The Story Of Julia

I was expecting something more juicy, for example "we were about to have sex, started foreplays. After a while she said" doesn't it get bigger?" then took a picture and shared it with the whole school" 😂

Sounds NPD

Emiliana Tan

I would never dream of trying to analyze Alexander personally, but as a girl who's done mean things to boys, and watched another girl do something similar to what he described, I will give my opinion on the girl in the story.  It sounded to me like a control issue. She asks him out, then told everyone, without telling him that she was telling everyone.  She wanted to control the announcement.  She may also have wanted to date him just to prove to everyone that she could, and controlling the announcement was her checkered flag. Then before he could realize she was a flake, or maybe she was already bored, she broke up with him and again told everyone very quickly.  Not only does it get rid of him (because the conquest of getting him to say yes to the relationship was the point, not actually having the relationship), but now she could again control the narrative by saying SHE broke up with him. That was her victory lap. I'm sure none of those words or concepts were consciously formed in her mind, but I'm not surprised the other boy said this wasn't her first rodeo.  It must've felt good to her to have that kind of control in a relationship with a male, so she kept doing things like that.

Jennifer Coopman

She was "collecting souls" to overcome her own insecurities and to inflate and prop of her opinion of herself. You were attempting to do the same thing, but you were dealing with an apex predator, a master of soul collection. Yes, usually an unconscious behavior.People like that are both skilled and dangerous and also have a large hole in their own soul bucket. It can never fill up. Harsh lesson, a harsh look in the mirror, but a really valuable one to, once the lessons are learned. Clearly you learned the right lessons eventually.

Compassion, appreciation, sense of loyalty. These are terms completely foreign to women. It doesn't matter if you do everything for a girl take her out the ground, polish her into a diamond. She will never feel a sense of appreciation for everything you do for her. There is no investment in women. Only invest in yourself.

Wild_Card

For me the most relatable part of the Julia story is the regret felt for being nice to her. "A betrayal of reality". I think this kind of malicious behaviour from the hot, 'cheerleader' girls is a stereotype for a reason. It is difficult to overstate how much beauty and sex mean to an adolescent boy, nothing is more physically and mentally validating. This is so much unearned leverage for young girls. Natural or not, the way this dynamic plays out is absolutely brutal. I think a large percentage of guys will understand what it feels like to have your most natural drives painfully abused by the opposite sex when they have the upper hand. As the power dynamic is so one sided and self seeking these teenage 'relationships' don't usually last long, which is fine and to be expected but let's pay attention to what happens afterwards. The hot girl has the upper hand with a higher smv and so often will do whatever she wants while the guy is essentially taken advatage of. I think the betrayal of reality Alex is talking about is not holding her accountable for her actions. All of this solipsism, manipulation and cruelness yet guys tend to still want to be honest and (ugh) 'nice' towards them even after being used. It does feel like a betrayal to your core when that happens because it feels truly unjust.

Steven

I have come across love bombing a few times I think it has happened to me. You mentioned in the video that you prefer to pursue women instead of them pursuing you. But you didn’t state it as a red flag. Do you think women who aggressively pursue men is likely a red flag? I think a lot of the time it shows some type of unhealthy desperation or lack of femininity that will damage the relationship later? What does everyone think?

T

My assumption when listening was that he intentionally left out a lot of details. I imagine it’s tough to balance sharing lessons learned from personal experience while maintaining personal privacy.

Thank you for the help. Was not going to write. When thinking of women use my relationship with my deceased wife. This cold be a concern for me. Was thinking of the end after years adjustment and alignment between us. Not where it started with each of us. Insecurities in several forms with our histories before we wed. Need to look back in time with what I am now. With my looking know, I can only control myself and influence others. Thank you for your thought inducing words

Domald

That was it? You call a teenage girl in the USA 'crazy' because she 'went out' with you for five days when you were 17. Did you even 'go out' anywhere at all or just see each other briefly at lunchtime? What relationship experience do you have that makes you think you can give good relationship advice to single men for a fee? What qualifies a man to be an incel? Do you qualify yet?

Many thanks, Alex. My last was a crazy like this, love bombed the hell out of me, and she set me on a very dark path until I stumbled across your content on youtube.

so my brother, 15 years old on his first day of school had a girl already trying to be with him, few days later she was mentioning relationship/sex. I told him to be careful with that girl and try to figure out more, ask her question, find out more about her. a few days later, he said a random boy grabbed him and pulled him to the side. he told him to stay away from that girl because she will steal his soul. Im trying to teach my brother how to look out for read flags before he gets emotionally invested because once he does its when he will start to ignore red flags

Alexander this story didn't make you look bad at all.  I'm glad you were able to find lessons in it. Thank you for sharing your story!

Jennifer Coopman

Thank you for sharing. What an experience! You're fortunate to have had such a rich experience and yes, your reaction to the guy who warned you was understandable but unfortunate.

Excellent video! I guess the silver lining for you was just how much you learned from this experience. Lucky it happened early in life in school where stakes are low and you only know these people for a temporary amount of time

Wheat Waffles

Good story man. I had an experience like this way back at the end of middle school that really turned me off from dating in the first few years of high school. We were all stupid kids back then but learning the lesson about how crazy will often present as accommodating and kind is super important. Lots of times as people grow older these kind of girls become the expedient life of the party types who are equally as terrible to date for different reasons.

Yeah he did but it goes down at the start of the month xxx

Alisha

The reason she came back to you was not because she cares about you. It was for her own validation. She knew you might be still into her.

You said this would release at 2500 patrons

The thought that kept going through my head when listening to this was “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” It’s probably callous phrasing for the situation but it’s one of those common axioms I associate with life lessons I, and others, learn because we are too young, ignorant, or stubborn to make smarter choices. Lord knows I’ve played many a stupid game in my lifetime. 😔

Hi, thanks for video. Alexander what are the odds Julia actually had a strong closeness/intimacy fear?

Thank you, Alexander. Rearranged bits and pieces of this story are relatable to me. Moving from Western New York to a bible belt state, yeah, my being an atheist came up between me and my last girlfriend. I tried hard to re-attract her, but in the end she just used me for additional resources. My current girlfriend went from being a conservative Christian to being an agnostic and something of a hippie. She’s apparently much less interested in extracting resources from me. It’s also so refreshing to have someone whose outward expression of genuine desire comes out with not nearly as much effort on my part. I have taken special note about your mention of love bombing. I shall be careful about that.

Todd McDaniels

I had a crazy one as my first. Actually my buddy's sister. Lasted about 3 months. I'm still friends with my buddy some 35 years later and he tells me she is still crazy. Even though she completely wrecked me , danced on my insecurities like The Nutcracker Suite. It did cure me of the notion that I would never have a girlfriend. It was only a couple months before number 2 who was a MUCH nicer, and genuine person who liked me for me. Being kids though, she left me when I was in boot camp for the army. It never should have come to that though we should have broken up when I left.

Looking forward to checking this out after work. Thank you very much for sharing it.

Finally watched it! Wow that was a lot, thank you for your vulnerability Alexander! It takes a lot of strength to admit to these stories that bring us bad feelings! Also, I wonder how different it is for boys who go to all boys schools compared to mixed gendered schools. My bf has a friend from work who went to an all-boy school and he is terrified of women. I guess not having that socialisation could cause problems and anxieties.

Alisha

Thank youfor Sharing Alexander. I'm happy this happned in another country it probably made it easier to power through it .

Ali Nassar

YESSSSS JUST ABOUT TO WATCH IT

Alisha

Finally!!!

Ignas

Nice! I have been waiting this for long :)