Turning Chapter 1132

Chapter 1132

"The scripture says it's the natural order for someone who dies to be embraced by the Sun God and burn away. But inside this one, there's still a part of the doll that remains outside included. Then, can the part that is both a part of the dead and a part of the living burn in the Sun God's fire or not?"

Kishiar picked up the doll that had been buried in the sheet. The doll hung limply and swayed. Yuder saw some black pieces mixed in like stains inside the doll.

If there existed soul fragments that had been mixed with the dead Kishiar but were once part of Yuder, would they be the soul of the living or the dead?

"We can't know the answer clearly, but I think a part that was mixed in this doll might have remained without disappearing. Then what should we call it? It was part of the black doll but ended up becoming a piece that makes up the red doll, so it would also be the red doll, and depending on the perspective, it could be both. In other words, it has a connection to either side."

"..."

"A connection... Doesn't it remind you of the 'connection' that remained even after one life ended and came back again? Perhaps it was because that piece existed that the connection between us could remain as well."

Yuder recalled the moments he had met the hand wearing the white glove, and the incomprehensible answers he had written.

'Even though this is all that remains

It’s amazing that you treat me as myself

Though it would be better if you didn’t'

'Your guess wasn’t wrong

Almost

That’s my guess, after all.'

'Your coming here

Happens when the gap widens.

Between there and here.

Then you are naturally drawn

By the remnants of power

That hasn’t completely burnt out at the end of causality…'

"..."

He had thought the words "this is all that remains" referred to just the hand that remained of himself. But was there actually a deeper meaning beyond that? Was that why he said it would be better not to treat him as Kishiar?

'The words about not burning out completely even at the end of causality too.'

If he thought of it as based on the 'death' mentioned in the scripture's content as Kishiar said, it seemed to fit in many ways better than simply thinking it was a metaphor for fire.

'He had already mentioned the word connection then too...'

At the time, he had been so preoccupied with the underwater crack incident that occurred after what happened that day. He had told Kishiar about the conversation they had then afterward, but that was all. Until now, he hadn't delved as deeply into the meaning of that day's conversation as he did now.

Yuder sighed and frowned.

"Honestly... even as I listen, nothing feels real. Maybe because I've only seen the connection as a form of thread tying us together until now, encountering it as wooden dolls feels a bit unfamiliar."

Of course, at the time of the initial connection, he did remember feeling like it would be such pain if his body was torn and then stitched back together like rags. However, seeing what he had vaguely felt was like stitched rags as wooden dolls that had broken, mixed, and combined made him feel very strange.

Kishiar answered as he put down the doll he was holding.

"It's become somewhat simplified for the sake of explanation convenience and thinking according to the results. In fact, I even wonder if two humans who were 'mixed and connected' would have been exactly the same people as before in essence."

"What do you mean by that?"

"With dolls made of wood, even if you break them into pieces and mix them, the boundaries of their original colors are clearly visible, but what if you think about mixing paints of different colors, no. Mixing inks used to write documents?"

Having lived a life far from things like paintings, the word paint didn't resonate well. Thanks to Kishiar quickly noticing this fact and changing it to ink, Yuder could understand what he was trying to say.

"When liquids mix, they change into a third different color. Once that happens, it becomes difficult to return them to their original colors. It seems the me from the previous game approached with the thought of endlessly pushing away the threads entangled between us to make them break, but that might have happened in water that had already mixed and changed color."

Yuder understood that metaphor in his own way and asked again.

"...So, you're saying that even if the connection was cut, it might have been after the essence itself had already changed. Do you see that as also possibly being the reason why the 'connection' and the hand wearing the white glove didn't completely disappear and remained?"

"That's also part of the hypothesis. But this is a thought we could have because we've had time to deeply examine and exchange opinions about the connection. He at the moment of trying to cut the connection... probably didn't think this far."

A subtle bitter smile appeared on Kishiar's lips.

"It's difficult to understand... but based on that hypothesis, there are certainly parts that seem to make sense when I think about it."

"Yes. Something that has the same self as me but possesses your essence and has existed from the previous game until now. Seeing how he seemed to know you so well even beyond that crack, he might have been watching you continuously somehow in the previous game too. Considering that I've been having dreams I can't remember all this time, who knows if all those dreams were actually caused by that being?"

"..."

"I called your previous name that I hadn't been taught in a dream, and saw the execution that happened at a time when the me from the previous life no longer existed, without sharing your dream. Ominous traces had already existed from before. We just lacked too many clues to guess the answer."

His head throbbed. Yuder fell silent for a long time, lost in thought.

'Let's assume all those words are correct. Then does it mean that the hand wearing the white glove can affect the connection to both of us while being beyond that crack, so in a way, three beings are connected in a triangle?'

It was hard to say it was nonsense, as the memory of deliberately trying to see the day of the assassination in a dream not long ago was still vivid.

At that time, Yuder realized that he could also enter Kishiar's dream, and Kishiar met the hand wearing the white glove at the end of that dream. It wasn't strange to express that they were connected to each other since the three beings had already met in one space.

'Then perhaps the recovery of soul and memories every time I formed deep exchanges and connections with Kishiar was actually... receiving them back from the white glove through the activated connection.'

The deeper their union and connection became, the more Yuder's soul regained what it had lost, and Kishiar was able to remember dreams he had forgotten. Considering that the dreams he had forgotten were actually all memories related to the previous life, at the center of all those connections, nothing came to mind except the white glove.

'Still, I'm not sure why the holes in my soul became so apparent after coming back in time...'

Yuder stared blankly at his hand that had slipped out of the sheet. Looking at that hand, which was similar to Yudrain Aile's hand but now different in many ways, a thought suddenly crossed his mind.

'Could it be... because the body is different?'

The body from the previous life that had experienced being mixed with Kishiar once, and the body from this life that had experienced nothing. They're the same person, but in Kishiar's words, the essential color has already changed. How well would Yudrain Aile's soul, which had experienced alteration, fit into a young and clean body?

'Normally, if you try to forcibly fit and combine things that don't match, there would naturally be binding problems.'

The soul and body binding problem that Enon was surprised to see immediately might have occurred for that reason.

'Thinking that way, it also explains why the stability of soul and body increased as the connection with Kishiar strengthened.'

Strengthening the connection means that Yuder's body also gradually began to mix and change like in the previous life.

Yuder slowly clenched that hand tightly. After going through this whole process, the only thought left to him was one.

'If the essence of the hand wearing the white glove was the soul that should have been in the place of my damaged and disappeared part, what happens to him when I recover all the damage?'

Will he disappear without even a chance to meet again? This time truly turning everything including self and memories to ashes?

Was that why that hand had only been pushing Yuder away without saying anything until now, because he already knew and wished for it? Just throwing the most necessary help indifferently.

"..."

His heart ached with a groan. Objectively thinking, it seemed clearly a good thing, but his heart didn't seem to accept that fact well.

'I...'

When he declared he would go to save him, he didn't think of this kind of ending. At least that was certain.

"Huu..."

Kishiar exhaled a tired breath as if fatigued. Only then did Yuder come to his senses and placed his hand on his forehead.

'It's hot.'

Was it because he had used his ability after a serious conversation? His body temperature was much higher than before.

"Your hand is cold... It must be because I talked too much about unnecessary things."

"It wasn't unnecessary. And it's not that my hand is cold, but that you have a fever. Are you alright?"

"...Ah."

The man who seemed to have just realized made a sound and blinked blankly.

"I do want to close my eyes a little."

"Sleep. You'll feel much better when you wake up."

Kishiar didn't answer. Yuder held the hand of the man who had become less talkative again like when he was in the midst of heat and told him clearly once more.

"It's alright. You won't have bad dreams like before. If you trust me, sleep."

Only then did Kishiar nod slowly like a good child. Looking at the hand held by Yuder, he faintly raised the corners of his lips.

"...Thank you."

And sorry.

The red eyes closed, unable to resist sleep. Yuder sat there for a long time, recalling the faint voice he had just heard that seemed about to go out.