Losing Sexual Attraction To Your Girlfriend Because She Keeps Saying No To Sex

Generally if a woman doesn't want sex with you it means you're not satisfying her. A horse cock man will almost always satisfy a woman, and I mean really satisfy, in which case they'l come to him not the other way round. Its a sad fact of life.

That's a really good point. The OP even mentioned that he felt like she 'gave in' some times to keep him around. Alexander makes a good point that sex should be a celebration. It should be one of the most joyful and fulfilling parts of a relationship. If it's a chore for her that she does begrudgingly, and only when she senses that he's losing interest, that feels like manipulation. Definitely not something I would sign up to live with for the next 5, 10, 20+ years! I think the OP needs to step back, reassess what he really wants and needs to be happy and healthy longterm... and get back into the dating scene. Just the fact that he's posting on reddit makes me think it's time for him to bust through the denial and move on!

Margaret

You bring up a good point about hormonal contraceptives. The first thing any man or woman should do if they have a diminished sex drive is to see their doctor and get a check up. Both men and women can have medical barriers to healthy libido and healthy sex.

Margaret

Wow... this is a tough one. Yes, some people have low sex drives. Yes, some people have trauma that impacts their sex drive. But I agree with Alexander that being uninterested in sex (a biological imperative) is NOT normal. If a sexual connection is lackluster at the beginning of the relationship, it is probably not going to improve. But if it starts strong and decreases without any other indications of stress or strife in the relationship, that is a real problem!

Margaret

We desperately need intelligent women here. When few men come together thinkering about women without an actual women, present in the discussion, nothing but large cocks come out of it.

Hristo

You she may never get pregnant if they so little sex as u suggest. Making babies is a sex dedication.

Hristo

He seems to be projecting his level of interest onto her to some extent. He considers her his dream girl, he may not be hers physically. A woman will sacrifice genuine sexual desire for a guy she perceives as "good husband material". I suspect that's what's going on here. This is possibly a "transactional sex" arrangement they have going on (she wants to keep him around as a good little beta provider and there's never been any genuine desire). Transactional sex sucks anyway, so what's the point if that's what's going on here...

Communicate With Confidence

Wow.. These thing don't apply to this particular case..

Hristo

I ve been there. It is due to pursuing too much, killing sexual attraction. Cool intro by the way 😎 quite cool Alexander 😉

I disagree. You take an all or nothing approach here. Not all women have the same sexual desire and the sad truth is in marriage women lose a lot of sex drive. Marital satisfaction is linked to women's desire. "Sex-Differentiated Changes in Sexual Desire Predict Marital Dissatisfaction" "Results demonstrated that women's sexual desire declined more steeply over time than did men's sexual desire, which did not decline on average. Further, childbirth accentuated this sex difference by partially, though not completely, accounting for declines in women's sexual desire but not men's. Finally, declines in women's but not men's sexual desire predicted declines in both partners' marital satisfaction"

Another possibility: Contraceptives. Some of them mess with a lady's sex-drive pretty seriously. There are many different kinds that can be tried. Yet another: The man is not making the effort to turn her on. Sometimes she just needs to be reminded of why she's attracted to you in the first place. Make her laugh / think / feel etc. But own the fact that you're horny - don't try to "sneakily" turn her on, 'cause she knows what you're up to. But yeah most important is to talk about it. Sometimes she just might be embarrassed to talk about sex, but it has to be done.

I disagree with Alex's advice to give her space if you love her. The question is whether you love yourself or not. Very simple and hard to look at. If you do love yourself there can only be one outcome. You will put your foot down and not accept this shit. You should ask yourself "why I am allowing this".

Hristo

Women, often withdraw sex because they demand a committed. Others use a man for his status, ie money and so on but aren't interested or attracted to the man as much, hence the minimal effort. This is less common but it happens. I also have questions: is she pretty? How pretty? Age? Trauma is as more physiological than it is psychological. She might have one set of belief that a healthy in relation to sex but IN the act itself they she will dissociated the experience. The trauma can be cognitive or somatic, or both. I can talk about the research studies behind but they only confirm my own experience in life and Therapy. Usually women who are traumatised as horny as you are but when sex arrives, the act itself triggeres a somatic response(likely), the body switches off. She does not know why. She may not even realise it is happening, which is very likely. When this is the case she will blatantly deny she isn't interested but the opposite and try to prove you because she cares. However, in your case trauma may not the predominant factor. To answer this question you simply have know what she wants from life. What are here goals. You don't have to ask her what she wants from you. U can start with career questions, the rest will automatically follow. When I want to talk about sex with a female I go about it sideways. I ask what movies she like, what food she likes. I may complement her on her dress code. All these things are associated with dating but they aren't direct so she will not figure where I'm going with those questions. Ask her just don't ask direct questions about the thing you wanna know about.

Hristo

This happened to me once. While I have a good understanding of why, it is not my problem. This is how the conversation began and subsequently ended. "You are holding out on sex, u obviously enjoy sex(she does not denying verbally or nonverbally ). This are putting me off. Don't do it again." I was aware she was not going to do it. So all ended there. I ended it because I won't ask no one to change for me. Better to go. Only that in this case she went. I cannot not be bought or manipulated with sex or good looks. My mother is an attractive woman and I had indirectly learn never to use good looks and charms to manipulate, to gain unfair advantage intentionally. So I can't Co exist with someone who does this in close relationship. Women who behave this way do not go near me. Be an uncompromising person and the ugly will avoid you. We attract what we are.

Hristo