NSFW: Fuck Buddy Arrangements Lead to Better Orgasms?

Hey, I think quite similar. As a man I had several interactions with women, which where obviously casual and after some time, let it be days, months or years, it starts hurting me retrospectively (!), as I feel like a used object, easily seduced and replaced after some time. And that even inspite of the fact, that I was the one to end it most of the times! I still get those offers, they name it "polyamory" as it sounds a bit more noble, and meanwhile I get disgusted beforehand, as all my heart is seeking for is a loving, monogamous woman at my side.

That has got to be the most awkward assemblage of expletives I have ever heard... 🤣🤣🤣

Margaret

I don't believe there is such a thing as casual sex and it's definitely not viable in the long run. By assuming the existence of casual sex, we make the sexual act casual, we assume sex is casual. And by saying that, it means it can be divorced from other walks of life: emotions, values, financial life, intellectual life, psychology... among others. By having a casual relationship, you lower the value of your casual partner to that of a provider of transient pleasure. So you reduce a person to the mere pleasure of a short-lived period of sexual interactions. The problem is that I don't think it's separable from the emotions and one partner will probably start to have feelings for the other one. Once you have established that sex was casual while it's a deep experience strongly related to love in my sense, why wouldn't you do that for other things that are important to you, that has VALUE for you, perhaps you become cynical about life ? I don’t know. Then your life doesn’t make sense anymore since the only value you can give to life (life being inherently absurd) is through the act of loving, not specifically a person, you can love your work and you therefore place value in it, it is meaningful to you. Your free will enables you to confer value to things that are intrisically unworthy of anything. Well this was a philosophical stance about casual sex. 
 Let’s dive into the more scientific, biologic view of casual sex. Sex has, as far as I can see, 3 roles: procreation, pleasure, bonding. The third one is of interest right now since woman release oxytocin during sex which create a bond and is qualified of “love hormone”. And it works life a virtuous circle since the more you have sex the more you release it. In addition, during ejaculation, a cocktail of different hormones is released into the brain; this mixture can enhance the bond and sense of closeness with the partner; it helps couples establish a sense of intimacy and attachment. Oxytocin, with dopamine and norepinephrine, would therefore be as important to your relationship... as the sexual interaction that preceded their secretion. I don’t know exactly the proportion of released oxytocin during sex between man and woman but it is here. Well, it’s quite logical that nature makes us release this type of hormone since it participates to procreation and it ensures sustainability of human species. Moreover, I don’t believe the biological role of man is to sow his seeds to as many woman as possible, no, he needs his kid to survive. Properly surviving in this world means receiving the adequate education in order to live on your own and you need probably a 20 years-old education for that, otherwise you end up very badly. And you can see the damage a divorce cause in a family for example, kids are very much hurt if not traumatised. Well that’s not the subject and you can just answer by: I will marry afterwards but I want to have a lot of sex now. And you get back to my more “philosophical” argument which places very high value in the deep experience that sex is. Perhaps sex should be restricted to emotional relationships or even only for marriage ? I don’t know. I would be glad to continue debating and to hear your opinion about all of that. I apologise if I deviated from the topic but I had to write that somewhere :D

Joachim