Turning Chapter 1078

Chapter 1078

Yuder didn't dream of that day anymore, even though he wanted to more than ever, while the memories had come to him in the form of dreams without knowing the reason when he didn't want them. Perhaps he did dream but couldn't remember, but what was the point if it didn't remain in his head?

It had already been a considerable amount of time since he had returned to the past. In the span of just over a year, many things had already changed, and everything from his previous life had become an illusion that only Yuder knew. Enon had said as if he wasn't disappointed that he was the only one who remembered, but Yuder was rather glad. Wasn't the result of his efforts not to repeat the past what it was now?

However, only one thing. As much as the existence of Kishiar La Orr,

Only his traces were an exception to that.

He wanted to regain the pieces that had disappeared. The more he got to know the man's appearance that Yuder didn't know, the more he became unburdened by painting over the past with the new memories he gave, the stronger that feeling became, as if in proportion.

It wasn't just because of the rational judgment of wanting the truth. As he had just said, it was the words of a relentless desire for one person.

The person who knew how to see the world with a warmth that Yuder didn't have, who tried to love and care for even the small things around him, who knew how to dream even while walking an endlessly painful path.

He wanted to grasp everything about that man in his hands.

Even if there was only pain between him and Yuder, he now wanted to swallow even that pain.

Yuder thought that he was actually a very greedy human being. It was just that what he wanted wasn't gold, treasures, or honor like other humans, but in fact, wasn't he wishing for something more precious than anyone else?

Perhaps from the time when he didn't know it was greed, until now, continuously.

After honestly spilling out all his inner thoughts, Yuder looked at the man in front of him and let out a deep breath.

"Is it not strange for me to think like this?"

Kishiar shook his head.

"I think we had a similar conversation before, but my answer is the same. Rather, it's the opposite."

He was smiling just like before, when Yuder had told him that he was sure his path was right.

"There's nothing happier than you telling me that you want me even after knowing the me who was so clumsy. The fact that I can still shine in your eyes. This is truly a strange thing and a miracle."

"..."

"Tell me more. Anything is really fine."

And,

"And you should know that I am the same, with my head being stained with greed every moment, wanting to have everything, even the things I don't know. If you are strange, then I, who am like this, am also strange."

Right?... In a voice that had completely lost its usual elegant tone, he whispered sweet words. The golden threads that stretched out instead of hands fluttered like dancing next to Yuder. Kishiar's scent, which had thickly filled the space at some point, was softly tickling Yuder's skin as if asking for any reaction.

When Yuder's scent, which had been crouching inside him, explosively escaped as if responding to that call, Kishiar smiled brightly. He got up from his seat. Yuder felt a sensation as if a huge beast was pouncing and pressing down on him, and he spread his arms with all his might to embrace the man. The red eyes that met very closely were indeed filled with a desire no less than Yuder's, just as he had said.

After a while, the guest sofa made a sound as if it would sink...

"...After breaking the sofa in the south, I thought I should refrain from doing it in places like this, but when it actually happens, I can't remember."

On the sofa in the office where the heat had passed. Yuder mumbled in a low voice while lying on Kishiar's chest. The man, who had been constantly and gently fiddling with Yuder's hair, blinked.

"Oh my. I can't believe you had such a thought. Then should I try to hold back a little from now on?"

"No. That's my problem, so you're an exception."

What do you mean by holding back a little? Wasn't Kishiar a person who could endure too well, so it wasn't a problem? He had no intention of reversing the wall he had worked so hard to break down to this point.

When Yuder answered curtly, Kishiar's shoulders shook as if trying to hold back laughter.

"Is what you said about not holding back still valid here?"

"Yes."

"But I think it's right for both people to make an effort to hold back together."

"I told you not to do that."

"Hmm... If you say so."

Uselessly trying to hold back laughter, the man's body trembled finely. Thanks to that, the vibration was fully transmitted to Yuder's body, which was lying on top of him. Yuder let out a short sigh. He was so drained of energy that it was hard to believe they had only done it once, so he didn't feel like saying anything more. Kishiar kissed the tip of his nose like a bird. His scent also caressed Yuder as actively as its owner. Even though it had been emitting so intensely until just now, it was still taut. No, it seemed to have become even stronger.

'I don't think it's just a feeling. Hasn't the scent been getting a little stronger since coming to Peletta?'

He had this thought on the first day he came to Peletta, but it was more so just now. Even now, Yuder's scent was almost settled, but Kishiar's was still not much different from when it was at its peak. It was a tremendous level even considering the agitated emotions and the overflowing stamina of a swordmaster.

'The most likely possibility is that this was the level of scent he originally had, but he had been instinctively holding it back...'

What was the scent of the man in his previous life like in his memory? He only vaguely remembered that everything was so intensely painful and overwhelming that he couldn't pay attention to what the scent was like in that situation. Yuder quickly abandoned his attempt to recall and compare.

Scent was something that couldn't be seen even with the Eye of Magic, and it was quite subtle to judge by relying only on senses. Yuder decided to find out for himself next time how far the limit would be if it became even stronger.

'I can't believe I'm having these thoughts here.'

Even he found it absurd, and a faint smile suddenly appeared.

Yuder stared at the clothes tangled on the back of the sofa and the moonlight draped over them in the languid sensation. The man, who had been constantly burying his face in Yuder's skin, whispered softly.

"Are you still thinking about the dream?"

"...Yes. Well, there's that too."

When he answered like that, thinking it was strange to say that he was thinking about Kishiar's scent, Kishiar nodded.

"You said you hadn't dreamed of memories beyond what you had told me before."

"Yes."

"Then it's definitely not there since you met the 'white gloves'."

The languid sensation suddenly became a little clearer, and he came to his senses. It seemed that it was Kishiar who was really thinking about the 'dream'. Yuder carefully searched his memory. It was as Kishiar said. He hadn't dreamed of the last day of his previous life since meeting the hand wearing white gloves in his dream. Of course, it wasn't a very long period of time, and there were cases where he regained memories of his previous life without dreaming, such as when he saw the sea of Peletta, but...

"Do you think there could be a connection between the two?"

"I was just thinking about the possibility. I thought it might be helpful to look back on what situation you had that dream in, or when you didn't have it."

"I didn't think I had that dream according to any particular rule... but it might be better than not trying."

"Yes. Anything is better than not trying. Shall we look back together?"

The man asked Yuder, who was lost in thought.

"When did you say you first had that dream?"

"...It was the day after I returned from the Red Stone retrieval mission. I had that dream of 'that day' for the first time when I fell asleep after unpacking my luggage in the dormitory of the Cavalry."

It was a day of many mixed feelings. The day he realized that he had personally participated in and finished the Red Stone retrieval mission, which he couldn't even participate in his previous life.

He saw Kishiar sitting at the desk in front of him in his dream.

He clearly recognized that it was a dream and vividly remembered the moment he was surprised by the words Kishiar uttered that he had no memory of.

It was Yuder's first dream, very short and intense.

While Yuder was recalling that, Kishiar, who had been lost in thought, opened his mouth in a low voice.

"So... it was after you were first injured by the Red Stone on your hand, and in a situation where you felt a change in emotions due to the different situation from your previous life."

"Yes, well... I guess you could say that."