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CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt from patreon

CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

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CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt posts

Massive Old Bastards of Humboldt County

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Another too-long video filled with crass jokes, lewd and misanthropic commentary and tons of botanical insight. From 2,000 year old trees, to sea lions, to plants that parasitize fungi, this video is packed with the flora and fauna of Humboldt County. Has anybody ever sexually harassed a Roosevelt Elk before, or seen a sea lo...

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Botanical Oddities from Around the Globe

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Great Basin Floristics

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Astragalus serenoi, Hecastocleis shockleyi, Symphoricarpos longiflora (Loniceraceae), Castilleja chromosa, Enceliopsis nudicaulis, Penstemon floridus, Langloisia setosissima, Tetradymia glabrata

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Some recent raggedy-ass sketchbook pics

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Rare Buckwheat Slated for Extinction

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West Texas Dust-Storm, Discussions on Analog Pornography

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The East Oakland Flower Factory

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Look Into My Megastrobilus

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A great day spent out at the Burney Mountain Baker Cypress Grove, studying fire ecology of this rare tree and taking an up close look at how members of the redwood family get pollinated (hint : it's wind, of course), but goddamn the immature female cones of this species are tiny.

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Pine Savannas of THE DR

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Just finally put this one together today and forgot how many badass species of plants I encountered in it. Everything from tropical mistletoes to weird lycopods to cool members of the blueberry family. Hope you enjoy it.

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Discussing Evolution in the Cactus Dungeon

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The Tiniest Cacti in Texas

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Ammonites, Petrified Wood, and Rare Plants

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A beast of a video at 45 minutes long, so take a bong rip at the end of the day, sit back and enjoy the many species of cryptic cacti, desert mustards and endangered plants that we cover in this episode of CPBBD.

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Ariocarpus fissuratus

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Cactus Camouflage

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Beating you over the head with Cloud Forest Videos

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Your Feedback Important, Dick.

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I'm debating ever releasing this publicly because I had little insight on many of these plants and this video in particular seems somewhat dry, save for the legume at the end that looks like a vagina (see clickbait thumbnail for reference). In a hot humid tropical cloud forest I was lost (wait til you see the few minutes of t...

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Pine Forests of Hispaniola

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One of four videos on cloud forests, starring Rondoletia carnea, Agave intermixta, Salvia brachyloba, Salvia foveolata, Myrica picardae, Corallorhiza ekmanii, Rhytidophyllum bicolor, and more.

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Feedback important

Hey guys, I noticed somebody hit the thumbs down button on the most recent video... Which is odd because that video has only been released to Patreon subscribers. If anybody finds the content less-than-pleasing to watch for any reason, like : I don't explain things well enough, a disjointed rant goes on too long, some of the ...

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Cloud Forests of Hispaniola

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Lost Plants of Hispaniola

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This Anastraphia picardae featured on the thumbnail was thought to be a Haitian endemic up until eight years ago. Here's the first video footage of it probably ever. Enjoy, fuckers. Keeping them coming. Uploading with a cell connection during the great Texas blackout of 2021.

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Serpentine of Hispaniola

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Carribean Cactus Primer

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Consolea moniliformis

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Cactus Forests of the Carribean

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Baby I Wanna Be Your Karstic Dog

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Melocactus

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Grandiose Bastards of Santo Domingo

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Roots n' Meatheads

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Newest episode of the podcast covers such engaging topics as my Facebook ban due to the plant Gochnatia hypoleuca, orchid seed germination, mycorrhizal symbiosis of the Blueberry Family, Meatheads blowing 4 grand on lifting their trucks (typical male primate behavior), and roots and what the shit.

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Plant Systematics - A Conversation with Michael Simpson

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Been looking forward to doing this conversation for a while. Enjoy.

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Second Flower Morphology & Evolution Class

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Brutal in length but we go over all the elementary concepts here. Maybe watch at 2x speed

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