PASSION Chapter 3 Part 11

Chapter 3 Part 11

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It was a Friday night of mixed joy and sorrow.

Friday evening, after regular hours ended, they drew lots as planned. To determine who would stay at the Asian branch here and who would go to other branches. As already known, those coming to the Asian branch for this joint training were people from the European branch, while those going from here would go to the South American branch.

Though Tae-ui had thought he didn't care either way, seeing how his colleagues trembled in disgust at the European branch made him somewhat want to stay and see those faces. But for his own peace of mind, it would probably be better to join the team heading to the relatively better South American branch.

Moreover, that footage that appeared vividly when he closed his eyes - or even with them open.

In it, that neat and tidy man still reached out with black-gloved hands to grab his opponent's neck, pierced that neck, and left dark red traces.

If he were to meet that man.

After briefly imagining that, Tae-ui shuddered and hunched his shoulders from the chill.

I need to look after my own life well.

Thinking that, the number on the ball Tae-ui randomly drew from the box was 62. After the remaining members all drew balls numbered from 1 to 96, the instructor came out and drew a ball from another small box. That ball had 2 written on it. Even numbers.

While Tae-ui spun the number 62 ball in his hand with a bitter expression, those who would stay and those who would leave were thus decided. Even numbers would remain at the branch, while those who drew odd numbers would leave for the airport early Saturday morning, the next day.

After the drawing finished and they dispersed, a stirring atmosphere circulated among the members.

Tae-ui clicked his tongue while leaving the main lecture hall with colleagues wearing subtle expressions. Though nothing could be done now that it turned out this way, he had wanted to go to South America for safety's sake.

Probably thinking the same thing weren't just Tae-ui but most others - even among those who had denounced the European branch, those who ended up staying here didn't look very happy. Though those going to South America weren't exactly happy either.

Either way, hellish suffering would continue for two weeks starting in three days.

Walking slowly behind his murmuring colleagues, Tae-ui didn't want to go downstairs with them in this subtle atmosphere, so he changed direction at the stairs.

Even if he went to his room and closed the door, he would still hear his colleagues chattering as they passed in the corridor outside. Right now he wanted to be somewhere quiet.

For that, his uncle's room was best. That floor was almost completely empty of people, and his uncle had been so busy lately he hadn't been seen.

Thinking "This one thing I'm grateful for, Uncle" while fingering the key in his pocket, when Tae-ui reached his uncle's room, the owner was again absent today.

After collapsing onto the bed without even taking off his outer clothes and burying his face in the blanket for a while, Tae-ui eventually raised his heavy body. Lying face down made him feel like he would fall asleep. He must be tired after being squeezed by intense training and education during regular hours and even harassed by colleagues during free time these past few days.

"What are they thinking, wearing people out like this in the preliminary stage before real training even starts... I'll die from lack of stamina first."

Tae-ui muttered like a sigh while pulling a book from the shelf. He came every day to read dozens of pages before leaving. Though it was a book he could finish quickly if he wanted, his body felt like a wet cotton ball making even that difficult.

Tae-ui went back to the bed with the book and lay down, glancing at the telephone. The silently quiet telephone showed no signs of ringing.

Though it was more comfortable when phones didn't ring while alone in someone else's room, the very occasional calls from those white hands were quite enjoyable. Though not only enjoyable.

Tae-ui turned to the page he had stopped reading. Throughout the book, letters his uncle had noted in the margins were visible. It was his uncle's reading habit to write in the margins when thoughts occurred while reading. Looking at the letters his uncle had written, he could trace what thoughts his uncle had while reading this book, which was another pleasure.

Until coming here, meetings with his uncle had actually been quite rare. Whether Tae-ui, his brother, or his uncle, perhaps due to their personalities, though they only met once or twice a year if that, they weren't awkward or distant. Even if they didn't meet for several years, they would treat each other as if they had met just yesterday.

However, when his uncle occasionally visited their home, he mostly spent time with Tae-ui's father, and after his father passed away he would talk with Jae-ui, so Tae-ui hadn't really talked much with his uncle.

Thinking about it, his uncle was quite an outstanding figure in their family in his own way. It couldn't have been easy for someone born and raised in an ordinary family to establish himself as an instructor at UNHRDO.

'What I ultimately thirst for is no different from what people hundreds of years ago, and hundreds of years hence, will thirst for. But will that be what keeps humans remaining human?'

Tae-ui traced with his fingertip the sentence added in his uncle's handwriting at the bottom of the book page.

When Tae-ui first opened this book, a faint dusty smell had risen. His uncle must have read this book quite long ago and then closed it. So this passage was a fragment of thought from his uncle when younger, or perhaps more youthful, from many years ago.

There was a certain flavor to tracing someone else's buried thoughts.

What I ultimately thirst for. Tae-ui felt like he both understood and didn't understand that. He had no memory of ever thirsting for anything. Always just as things were, as they flowed.

'The point that Jung Jae-ui probably suffers more anxiety and anguish than you. That's what makes him human.'

Suddenly Ilay's words crossed his mind.

Perhaps his brother had thirsted for something. How could he know if his brother, who seemed to get whatever he wanted without obstacles, had such things in areas Tae-ui couldn't imagine?

"But if so, that word 'human' is quite negative."

Tae-ui smiled bitterly.

While tracing the book pages one by one like that, he must have dozed off.

His mind became a black void, and various random thoughts beyond his control crossed numerously through his head, and eventually they mixed and separated and mixed again.

There was someone who woke him from that unconscious chaos.

Having fallen asleep with his face covered by the open book as the light bothered him, Tae-ui woke to hands removing that book. His uncle's face was there looking down at him intently.

"I can't sleep even with glasses on, but you can sleep with something this heavy on your face?"

His uncle said while shaking the book as if amazed. Tae-ui sat up groggily on the bed and scratched his head while frowning with a face drunk with sleep.

"No wonder my dreams were so unsettling... must have been because that was on my face..."

"Dreams? How long were you asleep to have dreams in that time."

His uncle laughed at Tae-ui while taking off his outer clothes and undoing his shirt cuffs. Tae-ui looked at the clock with a face still not fully awake. It was a bit early to call it late night.

"Must have slept about two hours. Dreams... what were they. Being dragged by Uncle to some island and trapped there living among violent men with blood flying..."

"Hmm... In my opinion that seems like no ordinary dream. Maybe you should buy a lottery ticket?"

"By no ordinary dream, do you mean a very ordinary dream?"

"That's right."

"...Uncle, did you perhaps change careers recently? Like lottery promotion and sales..."

"Oh ho. Did they make such things in Korea while I was away? That sounds fun."

While Tae-ui muttered that with gambling industries flourishing it might happen soon, he woke from his drowsiness. After getting up from the bed and drinking water from the refrigerator, he was completely awake.

He brushed back his messy hair and looked at his uncle who was taking off his shirt.

"You seem busy lately. Though I've been coming here to read books every day, it's been a while since I've seen you."

"It's always hectic right before joint training. Just the paperwork alone is a mountain, a mountain. Plus I have to make arrangements here and there in advance preparing for several deaths."

While muttering that he hoped he wouldn't be one of the beneficiaries of those arrangements, Tae-ui perched on the stool beside the bed and stared blankly at his uncle. Though his voice was hoarse, his uncle showed no outward signs of fatigue as he quickly undressed and headed to the bathroom. Given that Tae-ui had always returned to his quarters after midnight when reading books here these past few days, his uncle must have also been finishing work past midnight daily, showing his good stamina.

"Come to think of it, you ended up staying here."

"Ah, yes. Are you going to South America, Uncle? I heard one of the instructors would lead them."

"No, Golding is going instead of me this time. I'll go to another branch for the next joint training."

His uncle's voice came from the bathroom. After brief water sounds, the sound of lathering shampoo followed.