PATREON EXCLUSIVE: In Your Mid 40's And Still Wanting Children?
Added 2020-05-24 08:57:17 +0000 UTC
Comments
Nice video and while I understand how Alex states we need to compromise as we are not at our SMV peak anymore I feel this is exactly not the time to compromise on the qualities you are looking for. Compromising now would defeat the purpose of waiting and delaying having a family and sacrificing to reach where we are in life. I will keep looking for a couple more years and if I come up short, then I am looking abroad.
Frank Harris
2023-03-08 02:42:32 +0000 UTCGet her tested. 35 is not the serious cutoff. 40, and; especially 42+, are.
RhodiumMaiden
2022-04-28 08:13:05 +0000 UTCIf you're a man looking to start a family you're not going to pick a woman older than 35 on the off chance that she is one of the rare women with high quality eggs, you're going to give yourself the best shot and choose a younger woman if you're dating, obviously it's different if you have a long term partner and then decide to try for kids later.
Jonathan Lambert
2022-04-27 21:39:11 +0000 UTCI disagree about women in their 30s being more stable, there is normally a reason why women find themselves single in their 30s. Not always, what you need to look at is how long their past relationships lasted and if they're constantly badmouthing their exes, that's a sign they're toxic!
Jonathan Lambert
2021-12-01 14:47:08 +0000 UTCI'm not sure you're right on this. There are plenty of age gap relationships with an older man and a younger woman. On older man normally has access to more resources and has more experience and that can make them a more attractive option as a father. Mick Jagger springs to mind. There is also a thing where women tend to look for qualities that remind them of their fathers in a partner (the inverse is true too). If having children is the aim, choosing a woman closer to his age would make that almost impossible to happen. Unlike him, she does have a hard cut off and by her early 30s she has already lost the vast majority of her viable eggs. She is much more likely to have a miscarriage or a child or a child with genetic abnormalities. There is a good reason why women in their mid 30s are considered geriatric when it comes to reproduction. Yes, there's IVF but that's very expensive and has a very high failure rate. I think it would be bad advice to tell him to date a woman in her early 30s if he has a desperate desire to be a father. Secondly, the women that concentrated on a career in their younger years assuming that they could have it all and have a child later are pretty desperate and do not make good partners. Once they have what they want, the child, you are no longer necessary. Avoid these women, they're not high quality!
Jonathan Lambert
2021-12-01 14:32:55 +0000 UTCHi Alex. Nice video. I thought I'd comment here because I'm in the situation that your video is referring to. I'll be 44 soon, no kids, never married... long story. The option for having a family that most appeals to me is the socially shunned option of marrying a young woman from a different country. There is a social stigma around 'sleazy' old men marrying young beauties from South East Asia and I think when older men are considering options it's worth honestly asking yourself if you actually have a problem with the idea of marrying a 20 year old from Bali or if it's just because of society's negative perception of it. You mention in the video Alex that you have to compromise on something. In my case I feel that I would be compromising on the kind of 'high school sweethearts' relationship that only seems to be possible by getting into relationships when you're both quite young, and going instead for a more traditional role as husband/provider. As a 40+ man I can tell you that most women in their 30s want kids now and it constantly feels like I'm the guy they settle for. There is not a lot of passion or romance. I have no interest in raising children that aren't my biological kin as that's half the desire for me. When I explored my options it did seem that this was the best options and the longer I live outside of Western countries the more I see how traditional marriages can function well. You might not have a great 'friendship' or heaps in common, which seems so important for people in the West, but it can really work to create a family. The one thing I disagree with you is that I don't think you should compromise on looks. Being physically attracted to a woman is very important and I couldn't imagine being in love without it. Anyway that's my 2 cents; Society will praise you if you marry an older single mother and take on her kids as your own, it will praise you if you foster or adopt, and society will shame you if you marry a young foreign beauty, so just be honest with yourself about what you really want, society be damned.
tarik
2020-07-06 14:34:52 +0000 UTCThis was actually a really good video but my only critique is you left out the option of meeting a woman his age and adopting a child (if she doesn’t have any) because then it’s just as much of her child as it is yours.
Super Saiyan Trunks
2020-05-27 21:58:00 +0000 UTCWow Alexander. Ver very ver honest reply. In other words, one should be able to indentify his options of success, based on their current situation.
oschicus
2020-05-24 10:14:31 +0000 UTCThere isn't any rule about when one should or shouldn't have children. It is more far important to find a woman who is a high quality woman. The worst situation is to be separated or divorced and have kids from these relationships. Women in their early thirties are a lot more bombproof and stable. There are places in the world where relationships between a younger woman and an older man with a big age gap are not uncommon like Colombia. This stigma is largely a product of a western lifestyle(while there is some variation to accommodate personal tastes) with it's emphasis on conforming to similarity not complementarity.
Max
2020-05-24 09:25:14 +0000 UTC
