Quirky Row Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Interlude 2

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♦Topic: Saints Take Sommerset!
In: Boards ► Villain News ► Stilwater News ► Latest Updates 

► Stilwater Daily Times (Verified Media Site)

Posted September 20th, 2123:

In a shocking turn of events, what was supposed to be a peaceful Sunday morning was turned on its head when the infamous gang known as the Third Street Saints attacked an apartment complex in Sommerset Hills around 9 am.

To the shock of the entire neighborhood, it turned out that Sommerset Apartments, the largest apartment complex in the district, was the base of Brotherhood operations throughout the area. The Saints engaged the Brotherhood in a siege battle, with the former led by a brand-new villainess, currently going by the name Rafflesia.

Matters became even more chaotic when the police and heroes arrived on the scene. The heroes included the Number 7, Amber, and Number 10, Stampede, both of whom had previously encountered the Saints. However, it appeared that this was all part of Skunk’s plan, as the Saints pincered the cops and heroes with more of their own members, resulting in a total loss for both Stilwater’s brave law enforcement, but also the Brotherhood, who were all arrested following the confrontation. The Saints then proceeded to take over Sommerset Hills, declaring it to be their territory.

While some applaud the Saints for removing a dangerous group of criminals from the streets, others decry it as merely trading one group of thugs for another. Not to mention that crime rates have skyrocketed ever since the Third Street Saints was reformed under its former leader, Playa Philips, aka the supervillain Skunk. Yet people still seem to be excited about the changes being brought about in the wake of the Saints.

To see the full article, click HERE [LINK]

(Showing page 2 of 31)

► MatterMind (Mind over Matter)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

Ugh, can you believe this media sensationalism? ‘Crime has skyrocketed?’ It’s ridiculous!

► ShrimpGrits109 (College Student)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@MatterMind are you dumn?! It’s not sensationalism! It’s the goddamn truth! Ever since the Saints came back crime has been through the roof all over Stilwater!

► MatterMind (Mind over Matter)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@ShrimpGrits109 It may seem that way at first glance, because of all the gang activity in the streets, but if you really look at the numbers, crime has only seen a four percent increase since Skunk gave his speech to the world. And if you look even closer, certain types of criminal activity have actually gone down. Prostitution? Petty theft? Assault? Breaking and entering? Car related incidents? Hell, even jay walking is the lowest its been in years! Non-gang related crimes have plummeted since the beginning of the inter-gang conflicts.
Ironically, the gang violence has actually done more for keeping the streets safe than the police themselves. It just looks so much worse than it is because the crimes are being done out in the open with the public caught in the crossfire.

► Spudnik (Quirk Groupie) (Unverified Space Potato)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@MatterMind Holy crap, you’re right! I didn’t believe you at all so I actually looked up the numbers myself, and by All Might’s tight ass you understated things if nothing else.

► MatterMind (Mind over Matter)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@Spudnik Thank you for verifying the data yourself. So many people don’t do that often enough and just take things for granted.

► ShrimpGrits109 (College Student)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@Spudnik the only reason that’s the case is because people are too afraid to go outside anymore!

► Spudnik (Quirk Groupie) (Unverified Space Potato)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@ShrimpGrits109 Yeah, that sucks, but you have to admit that MatterMind was right about the media misrepresenting the facts.

► ShrimpGrits109 (College Student)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

[ACCOUNT HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY BANNED DUE TO VIOLATING SITE RULES. REASON: EXCESSIVE PROFANITY.]

► Borkabork (Unverified Bjork Enthusiastic)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

Wow, what an asshole.

► Trelly (Hero Fan)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@Spudnik Could you send me the statistics you found for the crime stuff? I’m doing a school project and that data could be the cherry on top for my criminal studies thesis.

End of Page 2

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♦Topic: Saints’ got a new Villainess
In: Boards ► Villain Info ► Stilwater ► Third Street Saints

► FlavorRaven (Surprisingly Tasty) (Original Poster)
Posted on September 20th, 2123:

So, everyone has heard about the Sommerset Apartment Siege by now, right? Blah, blah, blah, Brotherhood gets raided by the Saints, heroes show up and get curb stomped in a totally planned ambush by the Saints, and everyone starts wearing purple to celebrate their new overlords.

BUT! What I really want to talk about is the hot new villain the Saints have on their side! Meet Rafflesia, everyone! The next big hitter on the Saints team!

Even though she was dressed in red, it was clear that she was fighting for the Saints when she rolled up leading an army of purple gangsters.

So far, her Quirk isn’t known, but since she was flinging around all kinds of smoke and gas and she’s named after the infamously smelly Stinking Corpse Lily, could it be something similar to what Skunk has?

Pics HERE and HERE.

(Showing Page 5 of 89)

►Flathead Screwdriver (Quirk Groupie) (Know-it-all)
Posted on September 20th, 2123:

Woo! Go Saints! Kick those Brotherhood right in the nugs!

Also, I like the costume. Really leaning heavily on the flower theme, so I think her Quirk has something to do with plants.

►PickAStick (Unverified Comedian)
Posted on September 20th, 2123:

I was there, watching the whole thing from the safety of my own apartment across the street. Rafflesia was throwing around grenades to spread the smoke and gas, but I don’t think Flathead Screwdriver is right. Her Quirk must have something to do with how she was able to not need a gasmask in the middle of all that tear gas. Even Skunk needs to wear protection when he summons certain gases.

►Flathead Screwdriver (Quirk Groupie) (Know-it-all)
Posted on September 20th, 2123:

@PickAStick Hmm, you might be right, I just watched some footage of the siege and Rafflesia was definitely not wearing protection of any kind from the smoke and gases. Interesting.

► Banana Loco (Quirk Banana) (Verified Hero)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

I for one welcome the addition of a new plant-themed person to the stage that is hero and villain interactions. Rafflesia may be a villainess, but there just aren’t that many of us out here with plant-based Quirks. My dear friend Kamui Woods over in Japan or Tumbleweed in New Mexico would agree with that.

► Bottled Water (Quirk Groupie) (Unverified water bottle)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@Banana Loco, you’re so crazy! You’re not a plant-themed hero! Fruits aren’t plants!

► Nosejob (Quirk Groupie) (Verified Plastic Surgeon)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@Bottled Water Um, what?

► Ravioli-Molly (Quirk Groupie) (Weed Enthusiast)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@Bottled Water Dude are you high?

► Bottled Water (Quirk Groupie) (Unverified water bottle)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@Ravioli-Molly That’s rude! Just because you’re not smart enough to know that fruits are not plants doesn’t mean you can go around claiming that I’m a filthy druggie like yourself!

► Ravioli-Molly (Quirk Groupie) (Weed Enthusiast)

Replied on September 20th, 2123:

I-I just… no, I’m just gonna ignore that. Do not engage the idiots…

► Ravioli-Molly (Quirk Groupie) (Weed Enthusiast)

Replied on September 20th, 2123:

So! Anyways, back to this new villain the Saints have. I still think her hair looks nice. Costume though is really meh. I mean, who uses a mask shaped like a flower? And there’s too much red, she could be mistaken for a Brotherhood simp!

End of Page 5.

(Showing Page 7 of 89)

► Amber (Verified Heroine)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

Damn it, @Banana Loco! Stop praising villains! And stop trying to recruit her into your weird little Plant Quirk Club!

► Banana Loco (Quirk Banana) (Verified Hero)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@Amber, you’re just jealous that I won’t invite you to the club!

► Amber (Verified Heroine)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

@Banana Loco No I’m not! My powers aren’t even plant based! My barriers just look they’re made of amber, they aren’t really fossilized tree sap!

► TopicalSmoothie (Smoothie Enthusiast)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

Hey, don’t worry Banana Loco, I bet Amber is just pissed that Johnny Gat nailed her in the face with a beanbag round during the fight. Did anyone else see it? I’ll bet she’s sporting a wicked black eye from that!

►Flathead Screwdriver (Quirk Groupie) (Know-it-all)
Posted on September 20th, 2123:

@TopicalSmoothie I saw that too! Someone took a great vid of it and made it into a GIF. It’s already a meme on other forums and sites! Here, take a link.

► CheeseMePleaseMe (Unverified Mouse) (Verified Cheese Lover)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

I like the cut of this Rafflesia’s gib. Not enough villainesses out there with a swagger like hers. Did you see how confident she was when taking on that Brotherhood lieutenant with the ability to grow bone spikes? Like, not even a flinch! She just danced around his attacks and then gassed him!

► TopicalSmoothie (Smoothie Enthusiast)
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

I know, right? She’s totally hot. I’d pollinate her, if you know what I mean.

► Submissive Dolphin
Replied on September 20th, 2123:

Step on me, Flower Mommy!

► Ravioli-Molly (Quirk Groupie) (Weed Enthusiast)

Replied on September 20th, 2123:

Eww, gross you guys! I’m sure she doesn’t want to be lewded like that!

►Flathead Screwdriver (Quirk Groupie) (Know-it-all)
Posted on September 20th, 2123:

@Ravioli-Molly, Too late, there’s already a new Revvit Subthread dedicated to Rafflesia NSFW artwork. It has over a hundred entries already.

(End of Page 7.)

&&&&&

“Eeew! Eeew!” Shaundi exclaimed in disgust, throwing her phone down and staring at it as if it’d bitten her.

“What’s up? Did another spider crawl on you?” Playa asked as he relaxed on a couch in Aisha’s house. He wasn’t the only one. Carlos was chatting with Pierce over by a pool table, while Johnny was resting his head in Aisha lap on another couch. That left Shaundi sitting in a comfy armchair.

The Saint’s Inner Circle had decided to celebrate their good luck with yesterday’s raid on and acquisition of Sommerset Hills with a nice evening at Aisha’s house. Food, fun, and plenty of booze! Right now, they were busy digesting the amazing pot roast Aisha had cooked. A surprisingly funny B-movie was playing on the screen mounted over the fireplace and Playa was enjoying it, having missed it when it came out during his coma.

Shaundi however had been checking her phone after the heavy and hearty dinner the former singer had prepared.

“I recognize that face,” Aisha said with a teasing grin as she leaned over to the only female member of the Inner Circle. “You just discovered all the porn they’ve made of you.”

“Ah, so you finally found out about the truly depraved depths of the internet,” Playa chuckled as he rolled over on the couch and picked up Shaundi’s phone. “Forget the Darknet, the really evil stuff is on 42Chan and Flipper.”

His eyes then widened as he saw the images Shaundi had been looking at before she tossed it away. “Whoa. That is… yikes.”

“Why are there so many perverts?!” Shaundi wept.

“Don’t worry honey, that’s just part of the whole fame and fortune bit,” Aisha reassured Shaundi. “I mean, even I have nude pics circulating on the internet. Plus, nine porno parodies.”

“I made five of them myself with Aisha baby here,” Johnny said with a lascivious grin. “Best part of being married to a ‘dead’ woman? Everyone assumes that when I upload a new vid of me and my girl doing the horizontal monster smash, they think it’s just a very good look-alike actress.”

“And be glad that you don’t have my problem,” Playa said. “Because of my villain name, I got ‘adopted’ by the furry community.”

“Bwuh?” Shaundi uttered, staring at her boss in disbelief.

Johnny burst into a fit of snickering. “Oh, yeah, that was hilarious! People started drawing Playa as a humanoid skunk-thing. Someone even dressed up as him at a Furry Convention during his coma.”

“If I recall, you also paid like a dozen different artists to draw my ‘fursona’ and then printed them out and plastered them all over the base that one time,” Playa said, narrowing his eyes at his Right Hand Man.

“I paid ‘em well for that prank. The artists each made ten grand for their hard work. Besides, it wasn’t my money. I took the cash from the Vice Kings,” Johnny shot back. “Anyways, Shaundi, you just got to learn to deal with it. It’s a part of hero – and villain – life.”

“Fine. Doesn’t mean I have to like it, though,” Shaundi grunted. “Pass me my phone back, boss-man.”

Playa nodded and tossed it back to her.

“By the way. What’s the plan for our next move?” Shaundi inquired as she caught it. “We shouldn’t rest on our laurels.”

“She’s right, boss,” Pierce said. “Maero won’t stay down for long, and his lieutenants are still capable of operating.”

“Any suggestions, then?” Playa asked.

“We go after one of Maero’s Inner Circle. Cut down his PR bitch, and they’ll be unable to hide their bigotry,” Carlos offered.

“I like it. Get on it,” Playa ordered. “Now, if I’m not mistaken, Aisha made some dessert.”

“Shoofly pie with vanilla ice cream,” Aisha said with a grin. “Granny Brown’s prize-winning recipe.”

“Oh, damn, it’s been five years since I’ve had a slice of that goodness,” Playa groaned happily.

It was a great time for the Saints. If only they’d had an idea of what was coming next.