I Finally Read Artemis Fowl

These books hold such a special place for me. My dad read them to me as a child ( we didn't do normal bedtime stories, others included the Hobbit and some of Raymond E Feist the rift war saga) as soon as I heard there was a movie I did 2 things. I started re reading all of the books and I started to get anxious. This seams to have stripped everything out of what made Artemis Fowl a good series. It's one of only a few children's books that I ever read that didn't try to give you a flat character to project yourself onto, you got to see everyone as flawed, with their own skills. I always wanted to grow up to be like Juliet. I would really recommend reading/listening to at least the first 3 if not more as the film seems to be pulling from all over! I have so many more frustrations and honestly I'm debating not even watching it at this point. It feels like the seventh son all over again 😣

So...the movie is basically KIngsman for children?

Yeah when the cast was posted on IMDB I already knew they'd fucked up by having Dench be Root and Holly played by a child actor instead of a grown woman. I saw a comment that someone was trying to feel better about the changes by headcanoning that this movie was Artemis Fowl III and that's why the kid and Holly are immediately friends and the dad character seems to already know about faeries because the dad is book Artemis Fowl II. Obviously the whole film can't be shrugged off this way but trailer-wise it was a new lens of comfort.

Your Librarian

I read the first five books when I was a kid and really liked them (no idea why I never got to the last three). When I found out that there would be a film adaptation directed by Kenneth Branaugh, I was quite excited. Then I saw the trailer. I don't know if I'll ever see the film - frankly, I'm quite satisfied just seeing that they pictured most of the characters pretty much exactly like I remember doing. I generally don't care about most adaptational changes, but this is the entire premise of the film. They've apparently removed what made the story stand out. I'm not saying it'll necessarily be bad, just that my nostalgia for the books can't get me to want to see it. I'll wait for the reviews from non-fans before I make a decision.

Robin Isomaa

They Disney know how to tell the story.

Matthew Foweraker

I appreciate the use of Avatar clips

Brigid Ryan

Disney...just doesn't care at all anymore :-(

Leslie Helwig

I’m honestly stuck between wanting to see how they messed it up and refusing to watch it on principle. I’ll probably wait till I hear how it goes but as of now I don’t see this project going anywhere. It’ll just be another Percy Jackson.

I haven't read the books, but after watching that trailer and listening to what Dom said clearly the makers of this film didn't read the books ether.

Caleb Pickett

What? WHAT?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY ARTY YOU INSOLENT BAFOONS?! *heavy breathing* Why? I honestly feel like crying. If my tween self saw this... ;_;

Spelled entirely correct, just checked my copy of the fourth book. Also, that's a really cool last name :)

Therese Knøs

I admit I only read the first four, finding that it was a pretty good wrap-up. That said, I remember them surprisingly vividly, given it's been 17-18 years since I read the first. That...that there is not Artemis Fowl. I thought we were getting more faithful adaptations these days... Also, there's a part of me that feels distinctly cheated on Irish names pronounciation (which, to the best of my phonetic reading, you got entirely right). Eoin pronounced like Owen and Diarmuid pronounced like Dermot. It just...it feels like ruining cool names, you know?

Therese Knøs

Just when you think they can't screw things up that bad...

Therese Knøs

I recommend blitzing through the first three before doing the film as it'll probably have all the source material for the film They intend to butcher and you get an idea of who opal koboi (spelling? I'm an audiobook fellow) is. Also gives everyone a full arc. Colfer could have finished there and it would have been nearly complete.

Yeah, I saw the casting call for Artermis in 2018 that said he's "warm hearted" and that he has "great sense of humour", and "he has fun in any situation he's in and loves life" and knew they would completely disregard the book.

I still haven't seen the trailer because I generally avoid them on principle, but from what you've described… yeah, this movie could potentially make me angry. I can't overstate how much I love this book! There are eight in the series, but for me, it's a no-brainer: the first one is the best. I'd say it's my second-favourite book of all time, behind only "A Villain's Night Out" by Margaret Mahy.

Max Livingstone

I wasn't aware of this trailer. I saw the teaser a while back and thought, 'well it's not going to be book accurate but it won't be that bad. ' I have now seen the new trailer...... WHAT THE FUCK DISNEY!? I need a comically large cartoony stamp that says "IN NAME ONLY" to smash all over this thing! Look, I love this series, hell, when I was about 12 I made my own cypher for Gnommish out of what translations we had in the book and worked from there before translating myself all the text at the bottom of each page. I only later found out that full translations were available online. And this...This is not Artemis Fowl the Second. The only way, THE ONLY WAY I can see this working, is if they make all of Book Arty's adventures happen to main kid's dad, and the movie is a pseudo-sequel to the books, it won't be perfect, but it will be SOMETHING.

douledamn

I remember watching the trailer a while ago, and I was utterly disgusted to what they have done. They have taken an unique story with characters so interesting and made... this... It gives me Percy Jackson flashbacks (and while I'm happy that they make a tv serie about it, the fact that is Disney + who'll make the new Percy Jackson serie and also is the one who have made this movie even if I don't know if it's the same people directing it gives me little hope). I'll be waiting for your video, have no mercy for them Dominic.

Abelielle

You pronounced it right. My nephew had classmates named Eoin (“Eoin E”) and Owen (“Owen O”), and Australia-based comedian Jimeoin’s name (“Jim-Owen”) is short for James Eoin.

Chris Palmer

I fully expect this to receive the "In name only" label.

Ben L.

My younger brother got me to read the books. They became a bonding thing between us. I'm going to hate this movie aren't I? I watched the trailer when you suggested in the video. Now, maybe I'm just a bit extra sensitive right now, but I actually shed a tear by the end of it. I could only think, "What have they done?" Artemis was a little sh*t who was way too smart for his own good. Not the little angel faced "good boy" I saw on screen. I'm trying to withhold judgment until it's released, but I don't have high hopes. I'm having flashbacks to the Percy Jackson movies.

Kelsea

I would prefer to assign the blame for story changes, primarily, to the screenwriters: Conor McPherson and Hamish McColl. They probably did the majority of the damages, whereas Branagh's greatest influence was probably the casting, given the presence of a few actors he’s worked with in the past.

Sam M the Demifemme

Well.. that just ruined my day.

Gary Leigh

These books are some of my favorites...why would they do this?

SwamplingLvr

Since the last name is not difficult, and Wikipedia tells me "Eoin" is just the Irish spelling for "Owen", yes, you did get that one right, apparently. Congrats! ;)

Timur Hahn

I actually did go watch the trailer when you suggested to...oh...nooooo.

SwamplingLvr

As someone who got to meet Colfer several years ago and got the ENTIRE Artemis Fowl series signed... yeah, the Disney version annoys me.

I saw the descriptions of the characters on Tumblr long before it was even in production and I was already irate. Amongst other things - Holly Short is described as having nut brown skin and is probably closer in human age to 25 or 30 years old. So they should've cast a short ADULT to play her, not a white child.

These books sound amazing! How have I never heard of them?

This is definitely one of my favorite book series.

SwamplingLvr

I grew up with these books. Haaa the film is going to suck.

WillRigby

Just read the first book. When I finished I just knew Disney was in no way going to do this right.

AHHHHH!!!!! I love this book! It makes me so happy that you read it! And yeah, I was sooooooo angry and the trailer for the movie. It’s an insult to the original concept! They’re going exactly against the plot!