Editing Marathon: Chapter Seventy Eight.
Added 2024-10-01 14:53:15 +0000 UTCHi guys.
Here is Chapter Seventy-Eight.
Thanks for all the help. It means a lot to me.
Regards,
BlaQQuill.
Comments
You might want to try one of the more recent ChatGPT models as a final pass after the community is done, I notice there’s one tuned to actually be a creative writing coach. I fed it a section of this chapter as a test to see if it could actually be useful for you and not a waste of time and it had some useful feedback: “I didn’t notice any glaring spelling or grammatical mistakes in your passage. The writing is generally clean and well-structured. However, here are a few minor points you could address for clarity or flow: 1. Dialogue Punctuation: • In the line, “H… he’s gone,” She declared even as she rose to her feet, “She” should be lowercase: “she”. This happens a few times throughout the text. In dialogue tags, the pronoun after the dialogue should be lowercase (unless it’s a proper noun). • Example: “I… I need some time,” She spoke, her voice coming out in a hoarse whisper should be: “I… I need some time,” she spoke…. 2. Ellipses Use: • You use ellipses (”…”) multiple times. It’s fine for indicating a pause in speech or trailing off, but try to be sparing with them, especially in narrative writing, to avoid them becoming distracting. In the line “H… he’s gone”, it could be revised to “He… he’s gone,” or simply “He’s gone.”, unless the hesitance is essential. 3. Pronoun Consistency: • There are a few instances where it’s worth considering if pronouns are clear. For example, in “Shalia knew that it was coming from the black gunk left on the wound by the monster that had caused the injury”, you might clarify that “it” refers to the stench: “Shalia knew that the stench was coming from the black gunk…” for easier understanding. 4. Comma Usage: • In the sentence, “She had been back home hiding when suddenly, a messenger came to the house shouting for a healer,” the comma after “when” isn’t necessary. It would read better as “She had been back home hiding when suddenly a messenger…”. 5. Tense Shifts: • Be careful with tense shifts, though your passage is largely consistent. Occasionally, narrative descriptions border between present and past. For example: “The only problem is the man was fast bleeding out”. It would be better as: “The only problem was that the man was bleeding out” for consistent past tense. These are minor corrections and do not detract significantly from the overall quality. Addressing these points will make the writing even more polished.”
Dev
2024-10-03 02:46:51 +0000 UTC“valiance”
Anodes
2024-10-01 18:38:13 +0000 UTC
