Confessions of the Magpie Wizard Book 3: Dissolution (Chapter 58 & 59)

Art of Yukiko by Yoghurt Stripper 

Chapter 58

The moment is frozen in my mind. The delicious scents of the restaurant. The three different printings of The Great Wave off Kanagawa, one for each of the non-moving walls in case the tourists couldn’t see it from their seat. There are moments that your mind realizes are pivotal and it records everything it can. Hell, I can even remember the smell of the sake on Dante’s breath from across the table.

Home? That ought to have been music to my ears. I had longed to be free of my disguise for so long. I was ready to discard Soren and just be myself again. I was uneasy allies with Maggie and her cohort, at best, and Rose’s comments had made me realize that they would never accept me at the school. This was the lifeline I had longed for.

Then why did it feel like a punch to the gut?

I took a swig of water to cover up my expression. I needed to project strength.

“This is certainly sudden,” I said. “I imagine that’s why you wanted me to bring my notes? I had thought we were going to share my findings.”

Girdan laughed dismissively. “I’ve read your reports up until now. It seems like all your time is taken up with class and homework.”

“I was under orders to pretend to be a student here,” I replied. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t pretend to turn in the homework assignments. Our Father Below knew how long I would be here, and I didn’t want to raise suspicions.”

“And chasing the co-eds was just part of the cover, then?” Fera crossed her arms under her chest.

“Why, my dear, is that a note of jealousy in your voice? I assure you, she was simply a way to fill the time until we were reunited.”

It would have been better for me if Dante hadn’t mentioned Kiyo at all, but now I had to dance around it. One of the first rules of courting a devilmaid of a certain stature is that she feels full license to throw herself at anybody who scratches her itch, but you had best downplay your own dalliances. Women of Fera’s rank were rather possessive of their partners. It almost made you appreciate the lower-class devils; they were glad to share your attention, as long as you plied them with coins or compliments.

“Anyhow, I think this is a tad premature,” I continued. “I haven’t had to chance to learn anything really secret yet.”

“It’s all been decided for you,” said Girdan. “Fera’s man isn’t in town for long. He has the proper papers and tickets to get you to Ireland.”

“It was a bear getting a passport with your beaky gob on it, I’ll tell you that much,” said Dante.

“We can arrange to get you back to England from there. It will be a delight to have you back, little Magpie,” said Fera, adding a little giggle at the nickname. I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned that in any of my reports.

That annoying nickname wasn’t the only thing that had me wary. I smelled a kobold, and it wasn’t just Dante’s rancid breath wafting over at me. Don’t trust a devil who offers you your heart’s desire out of the blue. I had done my duty per our arrangement, but they had maneuvered me such that I had no bargaining power.

It would be best to feel things out to see where the trap was. “I suppose it will be good to be back in civilization again. I’ve missed being your aide de camp, sir.”

“Aide?” Girdan let out a derisive snort. “You misunderstand, boy. You’re coming home, but you are not going to get your old rank so easily. You violated a sacred trust when you stole from me and seduced my sweet, innocent daughter.”

I really had grown since the trial; I was able to hold my tongue, despite the nonsense he was spewing. “Then what shall I be returning to?”

“Old Dewdrop is starting to get on in years. Goblins only last so long before they are used up,” said Fera. “I could use a new manservant. I know how much you love tending to me. It might as well be your new vocation.”

“Unacceptable!” I slammed my fist in the center of the table. “I am Captain Malthus, the one who brought down Big Ben with a Fireball! I cut off a wizard platoon that was about to overrun your position, Girdan, or are you forgetting? You owe me your life!”

“Owe you?” Girdan straightened up and leaned towards the fabricata camera. “You were my underling. You were obligated to give me no less than your best. And watch your tone; I won’t take any lip from the help.”

“After all I did for you, at the risk of life and limb! Do you know how hard it was to get that information to the right ears without exposing my cover?” Not hard at all, since I had Maggie as my middleman, but the negotiating table is hardly the place for the full truth.

“You passed along that intel to the Wizard Corps and cut off ex-Grand General Beez, but don’t make more of it than it is,” said Fera. “Your tantrum at your trial destroyed your standing in the court for good. Did you wonder why your father’s position was ever at risk? You left quite a mess behind.”

I can’t say I had given Father more than a few passing thoughts since I had left. He certainly hadn’t mentioned any such thing when he had seen me off.

I put aside my guilt. That wouldn’t do me any good. “The last time we saw each other,” I started, before swallowing to steady my voice. “Fera, when I left Pandemonium, you said I’d come back crowned in glory, if I came back at all. That I would be the first spy to return after an extended trip in the human realms. How can you do this to me?”

Fera pursed her lips thoughtfully. “I did, didn’t I?”

“When did you have a chance to talk with her?” asked Girdan, his voice tinged with suspicion. Fera’s eyes widened.

“She popped by the morning that Father and I set out for Calais.” He didn’t need to know I’d snuck into his villa in Pandemonium for a quickie with Fera. It had been a good time, but not worth getting the old goat riled up over. “It was rather thoughtful of her.”

Fera’s shoulders relaxed, though she was still on her guard. It was almost like she had forgotten about our little dalliance, which was as much as a slap in the face as being booted into the lower class. “Malthus, if it were up to me, you’d come back a Grand General. Alas, your name is still spoken of in harsh tones in the courts. This is the only way, you see.”

“But I did what you said,” I said, a little dumbly. “You promised.”

“Things change,” said Fera.

“Oh, don’t get so dramatic,” said Girdan. “You passed along a message to the Wizard Corps. You didn’t strike some great blow against the enemy.”

“Then it’s no deal,” I said. I stood and retrieved my bag. “Thank you for a lovely time, Dante, but I’ll be taking my leave.”

“You’re disobeying Mistress Fera?” Dante’s eyes went wide, and I think that shock sobered him up.

“Where are you going?” Girdan’s voice had an all-too familiar tone, surprise right before it became rage. I had heard it a hundred times while in his care. Shame for him he couldn’t lash me from Italy.

“What do you care? It’s not like you need me to be your butler. Goblins and common devils are a dinar a dozen.”

“You’re bluffing,” said Fera. “I know from your letters how much you want to come back to Pandemonium.”

“Not under those terms! If it has to come to it, I have a comfortable enough life here.” I scratched my chin thoughtfully. “You know, if I’m not coming home, I could make it even more comfortable. I wonder what the Wizard Corps will pay me for what I know?”

“That’s treason!” barked Girdan.

“You know Our Father Below’s great law,” I said with a grin. It was fun having Girdan at a disadvantage for once. “You are the only one in the universe that matters, and others exist to further those goals. I have to think about what’s good for Malthus.”

Girdan jabbed a meaty finger at me. “They’ll kill you before you finish confessing, you dip!”

“I think it’s a fifty-fifty chance that they either execute me or give me a posh job in Anti-Demonic League Intelligence. And like Dante’s namesake wrote, it’s better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. Being the League’s pet devil will have some advantages.”

“You traitorous son of a bitch!” Dante lurched to his feet and tensed up, ready to launch himself at me. And who knows, if he hadn’t been soused, he might have had a shot at it.

“Spectral Web.” I twisted my fingers around to concentrate the normally net-shaped energy structure into a narrow stream, which wrapped itself around Dante’s neck in an instant. The other end stayed in my hand. He was already off balance, and a good yank sent him crashing to the floor.

“Breathe… can’t… breathe…”

I strode over and jerked the impromptu leash, earning a gurgle from Dante. “Tell your pet to mind his manners, Fera, or else you’ll need to break in a new one.”

I positively loved the look of dull surprise on Fera’s face. It didn’t last long, though; she had a courtier’s skill of masking her feelings. She shook her head, and her normal, confident mask slipped back into place.

“Let him go, Malthus,” said Fera. I complied with a snap of my fingers, and the magical rope vanished. “Dante, sit still and don’t speak unless spoken to.”

He rubbed his throat, which bore an even, red ring all around it. There was murder in his eyes, but he kept it to himself. “Y-yes… mistress…” He staggered back to his cushion.

“Now then,” I said, grabbing the handle again to recharge the fabricata. “Are you ready to come at me with a real offer?”

“Take a seat,” said Girdan, glowering at me. It seemed I owed Dante. That little scuffle had given my words so much more weight than they had had before.

“I knew you were a reasonable gentledevil.” I knelt down, my pulse racing. “Your lovely daughter told the truth before. I do want to come home, but I’ll expect to at least have my rank back.”

“It isn’t quite so simple,” said Girdan. “This was the best arrangement we could make, under the circumstances.”

I laughed without humor. “And the fact that I’d be cleaning your chamber pot and fetching you tea would only be a side benefit, right? Come off it! You’re just being petty.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” barked Girdan. “There are powerful voices in the Court saying that you can’t be trusted anymore.”

“Yes, that powerful voice being Grand General Girdan the Fair! I know how you think! You were practically my second father. Father wants me back, but you’re still holding a grudge. That’s why you’re trying to bring me home in disgrace; this is the least you could do for me, and if I go along with it, he won’t have any choice but to accept it as well. Don’t make up any nonsense about courtly realities. Father is the Dark Lord’s right-hand devil, and you’re the conqueror of the United Kingdom. If you both say I’m back and restored to Captain, who’s left to disagree?”

Girdan’s face curled in a feral grin. “The Dark Lord himself.”

My stomach sank. “I suppose he would have some say in the matter.”

Chapter 59

“What do you mean, the Dark Lord doesn’t trust me? What have you been telling him?” Girdan’s pronouncement had thrown me for a loop, but my surprise was replaced with righteous indignation.

“What makes you think I had anything to do with it?” Girdan straightened, his green wireframe projection showing feigned innocence.

“I barely know our lord, may he reign until the stars fall from the sky. So somebody had his ear, and you’re the likely culprit!”

“As much fun as it is to listen to you two argue,” interjected Fera, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “I’ll cut it off right now. Father has been good to his word and advocated for you. It’s simply that the Dark Lord believes that a half-human who has spent so much time among humans is suspect by default. Frankly, I have to agree.”

“So, what, I did too good a job blending in and I’m to be punished for it?”

“You weren’t supposed to come home at all,” said Girdan. “We did banish you, and deservedly so! What we ended up with was a compromise between Malthus the Elder’s wishes and the Dark Lord’s.”

“And your animus didn’t enter the equation at all, I imagine?” I said, resting my head on my fist.

“I am a devil of my word,” said Girdan. “You helped me make sure I wouldn’t be under that mackie’s ass Beez’s thumb forever, so I endeavored to help you. Unlike some of us here, I can keep my feelings under control.”

“Malthus, I said you were the only long-term spy we had in the human realms,” said Fera. “That is mostly true. Devils can’t consistently act as irrationally as humans, and we are almost always found out when we try. Those who can stay have some affinity to help them, which I know you don’t have. There’s more, though.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“Dante brought a most interesting news story to my attention. Apparently, you and some of your fellow students saved the Divine Blade from a group of assassins. Why didn’t you let them succeed?”

Blast it all! I had carefully avoided that tale in my correspondence with her, but it stood to reason she had other sources. “I had to look out for myself,” I replied. “If I had been half-hearted in fighting off the Holy Brotherhood, the League could have found me out. At the very least, it would have made blending in that much harder.”

“By keeping one of the most dangerous warriors in the Wizard Corps alive? By Our Father Below, if you’d had his head on a pike, we would have let you come back home in a heartbeat!”

“I did what I had to in order to survive,” I said.

“Really, now?” said Fera. “Dante was kind enough to get me a whole interview with one Hiro Takehara.”

My blood ran cold. “He did what now?”

“Takehara apparently thwarted the Brotherhood in some incident in Taiwan, so the news agencies brought him in for some puff piece,” she said, pulling up a printout. “He thinks quite highly of Soren Marlowe. He credited you with the bulk of the fighting and said, quote, ‘Mr. Maki would have never made it if Magpie hadn’t been there.’”

“Damn Takehara to the very depths of Our Father Below’s domain! He’s an idiot who sees something in me that isn’t there. I have him completely fooled.”

“Humans are idiots, but they’re good at eventually sniffing us out,” said Fera. “You’ve been there since April, had somebody realize you weren’t really Soren Marlowe, revealed that you knew demonic magic and the idea that you’re a demon has apparently never even occurred to anyone. You’re compromised, Malthus. Maybe you always have been. You’re lucky we’ll let you into our household in a lowly position, especially after your talk of selling out to the League.”

“A-a simple negotiating tactic,” I stammered. It was all I could do to keep my breathing regular. Cold sweat ran down my face, and I had to ignore the glee evident in Girdan’s eyes. I locked eyes with Fera’s projection. She was the spy mistress. Hers was the opinion that counted. “Of course I’m loyal to the Dark Lord! I simply can’t take chances. This has been my first hint that I could come home at all. You can’t blame me for doing what I must to fit in.”

“Perhaps,” said Fera, her tone making it clear she didn’t believe a word of it. “You were awfully defensive of your local floozy before. Your father went for a human woman and doted on her. Maybe you have the same softness? How long have you been with this one?”

“A few weeks,” I said. It was the least lie I could tell.

“That’s longer than I’ve ever known you to stick with a woman,” said Girdan.

“Lay them and leave them, sir, like you taught me,” I said, trying to sound deferential. “But these humans think differently. The ones I’ve met aren’t into brief flings, so it was more convenient to keep her.”

“Then prove your loyalty,” said Fera. “She’s asleep. I see a steak knife in the foreground. Put her out of our misery.”

“No!” Good thing I had that silencing spell active, or they’d have heard me in the next prefecture. Girdan and Fera even flinched in the projection.

“I think I have my answer,” said Fera.

“No, it isn’t that! How the devil are we supposed to deal with a body in a crowded restaurant? We would never even get to the airport, even if I were willing to come back in chains!” Fera tried to speak, but I cut her off. I had to keep the momentum, to keep her from pondering my words and actions. I hadn’t wanted to pull out my trump card, but I had been forced to. “I can prove that I haven’t gone soft. I’ve infiltrated the Holy Brotherhood. We have plans to bring down the whole Nagoya Tower! That loss of material and prestige is worth a hundred Divine Blades, and a thousand Reis!”

“Rei?” asked Dante, his voice hoarse. “I thought her name was Kiyo.”

So much for that attempt to keep Kiyo safe. Still, I could use that interruption. “Yes, that’s it. I forget sometimes; they all look the same to me.”

“I’m sure.” Fera let that brush by and held up her paper again, tapping it for emphasis. “Is that supposed to impress me. The Holy Brotherhood are a bunch of incompetents who can’t beat a bottom tier wizard like Hiro Takehara.”

“They didn’t have me before, and I do have experience with bringing down towers.”

“That he does,” said Girdan. He had seemed satisfied to let his daughter speak when we were talking skullduggery and spycraft, but we were drifting back into his area of expertise. “If he could kill the entire student body as well, we would cripple the Wizard Corps for a generation.”

“That I don’t think we can manage,” I said. The very idea made my stomach churn and my blood run cold. They were more right about my attachments than I wanted to admit. I couldn’t bring myself to butcher my fellow students. Thankfully, I had an out. “The Holy Brotherhood is out to reform the Anti-Demonic League, not destroy it. We can get the tower, but they’ll want to save the wizards themselves.”

“That’s a disappointment. Towers can be rebuilt,” said Fera.

“Not this one,” I said. “It’s an extravagant boondoggle that would have bankrupted any school that didn’t have Headmaster Tachibana advocating for them. If it goes down, there won’t be another like it ever again.”

“Then I want their Headmaster too,” said Girdan. “He’s been a thorn in our side for years.”

“I think we can arrange that,” I said, wondering if I was signing checks that I couldn’t cash. Oh, well. I had to give them something. “The Holy Brotherhood is no fan of him either.”

“Dante,” barked Fera. “When does your visa run out?”

“Mistress…” He had to cough, after the garroting I’d given him, and his voice was still strained. “I can stay in Japan until the fifth of September.”

“Two days after the War Games…” I mused aloud. “That’s a hair over three weeks. I’m on it, for the glory of the Grim Horde and our Dark Lord, may he always reign!” I gave them a traditional Horde military salute, which was to put the right hand over the heart and the left above the eye. It was designed so that you’d be more obvious if you were casting a spell, which is always a valid concern when dealing with devils. It was also the most polite way I had to cut off the conversation early. Girdan returned the gesture, out of habit more than anything else, which signaled the end of our little chat.

“If you pull this off, they might just make you Grand Vizier,” said Girdan.

“Perish the thought.” There was too much bloody paperwork in the civil service. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do when I settled down, but I knew it wasn’t that. “I am but a humble servant of my General and Dark Lord, may the sun never set on his kingdom.”

I cast a glance over at Kiyo, who was mostly hidden by the table. I might have imagined her leg twitching, but then, I might not have. “My date may wake up any time now, and it would be… excessively inconvenient to explain her disappearance, now that I’m bound to the school for a few more weeks. We should adjourn.”

Fera’s eyebrow raised. I could tell she did not believe my motives, but she kept it to herself. “Dante, give Malthus a way to stay in touch with you. I imagine he will have a narrow window to escape when he and the Brotherhood enact their plan.”

“Yes, Mistress Fera.” The Australian was none too pleased. I wouldn’t have been in his shoes, either, but he knew his place.

“Farewell, Malthus,” said Girdan. “Skratzen, shut it off!”

Oh my, had Captain Skratzehn Skratzen was reduced to being a Girdan’s signaldevil? My fellow aide de camp had lost some standing, then. I could see Girdan was as fickle as ever.

The wireframe version of the two devils winked away.

Dante stood, rubbing his neck. “Why you little… sure, I’ll drop all my bloody plans and pay a small fortune to rent a hotel for another two weeks!”

“Just like a good godmother would, Granny Hattie. Now, you’ll actually say more than two words if I text you this time, right? Your mistress is going to be none too pleased if you don’t do your part.”

“Yes,” he grumbled.

“Yes, what?” I let a few demonic runes trace around my fingers as I visualized spells. Nothing distinct, mind you, but he wouldn’t know that.

It had the desired effect. “Yes, sir.”

“Good man.” I would have accepted master, too, but I supposed I ranked lower than Fera in his eyes. “Now, get over here.”

“What now?”

“I said do it!” He loomed over me a bit, but I was no stranger to ordering orcs, and he made them look puny. “Minor Heal.” The human runes traced around my fingers, removing the blemish left by my Spectral Web.

He eyed me warily. “What was that for?”

“So we didn’t have to explain why you had that mark around your neck when Kiyo wakes up. Don’t make too much of it.”

“You sure you ain’t gone native, mate? That’s what Mistress Fera seems to think.”

“Keep up that talk and you’ll find out just how devilish I am. Now get back into character.” With a snap of the fingers, my silencing spell dissipated in a shower of sparks.

None too soon, as I heard a feminine moan from the far end of the table. “Magpie?” I could just barely make out her voice.

It wasn’t that I was truly worried for her, mind you. I trusted Dante not to use anything truly damaging. Maybe I was at her side a little more quickly than was strictly dignified, but Dante didn’t need to give me that knowing smirk.

“Just a good lay, eh?”

“Hush, you!” I sat Kiyo up as her eyes fluttered open.

“What happened,” she said, her voice slurred.

“You’re Japanese and a little slip of a thing,” said Dante as he sat back down. “Six glasses of champagne was a mistake.”

“Six? I only had… two? Three?” Kiyo shut her eyes and ground the heel of her palm against her head. “Maybe I did have six. Feels like twelve.”

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” I said, helping her to her feet. It was difficult to keep her upright due to our height difference. I had to stoop a bit to bear her weight. “Dante, thank you for an enlightening evening.”

“Yeah, that’s a word for it,” he said. “I’ll tell Grannie Hattie you’re in good health.”

“Yes, I’ll try to be in touch more often,” I replied.

“Thank you, thank you,” managed Kiyo. At least that’s what my ears heard.

Dante’s eyes narrowed. “What’re you sayin’ about my almonds, Sheila?”

Kiyo stiffened in my arms, her surprise sobering her up. “No no no! That was Japanese! Domo domo!”

He burst out laughing. “I’m just playing. Mate, your girl needs to grow a sense of humor.”

“I’ll keep that under advisement,” I said, as diplomatically as I could manage.

Kiyo fumed quietly all the way down the elevator. “That guy’s an asshole.”

I let my jaw drop. “Such language!”

“Don’t try me, my head feels like it’s giving birth,” she murmured.

“For what it’s worth, I tend to agree,” I said. “But, you can’t choose your family.”

She giggled at that before holding her head again. “Do you have any magic for a hangover?”

I almost corrected her that she couldn’t possibly be at that stage yet. Then I realized that if she wanted to chalk her headache up to something innocent, that was much more convenient. “It might be… cutiemuffin magic.”

“Then let’s wait until we’re at the hotel,” she said. “Where it’s private.”

“So, you still want to go, then? You sound miserable.”

“God yes,” she said. “I’ll power through. Who knows the next time we’ll be alone like this?”

The enormity of what I had promised up in the restaurant hit me. I had realized my time at the school was finite, but it had always seemed in the far-off future. Now, my faux-humanity had a fixed expiration date.

I forced my melancholy aside. Soren Marlowe and I had become rather close over the past six months. It was time to give him a last hurrah.

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