DCEC: Valentine's Day w/ Harley Quinn

Author's Notes: If it seems like I've been extra prolific over the past couple weeks it's because I FUCKING HAVE BEEN holy shit have I been putting the pedal to the metal recently. Hopefully this makes up for the recent dry spell, so if it happens again, y'all will know to just strap in and wait for another rush of content like this one.

Anywho, this is a random idea that I had while I was surfing hentai. It's no secret that I love DC (before everything got shitty) and I've been itching to do something with that for a while, as the recent Diana's Conquests upload is quite old. It's longer than the Monthly Shorts are typically supposed to be 'cause I refused to cut any corners on it, so hopefully you all really enjoy it. <3 Stay sexy everyone. Never stop fappin'.

[Futa/F] [comedy] [bondage] [light mind control?] [oral] [titfucking] [rimming/facesitting] [anal]

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“Pssst. Go on. Say it.”

“No.”

“Sayyy iiiiit. Please? Pwetty please?”

Wonder Woman scowled up at her... sigh... captor. She, Diana of Themyscira, by some absurd twist of luck or fate or trickery, had ended up here, tied to a chair with her own lasso, and looking up at the milky-skinned girl clown of Gotham City. A villainess Diana had absolutely no business interacting with. “...This is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“AaaaahahahaHA~!” Harley Quinn almost squealed with delight, bouncing nearly out of her skin as she skipped in circles, giggling madly and twirling her mallet like an enormous marching band baton. “More embarrassing than the time you made a tuna fish sandwich outta Aquababy?”

“That never happened.”

Harley smirked, narrowing her eyes at the heroine in playful mock-suspicion. “You sure?”

“Yes,” Wonder Woman scowled. She twitched her muscles hard, straining against the unbreakable bonds of the Lasso of Truth -- not truly seeing to break it, but simply hoping to exploit poor knotwork or maybe wiggle free. Finally, she stopped, sighing out through her nostrils. “And even if it had, this would still be more embarrassing.”

“Aww, come on now. There’s a lot worse villains than me. It coulda been Calendar Man.”

“At least he would have just killed me and gotten it over with.”

The clowngirl snorted derisively. “Clearly ya don’t know Cally. Catch like you, he’d wanna peel off an inch a’ skin for every holiday. Seriously, shared a cell in Arkham with him once, nooot a fun time. Guy has serious problems.”

“And you don’t?”

“No way!” Harley grinned widely, tossing her mallet aside now and hopping over onto Wonder Woman’s lap, popping her perky, spandex-clad backside onto the amazon princess’s thigh. Diana growled under her breath, but couldn’t do much more than that. “I like to think I’m perfectly rehabilitated. Especially with Mistah J completely outta my life now. Seriously, I ain’t even been doin’ the villain thing for the past couple years. Teamed up with Power Girl and everything!”

“Then why did I catch you pouring chemicals into the city’s water supply?”

“Chemicals! Pshh!” Quinn scoffed. “Just a little somethin’ to loosen people up, that’s all. I couldn’t bear to see another Valentine’s Day in Gotham, all dreary and smoggy and everyone trying not to get killed in alleys. Just my way of trying to brighten things up!”

“People were...” Diana gritted her teeth. “...Mating, in the streets.”

“Didn’t look to me like they minded one bit.” Harley’s grin widened, the white-skinned jester leaning into Diana’s bound, seated figure a little more, her chest squishing gently against Wonder Woman’s larger, bustier-clad bust. “Y’know, from what I’ve seen of you, you could use some loosenin’ up too. Shame you dumped all the rest of my stash.”

“If you’re so eager to see my loosened, unbind me.”

“And get every last chomper I got knocked down my throat? Don’t think so, Wondy. But since I got ya here, and since it is VaaAalentine’s DaAaay...~” Harley leaned in a little more, biting her lower lip softly as she nuzzled into Diana’s cheek, then giving it a little lick that made the heroine flinch away. “We could get up to some ‘mating’ of our own....”

“Don’t be absurd, you deranged fool!” Diana snapped, shifting away as best as she could, squirming against the chair she was tied to as Harley crawled more fully into her lap, straddling the amazon. Wonder Woman’s eyes darted around the building she was in -- the place was dark and abandoned, some kind of warehouse or perhaps a game room for a carnival. The sound of wheezing calliopes in the distance, long in disrepair, led her to believe it was the latter. Either way, it meant there was no rescue coming. She was on the clown’s turf.

Mocking an offended gasp, Harley pulled back a little, still straddling the amazon but no longer pressing into her. “Rude!” she said declaratively. “Y’know, you’re the one makin’ this a whole hero/villain thing. You tried to throw me in Arkham, and now when the tables turn you act like I’m the bad guy? Eesh.” The clowngirl frowned deeply, then tapped her crimson lower lip with a single fingertip, her strange little mind lost in thought for a moment. “If only you had a mask to take off. Or any kinda secret identity at all. You know that makes you kinda boring right?”

“You think I don’t wish I had a secret identity?” Diana shouted, then paused, her eyes widening, lips sealing shut as she realized the situation she was in. Her reaction, however, was all Harley needed to remember the exact properties of the lasso she’d used to tie the heroine up with.

“Oh myyy. Ice skates and cornflakes, goodness me -- you gotta tell the truth, don’t you? You gotta answer anything I ask!”

“Of course I do, simpleton,” Diana spat, before silently cursing herself once more.

A long, haunting peal of giggles escaped Harley’s lips. “Ohhhohoho, this is gonna be fun. This is gonna be a lot of fun.”

“Shut up.”

“That bustier makes you feel super hot doesn’t it? Is that why you wear it?”

“Obviously-- Hera damn you!”

“So your hot sticky little amazon island,” Harley continued, barely even missing a beat. “Is it true what everyone says? Girl-on-girl shenanigans twenty-four-seven? Muff-divin’ paradise?”

“Of course, we have to relieve our tensions somehow. Though there are no... ‘muffs,’ on Themyscira.”

Harley paused, blinking her big blue eyes rapidly. “Wait, no muffs? I didn’t think that ‘formed from clay’ crap was for real.”

“Of course we are women of flesh and blood,” Diana continued, entirely against her own will. “We are just different from the humans of Earth. We are endowed with the members of your human males, down to the last woman.”

If Quinn’s eyes had been wide before, they almost popped out of her skull now. It took a moment for the pieces to click together, but she’d spent more than enough time on this strange world of gods and aliens to know that not everything was exactly as she expected it to be.

“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” the jester girl breathed, her jaw slack.

“I am bound by the Lasso of Truth. I couldn’t tell you a lie if my life depended on it,” Diana sighed.

“Well, since ya ain’t got no mask to take off...” Harley grinned, biting her lip excitedly as she started to disembark from Diana’s lap, giggling wickedly. “Maybe there’s a certain somethin’ else I can unmask....” Hooking her fingers into the star-spangled, glorified panties that made up Diana’s outfit, Harley began to gradually pull them down, her eyes filled with childlike wonder and her heart racing as she tried to prepare herself for what she might see. At first it appeared that the amazon had managed to lie, before something amazing, something truly might began to pulse forth from between the embarrassed heroine’s thighs, where it had apparently been expertly tucked.

Wonder Woman’s penis was truly, itself, a thing of wonder. Nearly at full stiffness already -- whether from anxiety or genuine lust, it was hard to tell -- but even at three-quarter-mast the thing was amazingly big, causing Harley to blink in utter amazement. “Mazel tov,” the clowngirl whispered, on her knees now and staring up at the massive thing. “Wondy, anyone tell you you got a killer schlong?”

“...Schlong?”

“Putz, schmeckle? Wang-a-lang? Hot rod?”

“You speak of my womanhood?”

“We can call it that, sure.”

“Then yes, all the time,” Diana said proudly, before stopping herself with a few mumbled curses. Her grumbles were cut short, however, when an unexpected moan stole her breath from her, her back arching a little and her divine thighs squeezing together -- as the princess was apparently totally unable to read the room, Harley’s long, thirsty lick along the underside of her massive girlcock caught her entirely by surprise.

“W-what are you doing, fool! Don’t you dare!” she finally managed to gasp after a moment to get her thoughts straight and actually register what Harley had done. The clowngirl now had her lips wrapped entirely around the tip, suckling around it, drawn to the massive girldick like a moth to a flame.

“Mmmh mph phmmn...?”

“I don’t speak your vulgar language!”

Harley pulled off with a little pop, wiping her mouth before looking back up at the amazon with lust in her eyes, consumed by a dangerous blend of power, curiosity, and sexual hunger. “Ya speak this, Wondy?” she purred, wrapping one hand firmly around the base of Diana’s thick cock and squeezing gently, then starting to stroke it up and down in long, slow pumps. It only took one small moan -- one finally sound of bodily surrender that may or may not have been forced from Diana by the lasso -- for that stroking to start growing more rapid and excited. Harley leaned back down, the clowngirl dragging her tongue in long, messy circles around the crown of the amazon’s throbbing shaft. “Mmmph....”

“You are an... awful creature....” Wonder Woman growled, her fingers flexing and tensing at the arms of her chair as she tried to pull away, her mind wanting nothing more to resist and escape rather than be... sullied... by this maniac. Her body, on the other hand, reacted exactly as Harley saw it was. Her olive skin grew more rosy, goosebumps rippling along the firm, marble-smooth skin of the goddess’s powerful thighs. That thick, pulsing girlcock was as hard as any the clowngirl had ever seen, and she’d seen more than a couple up close.

“Awful?” Harley smirked. “Let’s see if this is awful.” The pale jester girl drew down the zipper on her jacket, tossing it aside and then lifting the snug red tube top underneath; a wide, almost maniacal grin on her face as she exposed her full, firm breasts, not as large by any means as Diana’s but nonetheless lusciously pert. No sooner were those smooth globes freed to the world, however, did Harley Quinn put them to good use -- scooting up into Diana’s lap and pressing her pale, creamy cleavage against and around the huge femdick that the amazon was sporting. A trail of drool slithered down from the clown’s extended tongue, sliding down between her cleavage and back along Diana’s cock, already a bit slippery from Harley’s playful licking and sucking.

When she finally squished those soft globes fully around the warm, throbbing rod of meat between Wonder Woman’s thighs, Diana could do nothing but desperately bite her lower lip in an attempt not to moan out again. When Harley began to shift them up and down along the thick length like she was squeezing toothpaste out of a tube, no such attempt to exorcise a divine iron will could hold out. “AaAahn...!” Diana finally yelped out, clenching her powerful thighs together as best she could, her face screwed up in an expression of protestation and pleasure that managed to hit the exact mark of ‘expression Harley was most interested in seeing.’

The downside, of course, to Harley using her breasts to tease and pleasure Diana was that it left her mouth unoccupied and, thus, free to continue its playful rambling and mocking. “How’s that, princess? Awful enough for ya?”

“Nnn... there is... nothing awful about what you’re doing--” Diana hissed, her words stunted and halting as she desperately tried not to tell the truth. “--Just pure, heavenly pleasure the likes I’ve never felt... feeling my member enveloped in your bosom is more blissful than the very sweetest ambrosia!”

“I get that a lot,” Harley quipped, sticking her tongue out and leaning in like a rider on a racing bike. “But now I think I wanna take a look at yours.” Grabbing at the edge of Diana’s corset with her teeth and yanking it down to reveal the other woman’s full, firm breasts, so flawlessly sculpted that it had the clowngirl revisiting her ‘moulded from clay’ theory. “Niiice, who’s ya surgeon?”

“Surgeon? I have no-- ghyaaAaH!” Clenching her thighs shut tight once more in an attempt to hold back a burst of godly, pearlescent semen resulted in immediate failure as Diana succumbed to the ecstasy of Quinn’s chest -- as Harley pinned her tits to Diana’s lap, squishing them together around that hard cock and pumping them up and down, back and forth, drooling and nibbling at the tip when it would peek out from between her cleavage, everything eventually became too much for Diana to handle. The orgasm seemed to sweep over her all at once; between her desperate attempt to hold back her desires, and the uniquely new sensations of Harley’s “special” way of pleasuring her, it all overwhelmed her in a wave of bliss that sent her massive girlcock pumping jet after jet of hot cum upwards, blasting into the air like fireworks..

This happened to be exactly how Quinn reacted to them, of course, cheering out like a child unwrapping a Christmas present. Those big blue eyes of her filled with wonder as they watched the trajectory of those long, steaming spurts as if in slow motion, closing only at the last second when they began to descend, splattering between the clowngirl’s pale, creamy breasts and latticing across her joyous, widely-grinning face. “Eeeee!”

Diana fell quickly to soft panting, catching her breath from the outburst, her face flushed and her knees wobbling, fingers trembling a little. “That... that was....”

“Pretty sweet?”

“Utterly amazing,” the amazon princess said after a moment, and for the first time she didn’t seem to mentally kick herself for the admission. “What have I been missing?”

“Honestly, no clue,” Harley said, wiping her finger between her cleavage to scoop up a little of the goddess’s cum, then lightly licking it off. “I thought you were on girldick island, ain’t never even gotten titfucked before?”

“Amazons were not quite so... generous. We fornicated for release, that we may better focus in battle.”

“Laaame. But seriously,” Harley dropped the subject, sitting up a little, gaze moving back down to the slick, pulsating girldick that didn’t look like it was certain whether to fall to rest or remain erect. “You can go again, right? I may be generous but a lady still wants her cookies.”

“Cookies...?”

“Quit stallin’, Wondy! Yes or no?”

“Yes, I... believe so,” Diana breathed out quietly, biting her lip as she looked down at the clown, her gaze rising along with Harley’s athletic figure.

“Good, ‘cause I’ve been itchin’ for a little playtime myself.” The ex-villainess grinned widely, the smile almost chilling in its maniacal certainty, in its pure id. A few rapid, practiced motions showed Quinn removing her belt, boots, and pants, showing off every inch of her delicate, chemical-bleached skin and every limber, sensuous curve that it was wrapped around. “I suppose livin’ on dickgirl island -- yeah, I’m callin’ it that from now on -- you’ve shoved that monster up someone’s tuchus before, yeah?”

“Tuck-us?”

“Lady, this isn’t your first trip to Gotham, keep up with the yiddish awright?” Harley scoffed. “I’m talkin’ about your, uh... y’know. Your butt.”

Diana blinked. “Oh. No. We used our hands. That’s... absurd.”

“Hands? Wait a second, you all just gave each other old-fashioneds?” The clown rolled her eyes dramatically. “No fuckin’ wonder you’re such a stick in the mud, ya ain’t done any of the fun stuff. Alright, you’re in for a treat, Wondy. But first... you’re gonna have to get me ready.”

“That’s absolutely ridiculous, why would I even want to? I--” Diana blinked again as Harley reached out, taking her already-ruffled chestpiece by the top end and ripping it off completely, tossing it aside and leaving the superheroine in only her star-spangled panties, her massive cock still tugged out of them and laying across her muscled stomach. “You’re... stronger, than I imagined.”

“Maybe that’s why you’re tied to that chair right now,” Harley giggled. “Nevah underestimate your opponent. Liable to get hurt, yeah? Now, with that out of the way...” the clowngirl climbed back up into Diana’s lap, though climbed much higher this time, coiling one leg around Diana’s neck and shoulders and pressing the other against the wall behind the amazon, keeping both of them steady. Scooting upward and miraculously managing to hold her weight up, Harley bit her lip to hold back to peal of sinister giggles rising in her chest -- positioning herself so that her smooth, pale slit, already soaked from excitement, and the ghostly little hole beneath it, were both within tongue’s reach of Wonder Woman.

“What do you expect me to do with this?” Diana deadpanned.

“I expect you to make me scream,” Harley said smoulderingly before rethinking her wording. “In the good way, I mean. Like I made you scream a minute ago, y’know? Like that.”

“And... how should I go about that?”

Quinn’s eyes widened. “You are seriously hopeless, y’know that? Awright, you’re gonna take your tongue, and you’re gonna put it--” she arched a little, pointing one finger at her back entrance. “Right here. And if you don’t, we’re tippin’ this chair over and I’m sittin’ on your face.”

“Ridiculous!” Diana spat.

“You asked for it,” Harley sighed, releasing the leg on the wall and leaning forward, causing the chair to crash backwards against the concrete. Diana’s tiara appeared to soak up the force of the fall entirely, causing no harm whatsoever -- but nor did the amazon have time to collect herself before Harley had pinned her, lowering her backside entirely down onto the heroine’s face.

“Mphh! Nnph ffhn pphhallkghh!”

“I don’t speak your vulgah language,” Harley parroted playfully, her eyes fluttering a little as she felt Wonder Woman struggle to speak and protest, none of her efforts getting her far as every shift and flick of the woman’s tongue and lips caused them to press and rub against Harley, smothering saliva and frantic, if indirect, attention to the clowngirl’s soaked pussy and tight, pale asshole. “Nnn... fuck...” Harley purred with half-lidded eyes, a long, low whimper of excitement escaping her lips.

After a moment of Diana’s continued helpless struggling, Harley bit her lip and began to genuinely shift her own weight back and forth along the other woman’s face, swiveling and pivoting a little with gradual movements of her legs to get the most coverage out of Diana’s attempts to speak. “Ohh-ho-ho shit... ya got my numbah Wondy....”

Wonder Woman herself was in a world of confusion and strange arousal, only made worse when Harley reached the short distance to playfully rub and fondle one firm breast, teasing the nipple affectionately between her nipples. Her protests seemed to mean nothing, and after a moment she stopped, though... she didn’t found her predicament to be quite as foul as she’d anticipated. Bits of peripheral contact showed that Harley apparently kept quite clean, and seemed to immensely enjoy the bits of attention accidentally paid to her two smooth holes. After what Quinn had so generously done for her... maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if...?

“EeEek! Ahhmmnn...” Harley squealed, then sighed out blissfully when she felt Diana’s tongue properly extend, lapping slowly along the pale pink length of the clowngirl’s slit, then spreading the juices backwards, mixing with Wonder Woman’s saliva to coat and swirl around the tensing entrance of Quinn’s rear star. A ragged moan was followed by another cry of pleasure, then excitement, then primal lust as Diana got more into the act, prodding and swirling at the narrow hole with her tongue, lapping at it gently, then hungrily, getting the sensitive little spot nice and slick and quivering with need....

“Awright, that’s it, you, in me, now,” Harley huffed, lifting herself off of the gasping amazon but staggering a few steps as her knees wobbled with weakness. Steadying herself, the clown hooked her toes along the edge of the chair and yanked it up back into place, immediately pouncing, straddling, and mounting the still-bound Diana.

“How do you-- mmpphh...” Once again, the amazon was cut off when Harley sealed her deep ruby lips to Diana’s, seizing her in a long, hungry, desperate kiss that caused both womens’ soft breasts to collide and squish into each other. There was a little bit of fidgeting and positioning from the harlequin, groping Diana’s sideboob adoringly while her other hand reached back, taking firm hold of Wonder Woman’s cock and guiding it to her properly-wetted back entrance, pinning it against her and then lowering her weight onto it, sitting down firmly on Diana’s massive girlcock. It was bigger than Joker’s that much was obvious at a glance, but now feeling it inside her snuggest hole made that feeling even more acute and obvious.

“Nnnphhggahahh...!” Harley whined out, her eyes widening, a little spasm shooting through her as she felt that slick, spongy tip press against her asshole, straining against her tight corridor before popping inside. Removing her hand from Diana’s dick -- as it was now firmly in place -- Harley grabbed one of her own buttcheeks and spread it a little as she lowered herself further. Any more words were muffled by the kiss and by frantic little whimpers of pleasure as Quinn slowly anally impaled herself, her pale passage clenching and quivering around the mythical invader.

For Wonder Woman, everything she knew felt like it was dissolving, all swallowed up inside of that hole along with her achingly hard girlsword. Everything she thought she knew about pleasure faded away, replaced by this one singular sensation, and what was worse was that she was unable even to thrust up into the clowngirl, no matter how intensely her body insisted she should. Just as she was bound to this damnable chair on the clown’s home turf, so was she entirely under Harley Quinn’s control... and right now, there was truly no better place to be.

She could feel Quinn’s firm tits rub and slide against her own, nipples grinding and pressing to hers as the jester began to pump her hips up and down, forward and back, gripping and sliding her snug back hole along Diana’s shaft again and again, her pace increasing. Out of the corners of her eyes the amazon could watch those absurd pigtails bounce along with Quinn’s thrusts, could feel the firm, perky globes of the clown’s butt squish down into her lap when she’d take every last inch of Diana’s huge cock into her ass. It was a kind of heaven that Diana had never known existed. Now, even divinity seemed almost trivial as her tongue swirled around Harley’s, lips rubbing and squishing as she was locked in that desperate kiss, a lustful, thirsty embrace that Wonder Woman found herself returning to the absolute utmost of her ability.

“Hah... hah... hahh... hahhhhnnnnnnaAHHH!” Harley yelped, finally breaking the hard embrace and pulling up a little, tightly gripping the sides of the chair and planting her bare feet on Diana’s thighs, increasing her speed and her force now, crazed squeals somewhere between ecstasy and laughter shrieking out of her as she bounced up and down on the heroine’s cock, taking it up her ass again and again, breasts and pigtails bouncing in union now as she rode Diana for all she was worth.

Her scream was joined by a second, huskier one from Diana, a little lower, though the conflict was free from it -- in her bondage she had been liberated, and with her second climax, so came tumbling the walls she’d erected between Quinn and herself. This time there was no fireworks display, only a rifle-blast of hot cum that shot its way into the clown’s tight, spasming back tunnel in round after round, filling her before beginning to splurt out of her, making a mess of Diana’s lap as she overfilled the villainess who had been such a decidedly... gracious, hostess to her. And whether the act of being filled with godly seed had driven her over the edge, or this was only the zenith of a series of small climaxes, Harley’s eyes were now dilated, tongue lolling from her mouth as she drilled her backside down onto that huge cock, milking out every last drop of divine spunk from it as her body twitched and seized again and again, her chorus of moans, screams, and wild laughter not simmering down for several long moments that felt, to both women, like an eternity.

Screams, at long last, fell to panting, and Diana laid her head against the back of the chair, gasping for breath as Harley squished down into her lap, rotating her hips a few more times as if stirring the cream that had been fired into her backside. “That was fun,” the clowngirl finally said, a little giggle escaping her as she sat back up, leaning in to place a few light, loving kisses along the amazon’s lips, face, cheeks, throat, and shoulders. “I’d say Valentine’s Day wasn’t such a bust after all, huh?”

“I... I can’t believe how...” this time, there was no attempt to lie or hold back. Not like there was any point in it. “...Incredible, that was.”

“You’re tellin’ me,” Harley smirked, pulling up a little and finally uncorking herself from off of Diana’s dick, which flopped messily back across the amazon’s abs. “Gonna be a real shame to leave ya here. But can’t have any more capes on my tail than I already got.”

“W-wait, you’re...” Diana blinked, sitting up a little and watching the clown as she started to get dressed again. “You’re leaving me here? You’re leaving me tied up?”

“Course I am. I ain’t goin’ back to Arkham tonight.”

“I won’t do anything! I’m telling the truth! I must be!”

Harley smirked. “Yeah, yeah, you believe that now. No tellin’ how you’ll change your mind without Truthy McTruthRopes around ya. Give it some thought and then, uh...” she giggled in the doorway leading to the exit of the warehouse, licking one finger and then touching it to her backside with a hissing sound. “Make sure to come back to Gotham. Call me anytime you want...” another little pause as she made her way out of the building, now only a mallet-wielding silhouette against the moonlight. “...Puddin’.”