When Should You Ask A Woman Out? PATREON EXCLUSIVE
Added 2020-03-16 04:35:44 +0000 UTC
Comments
One of your best vids! I’d add that this particular case is likely doomed to fail, because he cannot fulfill her hypergamy on even an intellectual level & she will likely never find him worthy of anything serious as a result.
RhodiumMaiden
2022-09-19 23:52:14 +0000 UTCTo be honest with you, I am quite pessimistic about the room for maneuver you have to act on these things. Either you are from the start a high-quality man with the right genetic makeup, which will in turn naturally leads to more successful social interactions and a person who is well-adapted and able to become wealthy/network easily, or you are average looking and you need to work hard to try and catch-up the top tier guys and get a piece of the cake. The thing is, the hard work you put, the high-quality man can do it as well, and the idea that somehow you can ascend seems questionable at the very least. So, in my deterministic view and especially in today's environment where women have it so easy, I think it's almost impossible to get a true high-quality woman by just working on yourself as an average person because 1. They will be picked up rapidly by more physically/intellectually gifted guys as you say and 2. hypergamy makes it such that they will look for the whole package and any significant flaw will have you discarded. So in the end, you can work your ass off but you have no guarantee to succeed in the task of mating with them and it will most likely be an uphill battle about having more to offer than others. I am not even talking about ugly dudes who are quite hopeless no matter what they can do.
Hugo Matiz
2020-03-20 19:24:26 +0000 UTCNo, the Low-Quality woman goes to college for vocational training now. The High-Quality woman goes to get her Mrs. Degree (she earns her degree, often getting high marks, and maybe even uses it for a year or two. But the second she has the option of a family, she drops her career and chooses family). An independent career woman may be an impressive person, but I think you'll find she makes a poor woman. The keyword is "yet". Part of him demonstrating that potential is the ability to pass his classes and knowing how to network. The High-Quality women I knew in college all married independent and very smart or just smart and somewhat wealthy men (none of whom were ugly). None of these women got married until after she and her future partner had graduated, and they didn't seriously date or at least consider marriage until their senior year. Yes, my vision is archaic. But "archaic" means very old, which means shaped by evolution, which means set in biology. Alexander's videos are based on evolutionary psychology, and I don't think our views on that differ all that much. We may differ on a few points of application, but I think we agree on most things, including rejecting the liberal "independent women" views constantly being pushed on us by society because these views don't fit the science.
Ryan Stallard
2020-03-20 13:07:42 +0000 UTCThe woman also goes to college for vocational training now. She is not trying to commit to some guy just yet and depend on him as she has been sold the idea that she can be this independent working career woman. Thus, you are not wasting her time by being in a relationship with her. Also, if you are the right fit, it's not about the money, she will see through your potential and commit to it although you cannot actually provide yet. There is more to say but to me your vision is quite archaic and disconnected from realities.
Hugo Matiz
2020-03-20 12:46:44 +0000 UTCGenerally men go to college for vocational training so they can earn money and eventually provide for a family. I thought this was common knowledge. Yes, men usually do get married a few years older than women. Yes, his value as a man is directly linked to his ability to provide, just as a woman's value is directly linked to her ability to bear children (note: I am not saying exclusively). Now, that doesn't mean as people they don't provide value to society and friends in other ways, but the value linked to their gender is determined by what sets the genders apart. I think a High-Quality woman expects everything a Low-Quality woman does. Two important differences are that a High-Quality woman has much higher standards and can see through the deception of Low-Quality men. However, a High-Quality woman is still a woman and has the drives and desires of a woman. I never even implied I wasn't willing to experience intimate relationships. I just think a High-Quality man would not devalue women by seeing them as a line of experiences. Besides, if you are trying to build up experiences with Low-Quality women, then you run the risk of being ruined by them and never getting to experience a lasting relationship with a High-Quality woman. And if she is a High-Quality woman, you would be stupid not to keep her, as they are so few and far between. Marriage is a legal issue and somewhat of a separate topic. I think you can be committed to someone without being legally married.
Ryan Stallard
2020-03-20 12:27:36 +0000 UTCGetting ready = making money ? He could wait for a long time if that's the case. Also you suggest that he wouldn't be able to keep her otherwise which means that men can only have value as being a provider but not for who they are ? Your line of thinking is really puzzling. Maybe you are blackpilled without even knowing it (i.e admitting that looks or money are the only real things to attract women, and in the 2nd case she is not even attracted to you directly). I think you shouldn't pass on opportunities to experience intimate relationships if it's possible for you, just because you aren't going to keep and marry the girl doesn't mean it's not gonna be meaningful or mutually beneficial.
Hugo Matiz
2020-03-20 11:16:27 +0000 UTCOk, so not matter what you'd "rather" you do still want to continue this discussion. Good parents will usually advise their kids not to date seriously in college for the very reasons I outlined and that you are referring to. The point is to make him realize he's not ready yet, and to focus on getting ready rather than chasing after girls who will see the same thing the parents see and lowering his self-esteem through rejection, or causing him to not succeed because he was accepted and now is splitting his attention. "Getting experiences" is code for "not really trying" and "just playing around". If you really try and fail, you will get experience naturally. However, if experience is the goal, it means you don't really plan to succeed, which, when you are dealing with another person, is really wasting their time. Remember, for women, college age is prime for finding a long-term partner. For men, it really isn't. So, taking up a woman's time who could find someone to marry with your time while just being after experience is not being high-quality yourself.
Ryan Stallard
2020-03-20 01:51:55 +0000 UTCThen why are you bothering about him "keeping her" and "providing resources for a spouse" if they are just in college. He is obviously just trying to get experiences. You have to start somewhere.
Hugo Matiz
2020-03-19 18:45:41 +0000 UTCThat's not how the burden of proof works: "What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." By my count (hard to get exact without seeing the punctuation), he spent 4 out of the 11 sentences talking about how impactful the loss of the Chemistry girl would be. That's much more than one sentence and over one-third of his message. If he's taking chemistry classes, he is probably a Freshman or Sophomore in college. It is not farfetched to assume a person at that age cannot provide for a spouse. At that age they usually can't even provide for themselves and are relying on parents and/or school loans. Then why did you respond to my comment? If you want to create your own discussion, go ahead. My comment was for the side point I mentioned. The rest of the forum is open for discussion of the video's main topic.
Ryan Stallard
2020-03-19 03:09:04 +0000 UTCDo you have evidence your aren't ? You are nitpicking over one sentence and drawing the conclusion that he doesn't have the resources to care for the girl which is far-fetched. I'd rather discuss the substance of his issue (when to ask out and how) instead of making assumptions about the side story.
Hugo Matiz
2020-03-19 02:45:10 +0000 UTCThe use of the words "actually" and "more" in the first sentence indicated I already knew it wasn't the point and was bringing up another. "You are over interpreting it" is an assertion, do you have evidence? It doesn't matter all that much what he wanted or was concerned with when he has more basic concerns to be worried about and taken care of first. Based on what he said, even if he succeeded in attracting the girl, he was unlikely to keep her. He needs to make sure he can hold onto the girl once he attracts her.
Ryan Stallard
2020-03-18 01:18:42 +0000 UTCYou are over interpreting it, it's not the point of the video and I doubt he is truly that concerned about this, he probably just wanted to give a bit of context he knows her from classes.
Hugo Matiz
2020-03-17 16:57:29 +0000 UTCI was actually more worried about the Chemistry comments. If one girl that helps you is all that stands between failure and success, you do not yet have the resources to care for a girl. What happens if you get the romantic girl you like, but then the Chemistry girl moves on? Now you have a girlfriend but can't pass your classes, which is going to make you much less attractive. Also, why is this girl the only one who can figure out the problems? Have you not developed a relationships with the professor who might be writing recommendation letters for you later? If not, you need to work on your networking skills. It seems like you may not be ready for a long-term relationship yet.
Ryan Stallard
2020-03-17 05:04:16 +0000 UTC
