Chapter 42

Etson City Hall, Etson - 4:32 PM

We traversed to the higher floors of city hall, much to the confusion of Kayla and Jeff. Corwin was just happy to be a part of things and I was really enjoying his energy. No one spoke as we passed by what would have added up to over a hundred bodies by the time we got to the third floor. I led them to a janitor’s closet and opened it to expose a dark spiral staircase that descended far deeper than the first floor.

Kayla looked down and frowned. “This is the middle of the building, isn’t it?” she asked.

“Yup,” I told her. “And yes, we would have passed through this staircase if it actually existed. The system cares not for architectural continuity.”

“What does the system care for, then?”

“Numbers, I imagine. Coming up with different stats. Sending monsters after unsuspecting people-”

“Okay, I got it,” Kayla said with a huff, throwing her arms in the air. “The system can casually alter space to be whatever it wants. I get it.”

“It might as well be magic,” Jeff agreed.

“It could be. I never really did find a concrete answer to what the system actually is,” I said. “It just is, so there’s no use dwelling on it. Let’s head on down.”

Kayla and Jeff nodded and I began my descent. The ornate spiral staircase, which looked flimsy but was surprisingly sturdy, led us nearly fifty feet downwards. We were well below the sewers by the time we made it to another doorway. I felt a hand on my shoulder as we plodded along, and I realized that there were no light sources. I was fine due to the Straw Hat of the Seer and its Clear Eyes ability, but they had nothing similar to it. Out of respect, I slowed down.

At the bottom of the stairwell was a thick and sturdy door made up of vertical planks of wood instead of a solid piece. In place of a knob, a single round handle sat on the right side of the door. With no hesitation or fanfare, I pulled it open and light flooded onto us.

Inside was a room made of black brick that were lit by ten tall Gothic-style candelabras, five to our left and five to our right. I began walking towards the only thing in the room aside from the lit candles: the safe. It was large, nearly as tall as I was, and looked to be some sort of gun safe. It was possible that at least one gun was inside, but it wasn’t likely given our party’s composition.

I reached for the safe’s dial as I set about another explanation, and the Mills flanked me on either side with Corwin between Jeff and myself. “This is called a Safe Room, not to be confused with a Safe Zone,” I said. “Mostly because a lot of these are guarded by enemies and puzzles, but luckily the Faithful have already cleared this one out for us. Every city at least Etson’s size has at least one, and some of the bigger cities have a few.”

“How come they haven’t gotten into the safe yet?” Jeff asked. “I imagine there’s clues around to figure out the combination.”

“You’re absolutely right that there is, but they have to scour the building for the code and tension’s a little high right now so they’re not focusing on it. After all, who else knows it exists?”

“Just the guy who can see the future,” Kayla answered.

“And all they know is that I have some kind of divine spark on me, not even that I know shit about the future. So, they think they have time.”

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask about that,” Jeff said. “Exactly what did Alexander mean when he talked about divinity?”

I hesitated, stopping the dial on one of the correct numbers, and sighed. “It’s very complicated and personal.” Kayla leaned in, her eyes narrowed as she looked at my face. I looked down at her and arched an eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing, just thinking,” she claimed, backing up and out of sight.

I made a face and returned to the safe. The angelic splinter was something I had put a lot of thought into, and I figured it was the spiritual manifestation of Esaraphelscion’s Kiss, the boon Sara had provided to me at the end of my last run. We hadn’t talked about how it would appear, just what it would do. “I promise you that all will be revealed before we leave Etson.”

“Hmm, interesting,” Jeff said. I turned to see that his eyes were also narrowed as he studied me. Slowly, he backed out of view just as his wife had.

“Ya’ll are weird.” Rolling my eyes, I got back to work. The duo were whispering behind me, and I caught the phrase “it makes him sad” from Jeff, who no doubt thought he was being quiet. Trying to ignore them, I finally opened up the safe, having messed it up twice due to how long it had been since the last time I needed to. Not that they needed to know that. I grabbed the five spoke handle and spun it until it let me pull the door open.

The inside of the safe was comprised of six sections with a tall section for guns, four alongside it, and a wide space at the top. Six boxes of varying shapes were inside, one in each cubby, and I started Pulling them out and setting them down as best I could without dropping them. The tallest one was labeled as a Weapons Box, and the others notified me that they were a Head Box, a Chest Box, a Gloves Box, a Pants Box, and a Shoes Box. Each had a picture on the lid so you could tell what part of the body they were for at a glance.

With my foot, I lifted the floor of the bottom cubby and Lifted a pair of golden tickets. I placed them on top of the boxes. They were Points Tickets and could be used at any shop to gain points instantly. They were hidden in the safe, but they were always found anyway. These tickets could be used to gain 500 points each and would go a long way into helping Kayla and Jeff get better.

“So these are a little bit like gacha pulls, but better,” I explained, squatting next to the line of boxes I made. “These are inherently better than most other boxes with random things inside of them because they come from a safe room. Whoever opens these will get an item that appears tailored to them. Sometimes it looks at your stats, sometimes it looks at your class, but whatever the item is, it’s conjured for you.”

“And you were just going to ignore these?” Jeff asked incredulously.

“Yeah?” I asked more than said. “Look, making myself more powerful will never stop being a thing, but I need to find a good balance between making myself more powerful and allowing others to have the resources they need to survive, too. If I go and take all the good shit then that just makes me a dick. Even the Faithful will do some good with them.”

“We appreciate it, psychic boy,” Kayla said. “I know we were giving you a hard time earlier, but we’re both really on edge.”

“No worries at all,” I answered with a smile as I stood up and moved away. “Just because I look like I know everything that’s going to happen doesn’t mean I don’t freak out about stuff, too. I’m just a lot better at hiding it.”

Kayla approached me and gave me a small hug before looking down at the boxes. I had set them down in a row so that the pictures could be seen easily. She squatted down in the same place I had been and Jeff joined her. Corwin moved to rest against me, and I scratched behind his ears.

“I don’t know if your pants are magical, but you could have this Gloves Box, at least,” Kayla said while Jeff nodded his agreement. “We wouldn’t have this if it weren’t for you. Or even the points.”

“Because I know you’re going to argue and I don’t want that, I’ll make you a deal,” I said, crossing my arms and leaning against the black stone wall. “If I’m satisfied by your guys’ loot by the time all the boxes are opened, then I’ll take it. If I’m not, then it’s yours.”

Kayla and Jeff looked at each other before nodding. “Good enough, I suppose,” she said before moving her ticket into her inventory.

“I already have a good weapon, so you should get that box,” Jeff said, doing the same with his own ticket. “And because you have leather pants that look amazing on you, I’ll take the Pants Box.”

“That sounds fair,” Kayla responded. “You should take the Head Box, too. I’m not a fan of hats.”

“Sure, then you can have the Chest Box and the Shoes Box. I’ll take the Gloves Box if ole psychic boy isn’t satisfied.” The two of them divvied up the boxes between them, and Jeff grinned while rubbing his hands together. “This kind of feels like Christmas, you know?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I know. Go ahead, you two; I’d rather not have to fight up the staircase if we take too long.”

“You should have told us if you were in such a rush,” Jeff teased before nudging his wife.

Kayla grabbed the Weapon Box that was only a foot shorter than she was and knelt in front of it before opening the lid. A flash of blinding light lit the room as a short, congratulatory jingle played from nowhere. Once she removed the hand covering her eyes, Kayla reached in and pulled out a thick dagger. Despite the box’s large size, nothing else was inside.

Nevertheless, I nodded in approval as Kayla read its stats off. “The Vanishing Dagger,” she said as she held it aloft. It was pitch black from end to end, featured a wicked curve, and had no cross guard to protect the hand. With a twist of her wrist, it vanished into thin air. “Plus two to strength, plus three to dexterity, and the In The Palm skill, which lets me do that and keep the bonuses as if it were equipped.” To demonstrate, she made the Vanishing Dagger reappear with another flick of the wrist, and then made it disappear a second time.

“Not a bad start,” I said. “Being able to have a weapon equipped at all times, even when not holding it, will never be a terrible option.”

“You go ahead next, honey,” Kayla said to Jeff as he stood there, fidgeting.

He sat down quickly with all the enthusiasm of a kid at Christmas and tore into the Head Box. Just like the Weapon Box this one opened with a flash and a jingle but, in his infinite excitement, Jeff pulled out the item without waiting for the fanfare to end. In his hands were a pair of sleek goggles with a frame made of brass and a black band. “Goggles of the Trojan Prince?” Jeff asked, holding them up.

“Oh, that’s pretty good,” I told him.

“Plus five to my dexterity, plus three to constitution, and the Spot Weakness skill that lets me see the best areas for a critical hit on a target of my choosing for up to thirty seconds,” Jeff said, stroking his chin and nodding. Kayla giggled, and he looked over at her.

“The Trojan Prince they’re referencing is Paris,” she said with amusement. “He’s the one who killed Achilles with a poisoned arrow to his heel. Sorry, I just found it funny.”

“Huh, that is pretty amusing,” Jeff said with a chuckle. He put the goggles on and adjusted them. They looked a lot more steampunk than one would think goggles from ancient Troy would look, but perhaps I just thought of all brass goggles that way. Jeff shifted so that he was looking at Kayla again.

“Oh, my turn again?” she asked, to which he nodded. “Alright, I’ll go ahead with the Chest Box. Just work my way down.” Kayla picked up the box and set it on her lap after shifting to a more comfortable sitting position. Jeff did a little drum roll on the floor, causing her to smile, and she opened the box. Then, after the fanfare, she immediately closed it.

“What is it?” Jeff asked with a questioning glance. From where he was sitting, he didn’t have a chance to see it. I had.

“You’ll see soon,” Kayla said, giving me a look that practically begged me to say something about it. Despite the warning, I still had to stifle a laugh. “Plus one moxie. Comfort Plus.”

“Fucking gold, is what it is,” I said, feeling amused but also extremely jealous. The item was only on display for a second or two, but I already knew from just that. The item was a lacy purple bra known as the Queen’s Brassiere. It was also known as the world’s only comfortable bra. It gave plus one to a special stat, in this case Kayla’s moxie, and Comfort Plus. Magical bras were rare, but not unheard of, and just like the Leopard Print Undies I usually rocked by the time I made it to Sara, they were sought after far and wide.

Kayla turned the box so that she could use the lid to stop me from seeing it when she opened it for Jeff. He peered inside and the biggest grin formed on his face. “Nice,” he said, prompting her to slam the box shut again. She tilted her head towards me and glared at her husband.

“Do I need to leave you two alone?” I teased.

“Yes,” Jeff answered.

“No,” Kayla said at the same time before smacking Jeff on the arm. “No, I’ll… change after these boxes. Open yours up.”

“Yes ma’am,” Jeff said, still grinning. Kayla looked ready to smack him again, but he was already opening his Pants Box. Jeff ignored the flash of light and pulled out a pair of black pants that looked like they would end somewhere between his knees and his calves with black wrappings. They looked like flood pants, but the wannabe swashbuckler nodded as he read it over.

“Duelist’s Trousers,” he claimed. “Plus three strength, plus three dexterity, and plus three constitution, and it comes with the Marked Target skill. I can mark someone to duel me and they’ll get penalties if they attack anyone else.”

“Forced debuffs that can’t be countered like that are really good,” I said. “A plus nine overall and a skill, that’s a good get.”

Unable to contain his excitement, Jeff was already starting to unbuckle his belt. “You can change after, honey,” Kayla said, glancing back at me.

He followed her gaze and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, just a bit excited.”

I held up my hands. “No problem, man, I understand it.” Honestly, I had no problem with it, but I wasn’t about to bring that up. Years and years in a system where clothes weren’t invincible made sure you didn’t come out the other side a prude, but I also didn’t want these two to get the wrong idea. “Kayla, your Shoes Box is next.”

With a nod, Kayla placed the last box on top of the Shoes Box and slowly opened it up. I’m not sure what she thought could be, but she hid it from me this time with the lid. A sigh of relief left her lips as she saw it was just a regular pair of boots. She pulled one out and showed it off. It was made of black leather that would go nice with the rich brown of her leather pants, and looked like it would come up to her knee. Laces went from the top, where there were small folds, all the way down to the ankle. Even with a small heel, it looked like they would be easy to run in.

“Boots of the Illusionist. Plus three to dexterity, plus three to credibility, and the Aural Footsteps passive,” Kayla read off. “Oh, that’s neat. It magically muffles my footsteps when I want it to and, when I’m using Part of the Crowd to appear like another species, it changes my footsteps to match that of the species.”

“And the sneaky become sneakier,” I said, smiling. “The system is turning you into a proper Double Agent. I’m excited to see how you do.”

“So am I. I have to say, I was really worried going through the Vespae stronghold,” Kayla admitted. “It’s just that my footsteps were so loud and I could swear they all could tell I wasn’t one of them. My heart was just about ready to jump out of my chest.”

“It’s something that takes some getting used to, but you’re already doing a lot better than even I could imagine.”

“High praise,” Kayla said, smiling. She turned to Jeff and squeezed his leg. “Alright, last one.”

Jeff had been sitting and staring at the Gloves Box, obviously thinking. He turned to me, but I shot him down. “Not satisfied, it’s yours,” I said.

“You taking it was never an option, was it?” he asked, to which I just smiled mischievously. “I’ve decided to save it.”

Kayla tilted her head. “Are you sure?”

Jeff nodded with conviction. “Yeah, I’m sure. It’ll be nice to have now, I’m sure, but I want to wait to open it up once I have a class. I mean, you got two items that increased your special stats, so there’s a good chance that I’ll get one after I have more stats, too.”

“An excellent choice, dear Jeffry,” I told him.

“Okay. But if you need it, you take it,” Kayla said sternly. “Just like whatever class you’ve been offered.”

“Deal,” Jeff said with a quick kiss to his wife. He slid the Gloves Box and the empty boxes into his inventory.

“I’m going to let you two change,” I said. Instead of leaving right away, though, I picked up three of the candelabras and shoved them into my inventory with the candles still burning. “Grab one on the way up so you can see, yeah?”

“We’ll just be a minute or two,” Kayla said as she stood up.

“Or three, or four,” Jeff added, doing the same.

“Crazy kids.” I chuckled at the glare Kayla shot at him. With one last ear scratch to Corwin, I headed towards the door and closed it behind me as I left.

The staircase was much more tedious to ascend than it was to descend, but far more interesting. I heard someone at the top of the stairs shuffling around. “I’m coming, I’m coming, hold your horses.”

Whoever it was stopped, then retreated to the top of the stairs. Silently, I wondered how many had come to face me. Face us, I corrected. There was no reason to go around with that kind of thinking anymore. Putting it aside, my mind shifted to think of more prudent things like how many of the Etson Faithful there would be, how many would be from Father Alexander’s inner circle, and how worried I should be that I might kill them.

I reached the top of the stairs and left the janitor’s closet to see five healers, eight thugs, a woman in thick yellow robes, and Father Alexander’s top enforcer.

“Well look at all of you,” I said with a grin. “Seems like I didn’t have to worry after all.”