PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Dating A Woman Who Has Slept With More People Than You Have

If you were self absorbed, you would consider your future and not be promiscuous. Self absorption doesn't explain promiscuity. You had low self esteem and sought validation.

I would consider just not being honest with her. I was honest with mine about not having many partners before her and she lost a great deal of attraction for me, laughed in my face and screamed at me the next morning. or just "say a gentleman never tells"

Adding to what Alexander said around 6:30 about childhood sexual trauma, it can be a relief when a woman gets over it and it can cause a bout of promiscuity at that point. I had sex at 5 and 6 yrs, and when I was with my first long term bf, at age 15, I remember the anxiety I felt my first time with him. I had to figure out what would a virgin do or say, how do I pretend I dont know what I'm doing, and if I masturbate during he's going to think I've done this before (which of course i had). And since I already knew I could only orgasm by masturbating, I thought my only option was to fake it. This went on for a couple years until we went to college and broke up. Holy cow, when I ffinally had sex with someone else, and realized I didnt have to pretend to be a virgin, or have shame about masturbating, it was such a relief, I just couldn't say no to any man who propositioned me. I was so happy to just be free to enjoy sex without fear of being judged by my partner. The problem was I didnt want to slow down. It was so easy, it didn't take long before I got lazy and selfish and I started doing it even when I was in a relationship. So then I became a serial cheater. While childhood trauma may have been contributory, I certainly dont consider that to be the real reason for my promiscuity. I think it was just being too self-absorbed. At least, that's how it happened for me.

Jennifer Coopman

I’m not so sure that the issue of being a male virgin really matters that much at all unless she is one that believes in “sexual compatibility” (the idea that this is a fixed personality rather than a dynamic part of ones identity). I’ve done surveys in the past where I painted the context of an attractive, got-his-shit-together, successful, funny guy, a generic ideal from a woman’s perspective, then asked women how they felt about the guy being “a virgin because of personal beliefs ultimately being that he wanted to save himself for marriage”. The majority of responses I got were positive, very few were negative. Interestingly enough the main feature within the positive response was “I would have trouble believing him at first but if it were true, I would really respect him for that but to be honest I think I would also find it hard not to see it as a challenge either” On one hand they respected his values yet at the same time felt to try and break him in that way, a sort of fetishisation of “he gave in //to me// “ in the same way many women fetishise men opening up to them to reveal emotions (only for the guy to be sappy and weak in how he did it creating the opposite of a bonding moment). It was fascinating to have the women response with this “is take it as a challenge and find it hard not to try and push the envelope”

Craig

Yes i once thought the same way, then i had a reality check. If there is no consequence to a person's actions then why change at all? If in the end she is going to get that bata male provider, then why not be promiscuous? I personally dont care if she is a vergin. I do care if im the last person on earth to ride the bike. At that point there is no intimacy. Same thing with only fans, if everyone knows what she looks like then there isnt anything special for you. Yes there are exceptions to the rule, but they should only come aroud 0.01% of the time. And since every man thinks they have that 0.01%, the rule is you dont date promiscuous women. By telling them this info and then telling them to double down on making more money, you are setting them up for failure.

Agree on why women will justify sleeping around. When i further question them on their pure emotional motives this is the answer i can conclude. They didnt like that i questioned them bc it exposed that they were insecure and they dont want to admit this. They just want to feel good in anything they do. Those women do not live in reality. You live in reality when you know exactly why your motivated to do something. Own up to it and change your actions if you wish to do so.

I think that the BEST way Will be being Direct and honest. It is your right to make an informed decision about if It is worth to start to build something with someone. It is your own future with it is in Game. If she does not understand this, then she is not the right one.

oschicus

I really liked that sentence/quote!: "You wouldn't hold somebody's past against them when you know it isn't going to be their future." This applies to us and everyone else too, especially when it comes to forgiveness.

Ashwin Srinivas

Great post. Specifically I wonder what is the best way to go about asking them about their past count? I figure you could either just be very non-judgmental and ask directly. Or you could just ask about number of dates and bf's in the past and then approximate the number (and that's really what you want anyway). I would just want to know that they weren't out getting used and abused. Being open sexually with several high quality bf's over the years is no problem at all imo.