PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Which gender handles social disapproval better, men or women?

I haven't watched the video 'til the end, so I don't know how deeply it's explored later on, but Matt's comment on people who say "I don't care what people think about me" got me thinking. While, people who feel the need to advertise that are, absolutely, overcompensating, as the idea of the situation is paradoxical, I, in a way, feel like it's actually a good sign, assuming the person is young enough. That mindset is often the result of a childhood where one was neglected and bullied a lot, which is why they initially chased others' approval to survive. When someone like that reaches the "Fuck everyone" phase, usually in early adulthood or during teenage years, it's a sign that they're becoming more confident. They're getting out of their people pleasing ways, opening the door to healthy relationships, albeit, there's still long ways to go. Of course the risk is, that they don't receive emotional support and validation of their emotions early enough, which is just the final ingredient needed to get on the narcissistic personality disorder spectrum. (Worse the trauma, the further one ends up) But I genuinely feel like, even if you were to take a child out of that situation in their people-pleasing era and placing them in a loving foster home, you couldn't heal them without sparking the rage first.

I was desperate for peer social approval from age 5-15, as I was ostracised for my missing finger (lost in an accident at age 2) & almost definitely my Aspergers/poor theory of mind, which made it difficult for me to relate to my peers, especially being so different from them in so many ways. It’s quite embarrassing to me how pathetic & simpish I acted. When I was 16, I had an epiphany; I acknowledged that most people were stupid, foolish & simply not worthy of my time, & that I didn’t care what the masses thought. I have, of course, always cared greatly about the opinions of those I respect, especially my father & some of my adult friends & mentors, & then later my husband. I’ve become much more agreeable with age, partly due to humbling circumstances beyond my control, partly due to extensive self-work to become more patient & tolerant. But it was recently pointed out to me that I’d over-corrected - again! I suppose I will constantly need to pay attention & check in with others I trust to give me honest criticism. Regarding self-sufficiency & independence, which I have always sought, these are no doubt linked to my childhood. My mother was very hands off once I was in school, so I needed to become competent, but I also wanted to, even before I lost my finger. My ideal self-sufficient life is very much about family & community, & wanting to have many likeminded people & loved ones to nurture, heal & guide. It’s never something I’ve wanted to do alone.

RhodiumMaiden