PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Dating When You Have Children But Don't Want Any More

In my opinion, there can be another type of woman that might be willing to date a man that already has children, but doesn't want more: It's the woman that is either infertile, or might pass on some genetic illness and doesn't want to risk bringing beings that will suffer their entire lives to this world.

I know Alexander is not a big fan of dating apps but navigating this one is fairly easy using them as preference regarding kids is usually one of the few snippets of info given beside the pics...

Andy

My boyfriend and I fall into the 3rd category. Before I met him, I identified the same options (discarding #1 because I can't imagine casually dating a younger man, especially without some common understanding of parenthood). I met and dated several guys in category 2 and 3 before I met him. I would definitely say to take your time... don't rush... and be completely honest up front (within the first few dates, before you get physical) so the other party can make their own decision about what they want before becoming emotionally invested.

Margaret

Actually, sounds like the perfect situation for him would be to find a woman his age or younger who wants children but physically can’t have her own. Of course, the likelihood of finding that would be small. Also, if he really knows his own mind and is sure he doesn’t want anymore kids, he can get a vasectomy. That way, if he does date younger women, even casually to start, he takes the risk of more kids out entirely and sets a hard-line expectation upfront in case one of those relationships turns serious. My husband has two friends who have gone this route and so far it seems to have worked out for them. P.S. thank you for your written comment questioning the absolutism of your statement about women who don’t want kids. I’m a woman who truly never wanted children and certainly don’t think that makes me low quality. In fact, it made me a viable partner for my husband who also did not want children and we have a loving, healthy marriage.

High quality don't need children to be Happy. This does not mean that they may not wantbto have them.

oschicus

what many such girls need and want is a partner to help them share the burden of raising their kids. Why is that, in your opinion, a wrong question?

Marek Szumlas

As for the guy who asked you the question - just tell him to look for and date girls who don't want to have kids. I don´t see what the problem is except maybe that he won't find many. We can´t always get what we want.

Marek Szumlas

did you really say that "High Quality women by definition don't want children"? I admire your work and I only occasionally disagree with what you preach but this statement is utter rubbish - it makes me question your notion of High Quality.

Marek Szumlas

Very interesting video Alexander. Most of the women that are on this situation, should really listen to this video,as some/lots of them are extremely lost. At least from my experience, they ask always the wrog question, "would you mind dating someone with children?", instead of focusing on what they need in their lives.

oschicus