PATREON EXCLUSIVE: 10 More Toxic Traits - Sequel Video

Yes, given that men wield most of the power in this world, and occupy positions of dominance (I come from that class of people), I had expected a longer, deeper list for Toxic Masculinity. I am almost disappointed to find only no.10 applicable to me (which, since I run a large company peopled mostly by women, couldn’t be such a crime). The Toxic Femininity list was useful, though. A big one I got from Jordan Peterson is that women tend to avoid Responsibility, offload it and are simultaneously attracted to those who take it over.

Ok, so in the interest of full disclosure, and to put my money where my mouth is and accept accountability, I thought I would see if I could recognize and admit which things in Alexander's list, and some of the others' lists, that I've perpetrated: -Perpetual victimhood, but I never thought it was because I was a woman.  I think maybe that's just the kind of person I was. I still get that way every once in a while even now. -Sexual shaming, I once shamed a man for not being good at a particular sex act. -Fluid feminism. Alexander was right about this point, but I don't think that it's because of inconsistency. It really IS the fact that just because we're doing it, that makes it feministic. So it CAN mean different things to different women.  Because whatever it is we are doing, it was our own choice.  Not because some man or group of men made it for us 'for our own good'.  THAT'S why everything we do is considered female empowerment.  We were empowered to make the choice ourselves.  Even if it's a bad choice. -Branch swinging -Shaming male emotion, see my comment on the orbiter video a while back. -Putting down men in front of young boys (from my list) -Emotional bullying (from Joseph's list)

Jennifer Coopman

About prostitution, all the drawbacks and dangers you mentioned are true, seen it first hand, just terrible what some people go through... But, wouldn't legalizing it make it safer? Legitimate businesses with controlled environments with support from law enforcement? Cracking down on human trafficking and forced labor instead of independent girls? Some girls in that line of work are actually really bright and intelligent doing what they have to do to keep their heads above the water. For many of them, having that stigma for a few years is a relatively small price to pay.

T13PR

Can you provide some examples of logic bullying done by men ?

I would caution that getting too emotionally attached to someone can cloud your logical judgement of your compatibility.

The subject of Prostitution can't be painted with one brush. There are highly differing sets of circumstances and factors both from the prostitutes themselves and their customers. I for one used it more for gaining sexual experience as i was not finding relationship an easy thing to go forward with, so found it to be the best way out for me temporarily.

I disagree with the idea that prostitution should be illegal across the board, but I also lean towards libertarian anarchism. That said I don't disagree that all the concerns Alex brings up should be ignored. They should be put at the forefront of anyone who's considering being a prostitute so they are fully informed of what they're getting into. There are many jobs people do that aren't enjoyable or that they do because they're mentally unwell. Some are dangerous, some are very difficult work that wears on the body, but most that take these jobs up are aware of the choices they're making. Not to mention regulation rarely correlates with safer working conditions, it would only encourage worse ones for those that end up in the profession through a black market which always pops up when a market is banned. To sum it up: It's far more ethical and moral to allow it but in a setting that informs those that take part in it of the drawbacks and protects them from customers who are dangerous.

I’m turning 70 this year, divorced for 6 years. I enjoy and learn from your videos. I want to comment on prostitution. I hire an escort thru a service twice a year. I like talking with women, but too often, women in the wild that decide to have a conversation with me are expecting something more than conversation. I hire these escorts, meet them in a restaurant, have a nice dinner and conversation. They are 100% of the time surprised and relieved that sex isn’t expected, nor wanted. They let down their guard and are more open with me. I never initiate any discussion about their profession, but it always comes up. None of them are happy with what they’re doing, it’s always about the money. I’m not trying to save them, I’m getting what I want, and they’re getting paid. I don’t look at it as prostitution, but they are. Most of them have a good bit of intelligence and can hold a stimulating conversation. Plus, I like the looks I get when I’m sitting with a beautiful woman. My thoughts.

William H Turner

Damn, that "Logic Bullying" hits somewhat close to home. I had an epiphany when I was listening to that section because I have been guilty of this several times over and have caused some women distress because of that. I have always been logical because...well that's the logical thing to do?! Also, it's been hard for me to relate to how women respond to things emotionally primarily becuase I am not one but maybe more so because I always thought getting emotional when dealing with somthing clouded logic and reality which hindered problem solving and hence developed a disdain for it. I think that section of the video breathes more life into a quote I came across: "When dealing with yourself, always use your head but when dealing with others, always use your heart".

Ashwin Srinivas

Not seeking help when needed is an interesting one because it's toxic to the man himself and by his own unaddressed detriment, he is toxic to the people around him. It's also very true! Nice point.

Ashwin Srinivas

There are more and more women taking accountability. It will take time for that message to spread. There are women in marriages that are working. We just don't get to see them in the media. They can take accountability, and they don't want their life on the web. "Wife is always Right" isn't every wife's theme. And truth be told, there are those men that want a wife to be in charge, so he doesn't mind being wrong all the time. I mean, there are a lot of Dominatrixs for a reason. No one is ever going to put a collar on me, but I don't mind picking up a leash. I guess that is one thing I am not balanced in. hmmm.

I think he covered most of these topics very well. I just have some added points below. I pretty much agree with quite a few of the scenarios that he pointed out, from those perspectives. Okay, so when AG puts out US statics of Law Enforcement, you have to also realize how their work affects the psychology of the individual. Same goes for other abusive career fields, that need to be done by somebody. We need to realize that their environment is going to contribute to violence in their lives outside of work. Not an excuse, just reality. For both genders, thanks for saying that in the beginning. Prostitution. There are a couple of factors I would like to point out. Legal environments and the continuation of illegal activity in Legalized areas. High use of malevolent manipulation is used in prostitution. Very high risk of abuse from many different avenues, and even legal brothels have this problem. Now if it was robotic, what disagreement do you have? Aren't people working on a solution. What can a person do to a robot, and how will that effect the individual that would continues in that behavior? Of course there are business opportunities. I am sure some people will use robots as an investment rather then a replacement. We have dishwashers, washing machines, floor robots, and pretty much everything else to completely replace what used to take so long. Why? To appease our women, to take work off of them, and it wasn't good enough. At some point, men are going to realize that they invented women right out of our lives, to help make womens lives better. A few years, maybe before we see things progressing. It is not about who is more educated, but what you are educated in that matters. Both genders, Should we stand in the way of legalizing the worlds oldest profession? Because hunting and gathering have become hobbies of the wise. I really need to listen to my mother more. As for the age thing, I agree. However, there is a way to manipulate that also has it's drawback, and problems associated with it. In the long run, it just doesn't work, unless it is political, financial, arranged, etc. This is something I have to remind myself of quite often. I have had quite a few young 20's women flirt with me. That is really difficult to turn down. I don't want another 'kid', but friends that are going to help. You only feel young for a while, then you and her get reminded of your age. So yeah people are going to be hurtful to whomever. "Truth hurts then heals. Lies sooth then kill." He missed Cultural abuse. Kind of touched on Identity abuse. But he's talking to a world, and your really asking to get it with that one. So better not include it. I just think that, yeah be prepared. I would be nervous, too.

I would not call Logic bullying as toxic if it happens after all the emotions were adressed. You can ignore reality, but you cannot ignore consequences ignoring reality. It is not "meet halfway" it is more "meet halfway, find solution and take consequences". And very likely it will not be the lady who will take responsibility.

Ignas

Brilliant video Alex, This was probably one of the most important videos you have ever made, and its videos like this I have been waiting for for a long time. Its very important to know all about how a woman can mistreat you in a relationship but its just as important that we as men also learn about how we might be doing the same. PLEASE make more videos like this where you show men their weak points so we can become better partners and overall higher quality people. :)

Conor

Good stuff Alex. There will always be unreasonable people who disagree and I know it sucks. I’m glad to see it hasn’t stopped you from saying what you think :)

Joachim Arting

so true!

Alexander Grace

Domald, I'm not surprised at what you said about the women who couldn't stand it long enough for their men to even say anything.  My step-mom is like that. Won't even let Dad and her kids do anything but the dishes because she doesn't trust them to get anything clean enough. I'm not that picky.  I only had so much time in the day because I've always had a full time job and a part time job, and still cooking dinner each night.  So I really had to prioritize what housework was going to get done and what wasn't. And my man WOULD say stuff about it, then we'd argue.  You'd think a guy who was getting away with not making any effort in the home wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Then he started getting his shit together, so the delegation of duties is way better now. I still do the majority, but the percentages are much closer. And I can totally live with that! Just seeing him make the effort took away all my resentment, and relieved enough stress that it doesn't bother me now to do more. But it's more of all chores instead of all of not enough. I hope that makes sense. Besides, he stepped up in other areas too, so I don't complain about household chores anymore.

Jennifer Coopman

The financial abuse thing made me think of another toxic femininity one: when the woman has to control the design/aesthetics of the home to such an extent that she has to “let” a man have one (or a part of one) room/garage/shed, etc. for stuff that interests him. And this often occurs even if the man is the primary breadwinner.

I just asked my husband what his examples of toxic femininity would be and he slowly and silently raised his arm and pointed to me, like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers! LOL! Seriously though, I had a hard time comparing the female and male lists because it seems like they are structured differently.  The male list seems to have specific examples, whereas the female one seems to list categories that encompass multiple related behaviors. So when trying to add to his lists, I kept thinking of stuff for the female list, then saying 'oh but that's included under number ...'. Many got under 'child ownership', for example. But for the male list, the things I thought of, I couldn't fit as easily into another number.  So I hope it doesn't look like I'm picking on the guys! Female additions: -Destroying property as revenge -Complaining about how much money he spends on that unrestored vintage motorcycle in the garage, but then criticizing that he never finishes it. -Thinking Tiktok boyfriend pranks are funny -Putting down men in front of young boys Male additions: -Not doing their share of household duties. -Minimizing her accomplishments/goals -Assuming she's incompetent just because she's female (includes mansplaining) -Dread game -Promoting the repeal of women's voting rights -Denigrating/dismissing her education or her wish to be educated

Jennifer Coopman

When I first went to watch the 2 videos I would have argued that making gendered traits toxic is stupid but after watching these it is pretty accurate. For toxic femininity, I would add demanding vulnerability from men when they aren't comfortable to be vulnerable. Using sex to control men. Resource envy. For toxic masculinity, I would add not seeking help when needed...

Alisha