RJ Rambles About Running Away

Hey everybody! 

First of all, I am very happy. I am married. I have a nice house. I have a nice car, and I love making the game. Compared to where I was last year, everything is so much better, so when I talk about running away, I'm not talking about escaping from my life or running away from my wife or running away from the game. 

BUT! I have been thinking a lot about the housing situation, about the things I love the most, and about the things I NEED the most. So, since it's on my mind, that's what I'm going to ramble about today. 

When I moved to the new house, I was pretty frustrated with how much stuff I had. Stuff I did not need. Stuff I did not care about really. Just stuff that I bought for one reason or another and now sits around on shelves or in boxes, existing for no reason other than for me to have it. This idea really annoyed me. I got rid of a lot of things. I'm working on getting rid of a lot more. 

Over the last few months, I've thought a lot about minimalism and about focus. My focus right now is on three things - my wife, myself, and the game - in that order. I want to make sure my wife is happy. I want to make myself a better person. And I want to finish the game and make more games. I used to care about more things than this, but right now I really don't. I have all these video games that I've collected that I used to care so much about, but I really don't any more. I have so much Lego that still bring me some joy, but most of them I don't care about anymore. All the D&D minis, all the little collectables, all the stuff... I just don't care about them anymore. 

So I'm working on getting rid of a lot of things. Trimming down. Keeping only the things I really care about or need. 

I've discovered that I really don't need much to be happy. I've gone on these camping trips and they've been some of the happiest moments that I've experienced in the last few months. And I didn't have much more than a place to sleep, some food, and my wife. I want more of that. I want to go on longer trips. I want to see more of the world and have more experiences.

To that end, I've been thinking a lot about the whole vanlife concept. To preface, I'm not talking about doing this any time soon. I have responsibilities that keep me where I am right now - my mom and the dogs, namely. But in the future, the idea of reducing all my possessions to almost nothing and living out of my car, traveling around from campground to campground. This really appeals to me. 

Maybe I'm romanticizing it too much. I know it's not easy. I know it's not always comfortable. But right now, I'm okay with that. 

The whole housing situation may force something like that in the future as well. I'm paying SO much for rent and utilities. Living in my car and staying at a campgrounds would be ridiculously cheap in comparison. 

This job, making video games, doesn't require too much either. I just need a computer and an internet connection. The renders mean that I need a GOOD computer, but there are laptops that you can do renders on. They might not be as fast as what I currently have, but there are render farms that I could send the files off to after I posed them to be rendered elsewhere. Or, if I found an artist and could just focus on the writing and the coding, that would be even better. 

Anyways, these are just thoughts right now. I'm not sure that I will ever do it, even if it greatly appeals to me at the moment. I definitely can't do it right now. Who knows if I will be able to do it in the future. 

There is a sort of comfort that it is there as a backup plan though. If for some reason, I can't pay rent any more, I have my car. I'd be okay, wherever I wanted to go. 

And I might be more happy that way too. Waking up and seeing the sunrise in a new place. Having all the things I love right with me all the time. None of the clutter. None of the junk. 

I'm definitely romanticizing it. But it sounds fun to me. 

This Saturday, I'll be leaving on our honeymoon. We'll basically be living out of the car for a week, so at least I'll get a little taste of it. Maybe that will satiate this desire I have right now. 

Either way, please don't worry that I'm going to run away or abandon the game or anything like that. I'm doing fine. That's not going to happen. Love you all and hope you have an amazing week!