Water Kanin: Chapter 48 – Gods and Gambles

“Erm, what do you mean, you know me?” I ask, nervous. Does this have something to do with those… feelings I got when she touched my vial? The sensation that I was missing something. That there was a gap in what I could remember.

Blair presses her fingertips together, watching me closely. “This situation is unprecedented, so you will have to excuse me for exercising caution. I am still deciding how much is safe to tell you. If this is some manipulation on the part of the remnant, you will receive no information at all. If you are truly who you say you are… then you at least deserve some explanation.”

“I guess that’s fair,” I say, wondering what else will happen in the “you will receive no information at all” scenario. “How can I prove that I’m not a mindless, soul-eating shadow monster masquerading as an ink bottle? Besides, you know, talking to you like I’m doing now.”

Her mouth twitches. Was that an almost smile, or almost frown? I really need to wrangle my nervous rambling under control.

“You can start by explaining how you came to be in the body you currently reside in,” she says. “You were a human before, correct?”

How the hell does she know all this?

Right, she’s a god and all that. She just doesn’t feel very godly. It wouldn’t feel any different from chatting with Rezira (or any other grumbly friend), if it weren’t for the mind shenanigans, teleportation, and terrifying displays of magic.

I guess that “if” is carrying a lot of weight.

“Okay,” I say. “It’s a bit of a story.”

“That is fine.” Her mouth twitches again, and this time, I’m pretty sure it is a smile. “I have all the time in the world.”

I glance at Zyneth, still frozen in his bubble. Hang in there, man.

Ink, currently in control of our void, has settled into a still pool of shadows at the back of our dome. It occasionally ripples with frustration and uncertainty, but mostly it’s focused on what I’m thinking, interpreting my and Blair’s conversation through the filter of my mind. It’s paying close attention, but feels just as tense as I do. We both need this conversation to go well.

So, I tell her. I explain how I died, how I got stuck in the Between, how the predator attacked me, and how I came out the other side with access to Echo and the System. Blair stops me at this point.

“Echo?” she asks.

“Oh, uh, the voice that says all the stats,” I explain. “I call her Echo.”

This summons a small chuckle from her. “You named the System?”

“I guess?” I attempt a shrug, which is easier said than done. “Or just the portion that talks, at least. It didn’t feel right not calling her anything. She’s some kind of artificial intelligence, right?”

Blair tips her head. “An interesting descriptor. Not entirely inaccurate.”

I guess that’s as much as I’ll get out of her for now. I continue to explain the Void Stat, my Role, Trenevalt, how the predator attacked and killed him—She frowns at this, her gaze traveling to Ink instead. It bristles.

The rest is a blur. Peakshadow. Getting Noli back to her body. Storing the predator in my Inventory. Yedzaquib, Gillow, and Emrox. Retelling the story reminds me of something else I’d just experienced. A memory Ink recalled when we were fighting Yedzaquib. This time, I’m the one who stops talking.

“Kanin?” Blair prompts after I’m silent for a moment.

“That thing Yedzaquib used,” I say. “I think something like that was used on us in Emrox. That’s why we lost some of our void. That’s why the predator’s Influence stat dropped after that. Part of it got ripped away and stuck in that null marble. Right?”

Blair watches us carefully. Then, she simply replies, “Yes.”

No wonder it felt so dangerous. No wonder we feel repulsed by its very existence.

“Why?” I ask, a dozen other pieces suddenly clicking together. “Is it designed for remnants? How many more are there out there? Why are they in the Ruins? What do you want with these remnants? The one that Yedzaquib trapped—what will happen to the soul that it was bound to? Will they be okay? Can we get them out? Is this happening to all the souls I brought here? What—”

“Calm down,” Blair says, raising a placating hand. She exhales a quiet laugh. “Calm down. I can only answer one thing at a time.”

She stops to think, her tail flicking back and forth. Her clothes continue to drift slowly about her form.

“This is what I will tell you for now,” she finally decides. “These ‘lost souls,’ as you call them, are not all accounted for. And we have detected a pattern of many of them becoming entangled with remnants. Now that I have more context… I suspect that is in large part due to the way you brought them here. They experienced an intimate interaction with your remnant while being transferred to this world. This is speculation on my part, but that might have resulted in their manifestation occurring near other remnants.”

Oh, god. How many of them were consumed by a remnant the way the fire person was? Were any of them able to retain their autonomy, like me?

“Can they be separated from these remnants?” I ask. “Will they be okay?”

Blair’s expression softens. “Did you know these souls?”

“No,” I admit.

“Yet you seem to care very much about their well-being,” she notes.

“Of course,” I say. “It’s my fault they’re here. I have to help them. I don’t want them to suffer.”

She smiles sadly at that. “That is kind of you. Though I’m afraid to say it is doubtful that there is anything you can do to assist those afflicted with a remnant.”

My soul grows heavy at her words. I think I already know the answer to this one, but I have to ask, anyway. “There isn’t a way to separate their soul from the remnant, is there?”

Yedzaquib had implied as much before; extracting Ink from my soul would kill me. And when I’d witnessed him use that null marble—or refiner, or whatever it was—on the fire person, their soul had gotten pulled into it along with the remnant.

“No,” Blair admits. “There is not.”

My soul sinks. “Is there any way to kill them?” I ask. “Maybe if the remnant is destroyed…”

Ink bristles. Our void doesn’t move, but it surges to the forefront of my mind. Destroy? I want to kill it? Impossible. Nothing can kill it. How dare I suggest such a thing! Ink roils with anger, offense, and… the faintest flicker of hurt.

Calm down, I tell it. I’m not asking about you.

But Blair shakes her head. “They cannot be killed, only contained. That is why such prisons exist.”

Well, I think, there you have it.

I watch Ink as I process this. It simmers down at first, then puffs itself up with a smug satisfaction. See? It knew it couldn’t be destroyed.

But there’s an undercurrent of relief there too, I think.

I feel… I don’t know. I kind of think I was expecting this. Maybe I should be distraught. But I guess I’d already come to accept that Ink’s a part of me for a while now. Is this the life I would have picked for myself? Hah! I mean, no, obviously not. But I’m making it work as best I can. And figuring out a way to live with Ink is a hell of a lot more preferable to being dead.

Honestly, though, it’s not me I’m worried about. I can’t get the image of that burned corpse out of my head. Ink and I might have found a way to coexist, but the same can’t be said for others.

“Then what can I do?” I ask, suddenly lost. I’d decided I was going to find these souls and help them, but I’d never really known how. And now I’ve got an actual god telling me even they don’t even have the power to help these people. “There’s got to be something. We can’t just let them suffer like that.”

Blair shakes her head with a small smile.

The expression irks me. “I don’t see how any of that is funny.”

At that, she laughs. “Forgive me. It is not their fate I find amusing, but rather the enigma that is you. You don’t much treat me like a god.”

Oh. Yeah. Talking back to a deity probably isn’t most people’s go-to. “Sorry,” I say. “It doesn’t really feel like I’m talking to a god. Er, no offense,” I quickly add.

“None taken.” Her smile fades. “To address your concern, the pantheon is taking action to prevent the suffering of those who have been consumed by a remnant.” Blair gestures to Zyneth. “When it is possible to avoid bloodshed, we have ways of suspending the minds of such individuals.”

“You freeze them?” I say. It takes a moment for the implication of that to sink in. “Like with Yedzaquib? You mean they get stuck like that? How long?”

“As long as is needed,” Blair says.

Well that’s a non-answer. “Has anyone ever been released?”

She doesn’t reply.

“You mean they’re stuck like that forever?” I cry, alarmed. “Can they think? Or feel?”

“It is not our intent to restrain them forever, but they will remain in their stasis until a solution can be reached,” Blair says. “We believe they are unaware of the passage of time while in that state.”

“You believe?” Christ. That’s not mercy. That’s horrific. Some kind of magical coma, maybe for eternity? “You can’t do that to people,” I say. “What about what they want?”

Blair’s expression is blank. “That is not for you to decide. In fact, your fate is yet to be determined as well.”

“What do you mean?” Ice prickles through my soul. “You said if you believed I was me, you’d let me go.”

“I said if I believed you were not being controlled by your remnant, you were owed an explanation,” Blair replies. “Which I am leaning toward granting. However, the pantheon is under orders to search for you and, if found, deliver you to the Hall of the Gods.”

“Why?” I ask, nervousness tingling through me. Ink shifts as well, our void rippling with unease. “What do you guys want from me?” Then I recall that white space I’d been in before, when Blair interrupted the fight with Yedzaquib. “Are you going to put me in some kind of stasis, too? But I’m me! I’m in control, not Ink.”

“If it was in control, it wouldn’t admit to it,” Blair remarks. “But even if you are telling the truth, it remains dangerous.”

“It’s not,” I object, panic mounting.

She raises a skeptical eyebrow.

“It’s not as dangerous as it was before,” I backtrack. “It’s learning! We’re working on it. Please, believe me. Or—or believe him!” I point to Zyneth. “The remnant’s not connected to him. So you can trust what he says, right?”

Blair eyes Zyneth thoughtfully. “I am unsure anyone’s testimony is enough to sway the will of the pantheon,” she says. “However, he can independently confirm or refute what you’ve told me so far. Alright. I will speak with him, as you ask.”

Somehow this makes me a little relieved and a lot more worried. At least I’ll get Zyneth un-frozen. But I hope this doesn’t put him in even more danger. Blair stands, moving to Zyneth’s dome.

With a dismissive wave, the orange shell dissolves into motes of light and Zyneth comes unstuck, taking a defensive step back as he raises his knife. Then he jumps, looking around in surprise. His gaze lands on Blair, sweeps the surrounding streets, and finds me.

“Kanin!” He leaps forward, pressing a hand against my barrier. He quickly runs it up and down the shell, as if feeling for a gap or weakness. “Are you alright?”

“Er, kinda,” I start, but Zyneth is clearly still processing everything.

He defensively raises his weapon toward Blair, still keeping a hand on my dome with his free hand. “Who is this? Where is Yedzaquib? Why are you inside this barrier?”

“Zyneth, this is Blair. Blair, Zyneth,” I say. Nerves are still running through me, but I don’t want to worry Zyneth. “She’s a god. Of…” I Check her Stats again. “High Partitioner… Partitioning? Blair, what are you the god of?”

“Wards,” she says.

“Oh.” I tap the barrier with one of my glass legs. “That makes sense.”

Zyneth stares at me. Then he stares at the god.

Blair holds out a hand to beckon him on. “Come, Zyneth. Walk with me. I have things I wish to speak with you about.”

“Wait. Where are you going?” I hope I don’t sound as worried as I feel.

“Out of earshot,” she says flatly. She raises an expectant eyebrow at Zyneth. He hesitates.

Zyneth drops into a crouch by my side. “Are you actually okay?” he asks me quietly.

“She hasn’t done anything to me so far,” I respond, also lowering my translator’s volume. “But she did single-handedly get rid of Yedzaquib. And she can probably hear us talking.”

He sheaths his knife, then turns a shoulder in her direction to hide his hands. “She really a god?” he signs stiffly.

“I think so,” I sign back. I don’t have a way to hide my signs, so I’ll just have to hope she can’t read them. “Please be careful. Don’t attack her or do anything to get yourself killed.”

He huffs out a quiet laugh. “That’s my line.” Then his smile turns into a grimace, and he stands. Blair begins to stroll away and Zyneth hesitantly follows, glancing back once to look at me.

Ink paces back and forth in our cage as I watch them walk away. After that, all I can do is hope and wait.