A Hospital Paste by Q

Today was.... Was. Hope you'll have a laugh. This is also the first time I wrote anything since secondary school so it might have some issues :P

Enjoy!

Fuck my life...

Be me...

Last medical test ahead. Lovely day, even the sun came out.

Got up before 8, took shower, got my IVy, had hand exercises 

Two hours of chill and bliss before they'll throw my ass into the little hospital shuttle

11:20 the trip begins to the second building. Lovely Sopot.jpg

You arrive on time, quick registration

You are second in line and quickly get inside

You are told to take off your bra, watch, you ask about the piercings.

They have to go.

Ohfuck.gif

You manage, you'll worry later, this will take just a moment, right?

You fulfil nurse's tasks to the letter, it'll be faster that way

Dafuq_is_that.wav

They need the pink cannula for contrast, not the blue one... 

Fuckmylife.exe

The nurse searches for the vein

She found it.

She flushes it with saline.

Blood is not coming back...

She flushes it again and again. Nothing.

Something is not right

You have two cannulas now.

More flushing, but nothing changes, no swelling too, but there is no blood

- I am so sorry, we need to look for a different vein

Oh... Fuck...

She finally found it. Right arm, inside the elbow

Rinsing.

It worked.

Blood..?

It came back after flushing so it's actually working

Testing testing.

Let's do this.

GG EZ

Shitgotreal.gif

Tomography scanner goes brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

You feel warmth in your arm from the contrast agent

All as planned.

The warmth stops...

There is weird tension in your upper arm

Oshitoshitoshit

Houston-we-have-a-problem.mp5

The nurse came in a rush

-is it bad?

-umpmhm

Your arm is Arnold S. sized

Raiders of the lost vein..

You now have the total of 5 cannulas you can hear "gotta catch 'em all" playing in your mind

You're destroyed, your arm is not bending anymore

Your blood is on the bed part of the machine and some bits and bobs

You feel for the nurse, she really is trying her best, but she can't really work with what you have provided..

The last cannula seems to be the thing

You are promised that this is the last one, no more jabs

Here we go again....

Tomography scanner goes brrrrrrrrrrrr

You're scared, you'll have flashbacks

You pray to any gods that are listening so that your arm doesn't fucking explode

Panic.gif

The doors open, the nurse came to tell you that all is good and that they did the test

Lol vut?

You didn't feel a thing

surprisedpicachuface.gif

It's over

It's finally over.

You can now get dressed

Your arm is a bit numb

But you were joking the whole fucking time, what else was there to do?

The nurse was laughing hard, you were crying and laughing due to various issues

Generally you had so much laugh you're a hobbit now

You go to the changing room, somehow you manage to put your piercings back in and the bra

We.are.the.champions.mp3

Back in the shuttle, you go back to the safety of your room, all is in the past.

You have only two cannulas left.

You are hungry, you didn't have breakfast, but the dinner was left for you

Food is salvation

Borshch.jpg

The second dish is covered with a plate, you move it aside and half of your food unsticks and falls on the ground.

Happily, you received one litre of saline with all the flushing, you have two does of contrast in your veins and underneath your skin, and you were told to drink at least 3 litres of water so you flush the contrast out of your system. You are NOT going to be hungry