RJ Ramblings

Hey everybody! 

Back at home now and trying to get back to a normal routine. We're still definitely in mourning and there's random moments of spontaneous crying that happens throughout the days, but trying to move on. 

For those that don't know, I lost my dad when I was in my 20s and it had a huge impact on my life. Honestly, I think a lot of Come Home is me still working through my issues with losing my father. I know what the death of a close family member feels like. This isn't my first rodeo.

It is the first for my partner though and the hardest part has been seeing her go through the things that I went through. I'm happy that I can be here for her though, as I had to go through my father's death basically alone. 

I definitely think that any time there is a traumatic death close to you, it changes who you are a little bit. For me, when my dad died, I became much more self-focused. Before that, I was kinda just doing what everybody else wanted and expected me to do. After that, I realized truly how short life is and I focused myself on doing what I wanted to do. That's when I quit my job, became a writer and did everything I could to make that work, eventually ending up here making this game. I also made a lot of bad decisions too, but we can just skip over those. I changed and I like the person that I eventually became a lot more than the person I used to be. 

With the death of Tia, I think we are going to change a bit too. I'm not sure how my partner is going to change yet, but I feel like for me, it's this renewed urge to get out and see things, to take care of my body, and to make new friends. Seeing all the people at Tia's party was inspiring. I think if I died and had a party like that, there would only be a dozen or so people who would show up. I want more friends. I want better friends. It's hard to make those friends when I'm sitting at a computer all day, using a name that isn't really mine. 

So mentally, that's what's been going through my head lately. I'm doing okay, but working through a lot of things. Physically, I'm sick once again. I've had bad allergies for the last few days and I think it's turned into a sinus infection or something with my throat. I was coughing pretty bad on Saturday, then on Sunday I had D&D and was talking a lot and completely lost my voice. Can't talk above a whisper today. Been taking medicine and hope it'll go away fast. 

Other than that, I've been playing Tears of the Kingdom in my spare time and loving it. Probably about halfway through the game right now and have started just doing all the little sidequests and things before continuing with the main story. I've still been catching up on Critical Role as well, along with watching Dimension 20, which I've come to truly love. I finished the Crown of Candy season and have been watching along with The Ravening War. And my partner and I have started watching through Fantasy High together. Lots of fun so far. Also still painting miniatures, though I haven't shared much of that, because I feel like I've been painting sloppy and quickly and not necessarily anything worthy of sharing. I've also been cleaning a lot. While my partner was gone, I deep cleaned the living room and some of the bedroom. Trying to keep that up, going through and getting rid of things, dusting, vacuuming, all that stuff. We've gotten back into hiking as well and have been going out every day since we got back from her family's. Gonna have to take a little break from that though, until my cough goes away I think. 

And that's about it. Lots of things to ramble about today. Gonna get to work now. Love you all and thanks for all the support you've given <3