Apology. What happed, and plan for the future... 

Last 2~3 months I failed to defeat my inner demon. Failed to be productive about my art.

I feel lost and stuck about my path, because of AI. 

The fact that the age of AI generating is coming has severely damaged (& almost killed) my will, faith and motivation as a digital artist. I can't help but feel silly spending hours or even days improving/fixing my works on hand, while knowing people can just “generate” things in 30 seconds, with better and more polished outcomes.

Another thing about AI that is too bizarre to me, is that in a way, the AI users don't need to take the responsibility of the quality of their product. If the “art” comes out bad, they can blame the prompt, blame the models, blame the generator, but never themselves. They are free from the need to improve themselves as an “artist”. They just need to copy better promt or download a better updated models, or generally better tools, and then simply rerolled the dice until it works.

I always beileve that improving myself is the key to be an artist/illustrator, in order to give my art better quality. That's why I enjoy spend time in my work process. The more time I spent the more I'd learn. I'm growing while doing something I love and that's a bless. Now with AI generation, it's not necessary anymore if the whole point is only about producting digital product (Not only illustration, but also animation, even music and novels.)

I asked myself. As an illustrator, should I choose the fast way(AI) and give up on the part that I enjoy? Or should I keep the old way yet knowing less people will be interested because my stuffs is slower and less polished than AI's product?

That brings me to another question. What am I? Am I an artist? An entertainer? A content creator? If I'm an artist, then I should not surrender to AI. However as an content creator, I should shift to AI right away, in order to make more content faster and better to my audience.

If I switch to AI, (or just parcially using AI as a supportive tool), I feel like I betray myself and my faith I always had. Yet if I don't use AI at all, I'm stuck in a state with low speed, low motivation, and low quality outcome.

For the last few months, I can't make up my mind, feeling stuck. I want to find a thing. Anything. A reason. An excuse. A solution. A balance. Anything, to bring me out of this paralyzed state of mind.

Should I continue to draw things in the old way? Should I start using AI (especially when making animation) if that means I can give you more content faster and better in the future? 

Or should I just change my way to draw. Speed up and give up on the details, focusing on being creative and interesting? Even though that means the quality will drop?

I wanna know what you guys think. 

Anyways that's probably all. I appolgize for failing to give updates for the last few months. No matter what happed in the future, I appreciate you with all my heart, for the support and pacience you have always been giving to me. The only reason I'm still fighting is because I don't wanna let you guys down. I really really want to figure this out, be confident again and walk on a right path for both myself and the ones who likes my art/content.

Thank you all. Sincerely.