Tinder Experiment Bonus: Full Debriefing Interview
Added 2020-05-21 09:33:16 +0000 UTC
Comments
Hi from Bonn region, nice to see another German on here. Interesting thoughts on the biochemistry - I think you are on the right track.
RhodiumMaiden
2022-04-19 20:31:24 +0000 UTCOn a biochemical level, it may be some form of dopamine addiction; while men on average seem to be set on a serotonine decrease by dating apps. (Not really firm in the area but my understanding being that dopamine is for short-term highs, and serotonine being connected to one's overall feel-good level.)
Al Hel
2021-04-17 19:50:11 +0000 UTCAt least that's what I seem to observe over here in Berlin.
Al Hel
2021-04-17 19:44:30 +0000 UTCI don't know if there's any studies about this but my suspicion is that on average girls/young women on tinder follow their most basic tendencies. They may say they ("finally") want a quality quy , "no ONS" etc. but in the end they'll more often than not hook up with some dangerous looking, russian-prison, devilmaycare type . Afterwards they may feel bad, and/or have problems with the dude (for example types like that may well ghost her after one night, and seing as usually men don't do that, she'll be hooked although she knows its stupid), but when they do this regularly they may find themselves in a trap where they don't know how to interact with a normal, half-way decent person anymore. Or it just doesn't get them the same "kick".
Al Hel
2021-04-17 19:44:09 +0000 UTCI posted my last comment about half way thru the video.. times it by 10! hahaha
Adam Winter
2021-03-12 09:35:55 +0000 UTCyour face is hilarious during her replies. Put a big smile on my face having experienced Tinder fresh off a 7 year relationship and dumped.
Adam Winter
2021-03-12 09:31:27 +0000 UTCOooooh... I hope Alex digs into this paradox further in a video. Great point!
Margaret
2020-06-02 23:38:17 +0000 UTCI'm surprised that she wasn't aware that "hi" is ineffective based on her own experience as a woman. I'd have thought that she's think "ok, I hate it when guys send me nothing but a greeting, and only reply to somewhat creative messages that show an effort, so I'm going to stand out when posing as a guy."
William Mullen
2020-06-01 19:58:30 +0000 UTCBest thing you could do is leave those apps. Don't date a chick unless you've met her in person. Online is the worst way to meet someone
ScruffyCanuck
2020-05-30 06:31:26 +0000 UTCThe absolute best thing that could be done, is men just leave dating apps completely. But men don't work together, so that will never happen
ScruffyCanuck
2020-05-30 06:28:51 +0000 UTCI did a similar thing. I created a female account on PoF to see how the system worked. I was getting NO responses at all, and I was wondering if there was something wrong with the site. Within the first hour of creating the account, I had over 100 messages. I used a "cute" girl as my profile pic, just some random photo from the net. I had like 70 "hey" "hi" messages, all the way up to one guy offering me $2000 to "stick it in all holes". I think this should be mandatory for both sexes to do, in order to get a better understanding of what it's like.
ScruffyCanuck
2020-05-30 06:27:21 +0000 UTCIt was so enjoyable and heartwarming to hear about her feelings going through this. Thanks so much to her and Alex for this. What a lovely gal she is to participate in this and then empathize so well.
Blair
2020-05-24 05:31:26 +0000 UTCAt least the other woman can see what it is like to be a man ,cause trust me it is like hell we go through just and woman in europe think that men are disposable that is right .
mack-mc
2020-05-22 04:09:46 +0000 UTCI can also explain the Brazilian women thing - in Brazil sexuality is much more open and hooking up / casual sex carries no stigma. In Portugal there's still a big social price to pay for women being sexually open, so they hook up but are extremely picky on the context / situation - that's also why there are many foreign women in "our" Tinder, Portuguese women like to keep it on the down low. Combine that with a culture that has matriarchal influences and cultural marxism / feminism running rampant (we are a predominantly socialist country) and women were put on a pedestal, encouraging this idea of being entitled / overly demanding / picky. Brazilian women that come here stand out a lot because they aren't afraid to be sexual. There's also the case of the middle aged / divorced guys who get a Brazilian mistress (because she actually “puts out” and does everything in bed) and re-marry / leave their wives and have a kid with her, thus locking them (and their money and citizenship) down. 25-35 average/fat Brazilian women with 40-60yo Portuguese men has become a stereotype in our culture due to uncontrolled immigration and the older rigid sexuality of the Portuguese culture.
Polygon Masterworks
2020-05-21 16:05:45 +0000 UTCI think that's part of her shock, she didn't realize guys need to stand out in all areas to even get mild interest from average females. Women say "just say hi and don't do funny pick-up lines" but the truth is, like the PUA guys say "good game works".
Polygon Masterworks
2020-05-21 15:07:53 +0000 UTCYou picked a good location for this, I'm portuguese and live in Lisbon and let me tell you, Portuguese women are LEGENDARY for being hard to pick up, flakey, and generally entitled. Specially in Lisbon, which is the capital of the country and richest city, I think it has something to do with social and financial status, because in other parts of the country (like up north at Porto) the people - both men and women - are more casual and friendlier.
Polygon Masterworks
2020-05-21 15:04:52 +0000 UTCStatistics show that there are much more men on those dating apps than women. Therefore the competition for men is much higher and it is consequently harder for men on these apps. It is simple market economics and men shouldn't whine or complain about it. I feel that with these "men have it harder on dating apps" discussions we are only scratching the surface and don't really get to the core of the problem. I think the real injustice comes with the way we frame these gender-specific challenges. Here is a hypothesis: reaching C-level management position is hard and requires skills/commitment which men expose more on average when compared to women. Therefore more men show up in these positions. It also could be framed as simple market economics. But that's not whats happening. It is framed as the result of patriarchy and oppression of women. For some reason, market economics or the survival of the fittest idea is ok with dating but not with our work life.
David Koerner
2020-05-21 13:21:23 +0000 UTCbtw, that girl is a 10 for inner beauty - in other words she is hot!! and may the Brazilian girls reign
Marek Szumlas
2020-05-21 12:50:36 +0000 UTCSo it looks like Tinder might be ok for connecting low quality females to low quality males. Would that make a good ad for Tinder?
Marek Szumlas
2020-05-21 12:39:59 +0000 UTCAs a 100th reset banned average looking guy, your friend did a good job but an awful one, let’s take into account females get hey, hi, how are u daily. Your messages have to stand out a bit, which your friend did not help with. Two, you are better looking, more socially acceptable than any other guy( that includes your pics). I get 5-10 matches when I go into tinder, then my profile dies. You could actually score a hottie on tinder if you improved your strategies. All based on experience from tinder, I have reset 100 times n gotten banned twice. Tinder is about screening, your bio will polarize those not interested.
Nester Reyes
2020-05-21 10:50:07 +0000 UTCJup, the ghosting is real ^^
rumlyne
2020-05-21 10:37:53 +0000 UTCHit a bit hard to home. 24 y/o, have a house, a good job, great family, great circle of friends, enacting plans for my future. And I'm astonished that I feel as though I have absolutely no power on these dating apps. I've even done professional modeling and have a good physique! (I'm not jacked, but at least I have lean/toned muscle). Now I've spent a good deal of time on Tinder and it really gets to you mentally. I'll be honest, I ghost every now and again. I get these regrets of lowering my standards. And I know they're human, and I got their hopes up, and shame on me for doing that. That's not respectful. But I feel as though that lends some insight. I don't have a huge ego, but I 100% have one, I am human. What if women have the same issue as me, but much higher standards? Like, they'll entertain the idea for a few messages, then feel as though they can do better so they ghost. That's why we might see those dry messages. Situational-Female: "Oh he's ~kinda~ cute, and has a good job, not really Mr. Perfect, who I'm looking for, but we'll see what he has to say." Then comes a conversation where it's her just being completely reactionary. {End of 3am tangent)
Konrad Wright
2020-05-21 10:05:30 +0000 UTCThank you Alex!
Ebrahim Ali
2020-05-21 09:44:33 +0000 UTC
