Endertale page 33-34 WIP
Added 2018-11-02 19:02:54 +0000 UTCI'll be splitting this page in two, but you guys get to see the rough of the whole thing
Comments
I knew it was going to be clunky but it’s as good as it was going to get, it’s also sort of a way to get Sans to start realizing that Frisk might not be the “monster” he sees them as the more the info is laid out in front of him
xXTC-96Xx
2018-11-02 23:05:22 +0000 UTCThe audience knows, but they don’t know, so they do need to discuss it, I knew I had to get all this exposition out sooner or later and unfortunately it was the only way I could get it across
xXTC-96Xx
2018-11-02 22:47:12 +0000 UTCErr... TC, I don't want to be a pain in the ass, but don't you think this is a little too much of repeated exposition? It's 2 full pages of info we already know because of the previous pages. It doesn't need to be all too explicit. One of them could be looking attentively to those words and then being like "I've got a theory!", then they get the phone call and then go out of the house saying "I'll talk about it in the way" Also, having them wild guessing every detail right and not getting anything wrong is too odd and improbable. They could get a detail wrong and that would make the narrative richer. I love your work and I'm saying all this in the best of intentions.
F.M.A.
2018-11-02 22:34:57 +0000 UTC
