Youkai's Blessing in this Dangerous World (Konosuba/Touhou)

Let it never go unsaid that Satou Kazuma did not die doing what was right!..

In his mind, anyway.

The less said about the actual circumstances of his death, the better, especially since the bitch of a goddess assigned to handle his reincarnation spent a good twenty minutes just making fun of him for it. Humiliating though it might be, he had died, and he had to treat his reincarnation with some seriousness.

About three hours of seriousness, as he perused dozens upon dozens of options, and even demanded more, each time he did, the goddess became more and more irritable, until eventually, it came down to a fight. Insults flew, magic was thrown about, and ultimately, the decision was made for Kazuma.

Somehow, instead of the world he was supposed to be sent to, during the scuffle, he wound up being sent to a wholly different one, a world far less stable, far more mystical, a world in which humanity was not just a weak race, but a painful minority, a world self contained behind a barrier.

A world that he was more familiar with, but that was only a bad thing, because he was sent to a world inhabited by the youkai of the mythologies he was aware of.

"And if that was all of it," he protested, "then that would be something, but no, of course that cunty goddess had to have the last laugh, and she saddled me with one of the worst abilities possible, it was one of the first that I rejected even!"

"Really?" the woman behind the desk, a remarkably pretty, if girlish and almost childish, looking person, in a fancy, high-quality kimono, asked. "What kind of ability is it? Some don't like to share, so you don't have to, but if possible I'd like to leave it on record."

"Yeah sure," Kazuma replied, raising his hand. "She saddled me with special pheromones," he explained, pointing at his armpit. "If I start sweating, I produce a scent that attracts supernatural creatures and makes them want to have sex with me."

"Oh. That doesn't seem so bad," the woman said, writing something down on a scroll with a few swift flicks of her wrist, the brush strokes using up all the ink and forcing her to dip it again. "I suppose the issue of consent is... murky and dubious at best," she said, tilting her head slightly to the side.

"It's worse than that, because I can't control it and neither can they... and everything in this place is both way stronger than I am, and a lot more unscrupulous than I am!"

And that was saying something, considering the kind of person he was, even he wasn't so delusional he thought himself a saint.

"Well, luckily, this village is well protected, and the Youkai and Fairies are... sometimes not a problem. It's a good thing you made it here."

"Yeah, for sure," Kazuma said. "Especially since I had to run away from some frisky fairies," he said, "one of them wanted to crawl up my butt, and I don't even want to know if it's possible."

"That must've been terrifying... I'm kind of curious-"

"Please no, I really need to borrow a shower and wash up, at least since everyone here is human I don't need to worry," Kazuma said, "finally safe, there's no way I'm going to be attacked here, now that I relax I can feel that I'm just covered in sweat."

"Everyone's- Wait- Are you-" the purple haired woman's eyes became as wide as saucers. "WAIT-"

And then suddenly the rice paper screen was cut in half and then obliterated, and suddenly, there was someone there.

Long silver hair with green highlights glinted ominously. Red eyes reflected the light of the paper lamp on the desk. Steam came out of a pair of flared nostrils. A horned and horny woman stood there, a visibly non-human person, a youkai... a supernatural woman.

And Kazuma, well, he positively reeked even. Why, if you looked close enough, you could almost see the pinkish haze of his pheromones wafting off his body, and more importantly, you could see them being snorted almost like a drug into the nostrils of the woman standing menacingly behind the screen she had just cut to pieces.

Kazuma thought for a moment. He really did not want to be there any longer than he had to be. In the brief instant he had to think, he spotted a small window, high up, behind the desk. With all of his strength, agility and abusing the secondary powers attached to his, he leaped up onto the desk, and then jumped up to the window, twisting and contorting himself to squeeze through the small opening, using the flexibility, agility and dexterity granted to him by his power.

Another of the abilities he had been granted was to be able to undress quickly, which was necessary because his bulky tracksuit was too thick to get through the window.

Unfortunately, that left him in just his briefs. Luckily at least he was wearing a clean pair, courtesy of the reincarnation, and as he hit the hard packed dirt of the road behind the mansion that he'd just escaped from, he rolled and jumped back on his feet, taking off in a sprint.

Not moments later the wall behind him burst into rocky and wooden debris. "Run if you want to live," the purple haired woman shouted.

"Hold still..!" growled the horned woman, as she took off after Kazuma.

There was no competition to be had, she wasn't just faster than him, he might as well be standing still compared to how fast she could run. But her senses were dulled by her rising lust, her face was red, her eyes were half lidded, and she was panting, unable to breathe properly.

That gave him an advantage as he could throw himself to the ground and roll as she launched into a dive that sailed right past him, while he turned around and dove behind an old style wooden house to try to break line of sight.

Not that it helped, of course she was tracking him by scent, his stupid power meant that she couldn't help but be attracted to it.

"I thought this village only had humans in it!" he protested as he ducked behind another building and tried to catch his breath. The problem was that the more agitated he got, and the more he ran, the more he would loose his special pheromones. And the more that happened, the worse his situation would become.

So he tried to calm himself.

"Dammit, it's all because of that shitty, useless goddess..." he muttered as he tried to slow down his breathing. Being a non-athletic otaku most of his life, he hardly had the athletic ability to run as he did.

It was only the fact that his power came alongside a boost to his physical abilities that he was doing as well as he was.

"What the hell do I do," he muttered, "there's nowhere I can go, if that woman finds me again I-"

He felt eyes on him, and he saw a group of five... girls? He couldn't quite tell. Each of them was small, they were floating. One of them had ice crystals floating behind her back, another had bug wings, one of them seemed to be wearing a songbird costume, one of them was wearing a black dress that seemed to be made out of smoke and the final one had a cape that billowed under no wind.

"I, the strongest, have come to... what were we doing?"

"We're here to... fight I think? That's what we usually do right?"

"Uh- girls-"

"No no no, it was something else, something else this time!"

"Everyone?"

"Definitely something else! But I don't remember."

"GIRLS!"

The bird, the dark one, the bug one and the biggest idiot of them all turned to face the small fairy with bug-like wings.

"He's already left!"

"AFTER HIM!"

Now, while they were talking, Kazuma had slipped away, but he hadn't gone very far, in fact, he had only rounded a corner and then leaned against it as he watched the five fairy-like girls dash past him. They might look small and innocent, but he had no doubt, they would do really bad things to him just like anyone else.

"Well I'm lucky they're dumb though," he muttered to himself as he watched them rush away, taking to the sky and disappearing into the distance. "Can everyone here fly? Seriously..."

"Not everyone, but, most."

"Well- wait, who are you?" Kazuma turned around and raised his hand into guard, and then he realized that he wasn't where he had just been. He actually was on a big plush bed, in a very, very rich and ritzy looking room, everything was red and velvet and black and pastel pink. Before him was a maid, a young woman with white hair in a blue maid dress, and fear seized him for a moment-

But she was human, and was therefore unaffected by his power.

"Why am I here?"

He had no delusions about it being a rescue.

"My mistress has requested your presence," she said, though it was obviously not a request he could turn down. "I will prepare you for her..."

She raised a knife that she had pulled from an apron pocket entirely too small to actually fit inside. She tapped a gloved finger against its tip and then slid it along the knife's edge.

Kazuma gulped.

"Do be still, these are very sharp," she said, as she raised her hand and then with a flick of her wrist, threw not one but three knives- directly at Kazuma's crotch!

He put his hands in front of his junk but the knives never hit, instead, she had cut through the fabric of his briefs, leaving his junk covered only by his hands as the shreds of his last piece of clothing fell to nothing around him.

Crying in fear, Kazuma turned around and tried to run away from the maid, but even as he did, he found himself back on the bed every time he approached the door. It was almost as if she was stopping time, grabbing him, and putting him back there every time, but that was way too overpowered, he was supposed to be the one with the cheat ability there was no way she had one too right?

He tried over and over again and then finally he managed to nearly put his hand on the doorknob to escape when suddenly he stumbled into the white void that he remembered being dumped in the first time he woke up after he died.

Had he died again?

"No, not quite," a soft, mature, almost charming voice spoke.

Kazuma raised his face and looked at- half of a woman? Half of a woman was sticking out of what appeared to be a hole in the air itself, the insides of which seemed to be a wriggling mass of meat and eyes. He shuddered and cast his gaze away from that and back at the beautiful blonde with fox ears.

"You're alive, for now," the woman said. "And you," she said, rounding up on the cyan haired goddess that Kazuma remembered.

It was her who had done everything to him.

"You're going to fix the mess that you made," the fox woman spoke. "You'll do your job properly, you'll reincarnate him where and how you're supposed to, and we'll pretend none of this ever happened."

"Y-Y-Yes! I- er- I'll, I'll do that, yes sir, yes Lady Yukari sir, I won't- I won't screw around anymore I promise please don't kill me."

The fox woman pulled a fan from under the seam, inside the hole, and fanned her face, while adjusting the cloth cap on her head, a vulpine smirk on her face. "Attagirl," she said, covering her face with the fan by opening it. "Now, next time you're by, do come by if you want to be eaten up," she spoke, closing the fan and licking her lips suggestively, before allowing herself to fall back into the hole, which closed behind her.

It was only then that Kazuma realized he had lost the possibility to lose his virginity to a gorgeous, voluptuous and extremely sexy older woman, and thus, despair settled as he realized what sort of opportunity he had just thrown away.

Needless to say, Aqua the goddess got annoyed with him again, he got annoyed with her, and then they wound up stuck together in the mortal world but that's a story for another time.