Important message for men. Sent to me by a female fan. Honest facts.

Couldnt have said it better

I had the same issue, my friend.

Thanks for your honesty about your experience and perspective with this guy. Before judging a woman for how she feels about a man, I remember this. I could meet a woman who is perfect for me in every way.... but if her face or body isn't a certain way I like, I'll never date her. How shitty is that? How shallow is that? So if a woman feels turned off by a man's unwillingness to acknowledge that many people are sh*tty, who an I to judge. She's being honest with herself. Thank you.

The only thing I take away from this is that if only this highly debatable and quite minor aspect of his personality was enough to be a deal breaker while all the rest was "perfectly" fine, dating is a real nightmare. Because it's already so hard to connect with a quality woman to begin with for most men, if on top of this you need to click everywhere in order for it to work it's like mission impossible.

Hugo Matiz

I went through this too. I left my wife and I lost all my shared friends and family and I had almost no support for a long time until I built my friend networks back up again with going out and playing sport. I also have the issue of I feel like I treat everyone well and I'm judgemental about how others aren't as ethical or good as me (logically I know this isn't true), I go out of my way to help people who have no one. My life is 100% better since I put effort into finding more guy friends and forming great friendships in general, I'm very careful not to inherit too many friends when entering a relationship any more, because if the relationship ends you're alone again. I think that's where he was coming from, I think I identify with his experience and feelings.

High quality or low quality. WTF! Objectification everywhere

Hristo

It sounds like the man is not a good judge of character. Someone once said that it's important that a person have an appropriate relation with one's family. A high-quality person should not be best buds with their low-quality family members, and vice versa. Since the ex cheated on him and her family took her side, that indicates none of them were high-quality people and he shouldn't want to spend time with any of them. The fact that he doesn't recognize this shows he's low-quality too.

Ryan Stallard

Holding the rest of the world to your own standards is going to drive you insane, because you'll be disappointed every day. Indignation is a natural reaction, but at some point you have to accept it - this is life, this is free will in action. She had her red flag pop up and she bolted - I'd say smart decision. If anyone has their red flag pop up and they ignore it, that's some silly, naïve shit.

Kadz

I appreciate this woman's honesty. This is reality lads. Suck it up and learn.

Just because you have morals it doesn't mean everyone else does too.

As far as it is written, the guy is wrong in his thinking. It would be easier for him to just focus his attention on people that value the same things that he values. He's going to have a lot of toxic people around otherwise and just have built up resentment that they aren't meeting his standards.

Hypergamy doesn't give two flying fucks about your moral code. Women don't understand morality the way men do because their world view is filtered through Hypergamy. Women always feel that every decision they make is correct at the time because it alligned with hypergamy. Real world consequences be damned. If women could make reality work for hypergamy, that would be awesome, but since that isn't the case, women need society to ennact social conventions that allign with prime female directive. What's funnier is how she claims she isn't a cynic, but employs cynical tactics to shit test the man. She is framing this as if SHE is the prize. That is laughable.

again, most women do not take ownership of what they're feeling/doing and be a victim.

I think there is a lot left out of her description. I had a somewhat similar thing happen to me. I adored my ex's family (they aren't perfect but I love them). My ex cheated on me while leaving me. Her family basically dropped me completely because I, too, am a truth speaker. Unlike this guy, I'm not overly hung up on it at all. They are people and make choices that have consequences, just like me. That's what life is. You can't get blood out of a turnip. I hope to build new bridges with the family starting with the more willing partners. Now, if he really is hung up on it then she has a point. My own fear personally is that women talk a good game about commitment, devotion, etc before they get married and have kids and then initiate over 70 percent of divorces once they get bored (so much for wedding vows, etc). Hypergamy doesn't care about kids, relationship equity, nothing! Solipsism rules! If you really want to drive a woman away, explain this to her and watch her scream!

Kent C Johnson

Yup, agreed!

I don’t know about this one. Seems like she’s just looking for an excuse to move on because things aren’t perfect. As someone mentioned above, it seems more like the fantasy got crushed and now it’s time to get back on the merry go round.

There's such a thing as being hypervigilant, but it's always a good idea to keep a handy dose of cynicism and street smarts when dealing with any person. I totally get where the girl is coming from...

Communicate With Confidence

She claims that they spent a lot of time together, often in deep conversation, right. She described him as "he is reserved, smart, empathetic, and extremely caring." note the adjunctive "extremely" cuz I'll go back to it. But then she is stunned by this expertly conceived naivity that had gone unnoticed, somehow, by that moment. To me the description she prescribed to him were projected onto by her own fantasies. They don't go along with the profound naivity she claims he has. I think she is genuine about that aspect of the story. There is nothing gut wrenching about this. She used the adjunctive extremely. Her reaction is extreme too, don't you think so? It is only gut wrenching because her fantasy about the white Knight was broken. This is confirmed by the next statement: "I think I am more vigilant than him, and I am not by nature a cynical person. Therefore, I will need to protect him in difficult social scenarios, and not the other way around.” To me she is just as naive as he is, only in different ways. I'm not gonna comment on this part - "No amount of gifts, nice gestures, “good nights”, frequency of contact, etc will make me un-feel this now." okay a little bit... That last part emphasises her great disappointment in all this. A victim? This behaviour is very prevalent in women today. Expect this girl to keep reliving the same story with different men

Hristo

Wonderful insight, thanks.

Blair

I mean, women in general are supposed to be more sociable - I don't see this as some generalised deep-rooted female biological instinct. I would have no problem taking the lead in difficult social situations with my fiance and he takes the lead in other areas. This is more just her own red flag for her future partner.

icedtea

AKA begone thot!

Timaeus

What a weak and pathetic naive little man who actually has bravely challenged his own internal temptations at self preservation and developed some silly nonsense like morals and integrity which he then stands firm to defend and even expect from others. Fear this man, all ye who are vile and slaves to self preservation. She runs becaused she fears the righteous condemnation of her own moral inefficiencies.

Timaeus

Blind me! I wrote an entire analysis and the app just did not post it. I'll have to shorten it this time

Hristo

Physical appearance can sometimes seem like a bad reason to not be with a girl but these are the evolutionary preferences we are stuck with

Alexander Grace

This seems like a terrible reason to no longer be interested in a guy.