’s going to propose.”

Ron made a choking sound.

“B-Bill’s going to propose? He wants to marry Fleur?” 

“Yep. She’s going to be around a lot more than she already is. You better get your head checked out by a mind healer so you don’t act like a complete idiot around your sister-in-law,” George said seriously.

“Fleur is the Veela, yes?” Narcissa asked Harry.

“Yep. She was one of the champions in the Triwizard Tournament last year. Ron asked her out to the Yule Ball and he’s never gotten over it-”

“I have!” Ron interrupted. His entire face was red. He snatched the box of gobstones from his brother and busied himself with laying them out.

“I do not understand Molly. A Veela is a worthy wife. I would be proud if one agreed to be my son’s mate.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Harry. I am trying to unlearn my prejudices,” Narcissa murmured. “A headstrong, proud Veela would make a wonderful wife. Bill Weasley is a lucky man.”

“So am I. I have a headstrong, proud, intelligent, beautiful blonde as my concubine, who is also my wife in all but name. Hey, Mrs. Weasley hates you too,” Harry chuckled. “Something else Bill and I have in common.”

“You don’t mean that,” Narcissa whispered, her heart thumping in her chest. She studied Harry’s serious expression with wide gray eyes, praying she had misheard.

“Okay, well, maybe hate is a strong word. She dislikes you but to be fair, you don’t miss a single opportunity to annoy her.”

“Not that. The other thing, Harry.”

“That you’re my wife in all but name? Why wouldn’t I mean that? It’s the truth.” Harry shrugged. He leaned in and kissed her pink cheek. “I swore to look after you and you swore to stay by my side. That sounds like a marriage vow to me.”

“Oi! Do you plan to join us?” Fred hollered.

“You want me to play… gobstones,” Narcissa asked with a gobsmacked expression. “While I’m wearing the dress that Harry got me?”

“… yes?”

“I do not think getting ink squirted on me is a dignified way to spend my time.”

“You know, I learned a cleaning spell last year that can remove just about every stain in existence from a piece of fabric. You don’t have to worry about ruining your favorite dress,” Hermione smiled. 

“That’s not the issue.” Narcissa took a deep breath and resisted the urge to fan her face. Why was it so hot? “As I said, I don’t think this is a good way to spend my time. I have a book I need to finish reading.”

“I’ll take a rain check as well,” Harry said and moved to sit on an armchair. “I’ve had too much excitement for one day.”

Narcissa tried to occupy the couch next to the one Harry was sitting on but he grasped her arm and pulled her into his lap. She adjusted her dress and gracefully settled into his side, leaning into him and allowing him to wrap his arms around her.

She glanced at Tonks from the corner of her eyes and blushed when she noticed the smirk on the metamorphmagus’ face. 

“Harry, this isn’t proper,” Narcissa whispered. She buried her face in his chest. The intoxicating scent of chocolate and broom-handle polish caused butterflies to erupt in her belly. Her blush deepened. “People can see us.”

“Do I look like the kind of person who cares about propriety, Cissy?” Harry’s arms tightened around her. “I’ve just had the worst conversation of my life and I just want a moment of comfort.”

Narcissa’s heart sank in her chest. She cleared her throat and braced herself for a fight.

“Why do you hate the idea so much?”

“I’d have thought you’d be extremely concerned by the idea of Snape having free reign to shoot whatever spell he likes in my direction.”

“What are you talking about?” Narcissa asked, stunned.

“I thought Sirius told you… What are you talking about?” 

“I thought Hermione had a chat with you. Doesn’t matter. Your news is more important. What happened?”

“Remember how you encouraged me to get Dumbledore to train me? Well, I asked Sirius and he kept pestering the Headmaster until Dumbledore agreed. Guess who he’s asked to be my mentor?”

“No,” Narcissa growled. She shifted on his lap so she was shielding Harry’s body with hers. “I refuse to allow it.”

“Cissy-”

“You can’t seriously be considering it.”

“It was your idea! And it makes sense. Voldemort-” Harry tightened his hold around her when she trembled “-isn’t going to wait for me to finish Hogwarts and Auror training. I need to learn how to defend myself. At least with Snape, I know he won’t hold back.”

“There are people who won’t baby you who also don’t actively hate you. That man would be more than happy to see you dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“I thought he was your friend.”

“Nothing is more important to me than you,” Narcissa growled. “I will do whatever it takes to get you to agree to refuse Dumbledore’s offer. You want me to debase myself and get down on my knees and beg here, in front of everyone? I will, if that’s what it takes!”

“Cissy, why are you so worked up about this?” Harry asked, frowning. 

“Because I love you, dammit!”

Everyone in the room turned to look at them. Conversation ceased. The room was suddenly so silent that they could easily have heard a pin dropping onto the hardwood floor. 

Narcissa disentangled herself from Harry’s arms and climbed off his lap. 

“I’ve had a long day and I think it’s best if I retire, my lord,” she said in a formal tone. She curtsied. “Thank you for excusing me,” she said, not giving Harry the choice to deny her request. She swept out of the room before Harry or anyone else could stop her.

“What did you do?” Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I said something stupid.”

“Men,” Hermione huffed. “Well?”

“What?”

“Aren’t you going to go after her?”

“Oh. Right. I should do that.”

“See, Fred, I told you the universe was a harsh and unjust place.”

“Quite so, George. How the most clueless man in existence got a vision of beauty and perfection to fall in love with him shall forever remain a mystery.”

“Oi!” Hermione barked. “You two. Shut it. Harry, why are you still here?”

“Right.” Harry pushed himself out of the couch and ran out of the room. He deftly avoided Kreacher in the hallway and hurried up the stairs two at a time.

She wasn’t in their bedroom. He walked down the hallway, opening every door until he found her in the empty, bare-bones bedroom at the very end of the corridor. She was seated on the dirty mattress laid out on the bed, staring out at the night sky. She shivered ever so often as a gust of cold air blew in through the window but made no attempt to get up and close it.

The gentle click of the door caused her to turn. She turned and stiffened when she noticed Harry in the doorway but waited for him to enter and close the door behind him before she spoke.

“I apologize for my outburst. It was unacceptable.”

“So you don’t love me.”

Narcissa froze. It took her several seconds to work up the courage to speak.

“I apologized for my improper behavior. Not for my, uhm, feelings for you,” she said shyly.

“Good. Can I sit?”

“Everything in this room, including me, belongs to you.”

“And I thought we’ve established that I won’t do anything without your consent.”

“You may sit,” Narcissa said, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She cleared her throat and looked away from him. “Why couldn’t you just have been cruel that first night?”

The mattress sagged under him. He reached out and took her hand. She stiffened but did not pull away from him.

“Is that what you would have preferred?” he asked softly.

“It would make things much easier. My life would be uncomplicated. I know how to serve a cruel and uncaring man.”

“None of that answers my question.”

“No,” she whispered as a lone tear streaked down her cheek. “Never change. I want to live in the world where I can love you, even if you can’t love me back.”

“Why can’t I love you?” Harry asked. He reached out and gently grasped her chin, forcing her to turn and look at him. 

“You love Hermione. And I’m me. You can make me a better person, Harry, but you can never change the things I’ve done. I look at myself in a mirror and hate who I’ve become,” Narcissa whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Don’t worry. I’ll love you enough for both of us,” Harry whispered. 

He leaned in and captured her lips.

                                                                                           ---

Narcissa found Tonks in the dining room. She was seated in a chair by the fire, nursing a glance of firewhiskey and staring at the dying embers in the fireplace. 

“You little slut,” Tonks teased without looking up.

“Excuse me?!”

“Oh please, I know that walk. You just got dicked down to within an inch of your life. How many times did you cum?”

“Tonks, this is highly improper-”

“Three hours ago you were trying to convince me that I could still date Hermione. Now you want to talk about propriety?”

“Two,” Narcissa whispered, blushing heavily.

“What was that?”

“Two!” Narcissa repeated loudly.

“Two, what?”

“I came twice, Nymphadora Tonks!” Narcissa growled. She dragged a chair next to the fireplace and flopped on it in a decidedly unladylike fashion. “We have more important things to talk about.”

“Do we? Your sex life is a pretty important topic. I’m curious about the effects of flooding a desert that has spent years without any moisture,” Tonks smirked and gestured at Narcissa’s crotch.

“Tonks, I made a mistake. I need your help,” Narcissa begged. 

The panic in her voice caused Tonks to finally drop the teasing.

“What’s up?”

“I encouraged Harry to ask Dumbledore to train him. I can teach him a lot of things but I’m no fighter. He needs to learn how to protect himself.”

“Let me guess, Dumbledore did not take kindly to that. Or Molly overheard and has gone ballistic.”

“Worse,” Narcissa whispered. She resisted the urge to nibble on her fingernails. It was a bad habit that had been beaten out of her by her mother a long time ago but had returned with a vengeance ever since she had set foot in Grimmauld Place. Old memories, old habits. 

“What could be worse than Molly going ballistic?”

“Dumbledore agreed. Except he’s not going to teach Harry. Severus is.”

Tonks snapped her head around and stared at Narcissa in disbelief.

“You’re not serious.”

“I am. Harry told me. That’s what caused my… little outburst.”

“I guess that’s one way to win the war. Get the Boy-Who-Lived killed before Moldypants can get his hands on him,” Tonks muttered. “I hope Harry told Dumbledore to shove his idea where the sun doesn’t shine.”

“He said yes,” Narcissa muttered. “I need your help. You need to agree to my proposal.”

“I don’t see how my dating Hermione prevents Snape from murdering Harry.”

“Because that’s not all I was proposing. We were interrupted before I could finish. What if you were like me? As his concubine, you’d have every right to be with him wherever he goes, even Hogwarts. And Dumbledore can’t force him to learn from Severus if an Auror is teaching him.”

“As tempting as the thought of being spit-roasted by Harry and Hermione is, how do you think going to my mother and asking her to sell me to a man is going to go?”

“A wife sale doesn’t have to be about money. As long as something of value is exchanged, it’s binding. It can be something as simple as Harry promising to love and cherish you. Since you’re not married, if your father thinks that holds value-”

“You’re not serious.”

“I am.”

“There’s just one small problem in your plan.”

“Is there?”

“Yeah. Harry’s never going to agree.”

Notes:

The medicine I got did not agree with me. So I stopped it cold turkey, which was... a mistake. I now know a human can indeed sleep for 12 hours straight. Anywho! Old stories are making a resurgence, especially ones that were really popular with people! Tonks' Fun (Mis)Education was certainly one of them and so I have a rough plot mapped out and it shall be finished. I like writing a soft Narcissa far more than I thought I would. Tonks, Narcissa, and Hermione are an interesting combination indeed, and I'm curious to see how it plays out.