PATREON EXCLUSIVE: How To Be A High Quality Man
Added 2020-05-18 05:17:35 +0000 UTC
Comments
Real men follow fashion? I think not.
Samuel Claiborne
2022-04-26 20:24:44 +0000 UTChas someone could recommend me any book about "processing emotions"?
Danilo Oré Parra
2020-12-31 00:41:05 +0000 UTCFor fashion follow Ashley Weston @awxinc she's a stylist for male celebrities
Devin Barnes
2020-08-05 18:16:25 +0000 UTCYeah, I've thought exhaustively about this, being an INTP and all (unlike INTJ which operates quickly via intuition, we operate slowly via building comprehensive mental models). When it comes to male attractiveness, you really need to start with fundamentals, by which I mean physique, style, and frame (i.e. the visual filters that one must pass to even be noticed by a woman, and "earn the right" to be subjected to further filters/shit tests). I always recommend starting by getting jacked, as power emanates from the center, and there are many spillover benefits, but primarily because muscularity predicts 70% of physical attraction (Alex has an excellent vid on this point). I then recommend committing to a style, ANY style that isn't "basic bitch", which of course includes grooming. Finally, frame is critically important, and working on this will require a significant amount of study (I agree with Alex that frame is most usually hindered by ignorance, so learning female psychology is absolutely necessary). Style/grooming can be addressed immediately, but the others straight up require 2-3 years to master. So be patient and don't avoid the work (i.e. look for shortcuts on the basis of the existence of outliers).
William Mullen
2020-06-08 05:00:07 +0000 UTCThis was really good stuff thank you for this.
SnowDragonCQC
2020-05-23 05:43:24 +0000 UTCMaxx, you raise a really good issue. I've thought about that a lot too. I haven't come to many definitive conclusions... yet :) I, too, started with straightforward things like walking at a more relaxed pace, increasing my eye contact with people, remembering to sometimes speak in the lower register of my voice, stand up straight with my shoulders back, etc. Whatever masculinity and feminity are, they can't be the same. Otherwise they are meaningless. That's why I reject definitions like Brian's as unhelpful: "knowing what your passion is and being confident in yourself".
Blair
2020-05-20 18:21:09 +0000 UTCReally, really good stuff Alex. Thanks.
Blair
2020-05-20 18:16:48 +0000 UTCRead the Stoics, Marcus Aurelias, Seneca, etc. Meditations is amazing. Here is an excerpt: "Think of your many years of procrastination; how the gods have repeatedly granted you further periods of grace, of which you have taken no advantage. It is now time to realize the nature of the universe to which you belong, and of that controlling Power whose offspring you are; and to understand that your time has a limit set to it. Use it then, to advance your enlightenment; or it will be gone, and never in your power again. "
Paul Meade
2020-05-18 21:53:39 +0000 UTCAlso I feel as though being comfortable to show more feminine aspects of oneself has become a “masculine” trait, at least to a certain point.
Brian Bae
2020-05-18 20:13:25 +0000 UTCAlso, I think although masculinity and femininity definitely have their innate differences, a quality of both a high quality man and woman is the idea that they have their purpose in life and know themselves. When you said a trait such as being compassionate may not be considered “masculine”, I think it definitely can be. A leader needs to be compassionate, and being a leader is most definitely masculine. At the end of the day, displaying your personality while knowing your worth and not sacrificing your worth for others can determine if a trait is considered feminine or masculine.
Brian Bae
2020-05-18 20:02:28 +0000 UTCHey! I’ve definitely thought about this a lot. According to the Myers-Briggs test, I am an ENFP. Many ENFPs are characterized by many feminine traits, such as overthinking, being more compassionate, empathetic, needing validation from others, etc. I’ve struggled with this dilemma of masculinity since I was a little kid. I think many of the traits you’ve described as “masculine” are the result of toxic masculinity, something we’ve been engrained into us from the media and our role models. I’ve seen very masculine men who are not aggressive or disagreeable, but instead have a way of being comfortable in themselves to not feel the need to win over others. At the end of the day, being competitive with others and being aggressive in my opinion can show a lack of confidence, and you’re compensating for that by overly projecting your confidence. I think at the end of the day, I characterize being masculine as knowing what your passion is and being confident in yourself. Whatever your personality is, as each has it flaws and strengths, try working on fixing those traits that might come as a detriment to your well being, whether it be masculine or feminine. Being comfortable with yourself while constantly working to improve all aspects of your lifestyle/habits will only strengthen the good pets of your personality for you to seem as authentic and confident as possible.
Brian Bae
2020-05-18 19:56:10 +0000 UTCHey Alexander, the piece about making peace with your past and having a meaningful future to strive for really reminded me of this Jordan Peterson website https://www.understandmyself.com/ Would highly recommend for anyone here looking to do that work. Cheers!
Oliver Brossmann
2020-05-18 15:05:19 +0000 UTCWould love to see a roadmap one could follow for different aspects of life, such as finance, fashion, people skills, etc. Or at least recommendations of good books and channels in what is an absolutely overwhelming sphere.
Ruairidh
2020-05-18 11:52:54 +0000 UTCHey, I have a question for everyone. In terms of developing a more masculine personality, aren't certain personality types going to be better equipped for being perceived as more "masculine"? depending on what personality model you're using, Masculine traits would roughly map onto something as someone who is disagreeable, competitive, aggressive, dominant, and uses direct language as opposed to insinuating what they want. However, we all have very different personalities and such, it is not reasonable for all men who strive to be high quality to completely try to change their personality to match the Masculine personality archetype. For example, how would one adopt masculine traits, but still retain certain desirable ones, i.e, if you are humorous, or if you have a genuine compassionate side to you, etc? I've started working on my tone of voice and sounding more masculine. Not necessarily a deeper voice, but a more direct and assertive tone. I've picked up weird speaking habits from absorbing other people's mannerisms, and i've practiced recording about my day just to have some feedback on how i'm doing. Has anyone else thought about this?
Max
2020-05-18 06:02:34 +0000 UTCIf you ever feel out of work, just remember this could always be a long term project that so many of us would really appreciate your thoughts on. I’ve always felt this term ‘high quality man’ to be a bit abstract and beyond my understanding. I guess I’ll get the practical steps elsewhere. But if there’s anything more you have on this subject I’d love to hear it!
Oliver
2020-05-18 05:37:36 +0000 UTC
