Turning Chapter 980

Chapter 980

"Being alive is a wonderful thing. I had been thinking all day yesterday that I wanted to sit side by side with you like this and watch you eat cake, and now I've achieved that dream."

For a moment, Yuder was at a loss for words, his chest tightening slightly, but he averted his gaze and answered as if it were nothing. "...You were thinking about that in the midst of everything?"

"What do you mean by 'that'? What hope could be more wonderful than this?" Kishiar retorted confidently.

Yuder wanted to say that watching him eat was hardly worth mentioning, but he swallowed those words. It was absurd, but at the same time, he felt he understood the sentiment behind Kishiar's thoughts.

He remembered how heavy everything felt when he only thought about fending off the impending disaster, but how light it became when he considered what he wanted to do after it was over. There was nothing grandiose about those desires.

It was Kishiar who had taught him that. He said that the desire to change the past and the desire to see an unknown future could both serve as nourishment for living in the present, but the latter would be more enjoyable. Even those light-hearted words were, in the end, a practice of that sentiment.

Who in the world would know that the simple wish to sit side by side and eat cake, which was nothing remarkable, was such a precious hope for the man who had parted the sea and led everyone while displaying an aura that would go down in history? Who other than Yuder Aile would know that Kishiar La Orr was that kind of person...

Yuder pressed his lips together tightly before continuing. "Still, you couldn't have been thinking about that even while underwater, right?"

"Why do you think not? The phrase 'all day yesterday' naturally includes that place too."

Yuder's eyes narrowed at the confident reply. "Commander, you really are..."

"Even though I may look a bit handsome and put-together on the outside, the truth is I'm a fool who can't even distinguish between public and private matters. It's hardly a new revelation."

"That's not what I was going to say."

At that, Kishiar's eyes widened before his eyelashes fluttered pitifully. "Oh? Are you saying I'm not handsome? You used to think my face was really handsome before."

"How did the conversation turn in that direction? Don't twist it in a strange way. What I denied was the latter part of your statement."

"So even if I look like a mess now, you still think I'm handsome?"

"..."

Now it seemed that this was what he really wanted to say. Yuder's gaze swept over Kishiar's face once more, taking in the countless scars left on his skin as if cut by thin blades.

Although far less severe than the eye injury he had to hide for a while after the day of hail, they were still wounds nonetheless. His face was mottled all over, far from his usual immaculate appearance.

'It can't be helped. Even with divine power, he can't heal himself, and Lusan is currently recovering from depleted divine power at a nearby temple...'

The divine power Lusan had poured into them with his last strength yesterday was almost entirely consumed in healing their internal injuries rather than external ones. It was a natural choice, as it was difficult to simultaneously heal both external and internal injuries for two people when it was challenging for even one. Kishiar had even requested that Lusan prioritize healing Yuder's arm injury first, postponing his own turn, claiming his external wounds weren't deep. He had handed over any remaining usable divine power to other priests for treating the more seriously injured.

Thus, what remained were the current scars. Knowing this better than anyone, how could he possibly think of them as a mess?

In fact, those wounds were minor enough to heal without scarring if treated properly with medicine, and they both knew Lusan would fix them in a day or two. It was a joke made with that understanding. However, there were times when, even knowing this, one couldn't help but wonder if there was genuine sentiment hidden beneath the surface.

Yuder stared directly into the red eyes gazing at him and defiantly removed his glove, reaching out his hand. As his fingertips touched the scarred cheek, Kishiar's eyelids twitched momentarily. Yuder took a moment to ensure his rough fingertips weren't causing Kishiar pain before applying more pressure, gently caressing his cheek as he spoke.

"I know what these scars were gained in exchange for. So rather than feeling the opposite, I would express my respect."

"..."

"And even if these scars had appeared for no reason... I wouldn't mind. Regardless of the fact that I always find you handsome, if I had only been captivated by that, we could never have had the relationship we do now."

It was true that Yuder was often distracted by Kishiar's beauty, but those words held not a single shred of falsehood. His face was merely one part of what constituted the existence known as Kishiar La Orr. A part was just a part; it could never be the whole.

Yuder had only been able to truly believe in and look straight at Kishiar when he saw within his beautiful, smiling face the things he had never known in his previous life.

Whether he had scars or not, whether one eye was visible or not, even if only his hands remained without a body, Kishiar was Kishiar.

Yuder's thumb traced the end of a long, thin scar. He moved his gaze along that path without blinking, as if trying to memorize every sensation that touched his fingertips.

"I thought you would tell me to take a good look while you have the handsome appearance of being scarred, as it won't last long for the Commander I know... But I didn't realize you lacked confidence like this."

The man, who had been listening to Yuder's words as if entranced, finally blinked as if awakening. "Is that... how it is?"

"Isn't it?"

After a moment, Kishiar lowered his head and burst into laughter. "...Yes. Everything you said is true."

His flushed cheeks, surprisingly vibrant, sparkled like light beneath his red eyes. "I was so blinded by mischief and greed that I momentarily made a statement lacking confidence. I will reflect deeply on it, so will you accept my apology?"

"Of course."

"How merciful of you."

Yuder Aile and mercy. If anyone had heard, they might have doubted if there could be a more mismatched combination of words. But even if someone knew, what did it matter? The opinions of others were unimportant. The only thing that mattered to Yuder was the smile of the person in front of him right now.

The man, who had been laughing for a long time, turned his head towards Yuder's hand on his cheek as if unable to contain his surging emotions and kissed it. A series of pecking kisses followed, falling on Yuder's fingertips, the back of his hand, and all the way to his wrist.

One might expect him to find the bare hand, still covered in a messy web of reddish tendons from exerting immense strength, repulsive, but he showed no sign of minding at all.

'The one who should be called a mess is actually me.'

In fact, Kishiar himself had never once shown any concern for Yuder's wounds or unsightly appearance. And yet he worried about how he himself would appear in Yuder's eyes. That aspect rarely made Yuder realize that even Kishiar La Orr was still a young man.

To be precise, a young man in love.

That young man kissed Yuder's wrist, closed his eyes, and whispered, "...I must confess anew that I, too, have always felt reverence before the scars left on this hand. So I hope you won't worry about entrusting your bare hands to me. Because there are no hands more beautiful to me than these."

He already knew that Yuder was being cautious every time he tried to touch with his rough and unsightly bare hands.

How could one possibly restrain the urge to pounce when faced with that expression?

Yuder pulled his hand away just before Kishiar's lips touched it again.

And he leaned in deeply to kiss the man who had raised his head.

"..."

In an instant, the countless emotions that had been suppressed over and over during the short yet long two days of going back and forth between life and death surged up, making his head feel hot.

At that moment, in a different sense than when he had looked out the window earlier, Yuder felt astonishingly certain that he had prevented the disaster and was definitely alive here.

'Ah...'

Swallowing the poignant thrill running down the back of his neck, he looked straight into the eyes located closest to him. He felt truly fortunate that those eyes were safe, staying by his side without falling asleep like before.

Yuder, without taking his gaze off the red eyes, pointedly set down the fork he had been holding. The sound of the bowl and metal colliding rang out roughly, but no one looked in that direction.

"...I think I'm done eating cake for now."

The declaration was short and clear.

"Yes."

The man, who would normally ask once more if it was alright or playfully add another word, did not do so this time. Instead, what approached were lips and hands. Yuder readily welcomed the yearning of the man who kissed him again while pulling him up by the waist.

They returned to the bed they had left not long ago, heedless of the sound it made as it struggled to bear the weight of two people. It was closer to collapsing in a tangle than lying down. The thin bed curtain for blocking out sunlight, caught on their haphazardly flailing feet, was dislodged from its original position and half-covered the outside, and the bedding was distorted in an unkempt manner.

Yuder lay diagonally in that space and embraced Kishiar. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders and his legs around his waist, leaving no gap as he absorbed the boiling heat with his entire body.