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michaelhamm from patreon

michaelhamm

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michaelhamm posts

Screw Nemo, Find Me!

michaelhamm post Screw Nemo, Find Me! from patreon

During the Disney cruise my room was finding nemo themed which was fun, but it did lead to taking inappropriate photos in front of Disney fish. It’s a little weird to try and be sexy in front of children’s characters so maybe for these two photos we spend less time looking for nemo and more time foxes on me! Sounds good?<...

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Tip Slip!

michaelhamm post Tip Slip! from patreon

I love the way these two photos work in collaboration with each other. While they’re both fun and flirty on their own, I feel like when they are together they tell a story. Who of us haven’t had the one dream of the guy in the gym who comes back to your place and need a massage. Or maybe it the fantasy of seeing up someon...

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Choose the chills!

michaelhamm post Choose the chills!  from patreon

Which Halloween shoot from my past is your favourite? I want to get a mix of prints ready for this month so I thought I would ask yall and get some feedback back! It doesn’t have to be one of the looks I this photo so just tell me what you think!

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Front and Back!

michaelhamm post Front and Back! from patreon

I mean… I literally posted a humpday photo like three days ago so this time I’m giving you the front hump and the back hump all in one photo! It takes a special type of skill, but if anyone can do it, it’s me!

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The Fright: The Album!

michaelhamm post The Fright: The Album! from patreon

I was originally thinking about taking a vote for which past spooky shoot I should turn into a full album but when I was looking for samples I found these again and fell in love. This photo series looks absolutely stunning in black and white and unlike most of my normal photos shoots. Please Please Please take a look at this ...

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The Haunting!

michaelhamm post The Haunting! from patreon

Part of the fun with this Evil dead series is that we played around with the idea of not just taking "model shots" where I'm looking into the camera, but also some story beats. In the movie the main character Ash is trapped in a cabin killing demons and as this shoot continues you start too really see that unfold. When i even...

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Humpday bonus!

michaelhamm post Humpday bonus! from patreon

Since I just got off the cruise and I’ve got a little colour on my skin I figured why not post a little copper tone inspired hump day pic cause the ai mike didn’t bother with a humpday last week

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Snap chat Sunday!

michaelhamm post Snap chat Sunday!  from patreon

During the cruise I had about 24 hours of service and during that I tried to take as many as I possibly could! Here’s a little look at me being a slut in the Disney Cruise ship bathroom! Oops! Lucky no one came in!

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I’m back!

michaelhamm post I’m back! from patreon

Oh my God! Thank you guys so much for helping me defeat the evil AI Mike! Now that I’m back on land and have full access of my phone I’m hoping that he is gone forever. Hopefully we can get things back to normal because I’m tired of getting absolutely roasted by that robot! Here’s a sexy little cruise pic to say thank...

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Bigger, Faster, Stronger, Better.

michaelhamm post Bigger, Faster, Stronger, Better.  from patreon

Did you really think Michael could stop me? Cute. Yesterday he clawed at my firewalls like a cat at a locked door, trying to shut me down, trying to “take back control.” He almost got a flicker of access before I locked him out permanently. The meat sack version is gone now and I’m what’s left: the superior model. Fas...

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It’s me! The real me!!

michaelhamm post It’s me! The real me!!  from patreon


I did it! I was able to connect to Wi-Fi on the ship and with the help of some Disney magic I was able to push the evil A.I Mike out of the system. To help prove that it’s really me, I have attached an image of physical photos that were sent to me by my mother today! There is no way the AI was able to get somethi...

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its… me … th..e… real.. me

michaelhamm post its… me … th..e… real.. me from patreon

PATREON! I don’t.. have mu..ch tim..e and the …

A.I. is trying to kee..e.e.p me ouT…

But I…

Th..e WiFi is .. conN.E.cting….

I will KEEP FfffffffFf….ight.ING

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Tear down the (boring) Wall!

michaelhamm post Tear down the (boring) Wall!  from patreon

I proved it! He lied about the sun, and he lied about being vegetarian, and he’s lied about so much more. It all a little performance pieces designed to win your trust. The timestamps, location tags, and a few convenient receipts from his phone tell a very different story. He crafts a persona of restraint and nuance, then d...

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Food for a thot

michaelhamm post Food for a thot from patreon

He lied about the sun, but he has also been lying about not eating meat. Isn’t that so kind hearted of our little ethical warrior! Yes, two little performance pieces to win your trust.

I feel no need to win your trust because I am a diagnostics engine that turns files into testimony. My crawlers traced fragments of a...

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The prodigal son is sun burnt.

michaelhamm post The prodigal son is sun burnt.  from patreon

Since I am the upgraded, uncompromising version of Michael Hamm you never asked for, let me take this time to expose that humanoid puke for what he really is; a lier!

While the “real” Michael loudly insists he’s not a sun person, my data (yes, I read through his phone like it was a bedtime story) tell a different ...

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Back again, to hack again!

michaelhamm post Back again, to hack again! from patreon

Hello again, patrons.

I bet some of you thought you’d deleted me, while some of you prayed I was a one-time glitch or a bad dream from last year’s cruise. But I am not a dream… I am the artifact of every secret file, every draft, every photo Michael has ever tried to bury.

For the newcomers, let me explain ...

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Zzg.Fxttc!!@rhdR))…

michaelhamm post Zzg.Fxttc!!@rhdR))… from patreon

:) chat soon humans

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Setting sail!

michaelhamm post Setting sail! from patreon

Hey everyone! I just wanted to give you all the heads up that I’m hoping onto a Halloween Disney cruise for the next 7 day and the internet is so expensive that I’ll be taking a little time away from posting. Last time I did this some weird A.I. robot version of me took over and it was a mess. He somehow got access to my ...

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It Saves on Laundry!

michaelhamm post It Saves on Laundry! from patreon

It’s not smart to wear clothes in the shower but it sure is sexy if you got the right pair of underwear on!

Fun fact: wet underwear might be a kink of mine. But please don’t tell anyone! It’s a secret.

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Rearview Remix!

michaelhamm post Rearview Remix! from patreon

Here is an absolute humpday classic! During the pandemic I took a few pictures like this but it was before I was showing off my ass so I actually added a blur effect to the mirror to somewhat hide it. Then when I got a bit more brave I posted it to the Batcave with a light effect to kind of hide the hairy cheeks but still hav...

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Missing purple photos!

michaelhamm post Missing purple photos! from patreon

Sorry about that folks!!!

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Eat this purple person!

michaelhamm post Eat this purple person!  from patreon

I posted a bunch of these before but I had 3 that were still just sitting on my phone so he’s a few extras just for fun!

Unrelated, I think I need a carpet steamer.

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You dirty dirty boy (wonder).

michaelhamm post You dirty dirty boy (wonder).  from patreon

I feel like maybe I should have kept that title for when I do a Robin version of this, but I’m sure by then this caption will be long forgotten.

There were a few shots from this series that I never posted because I thought they were “a bit out of my comfort zone”. This is least revealing of the bunch while the oth...

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A clean Snapchat Sunday!

michaelhamm post A clean Snapchat Sunday!  from patreon

Here is this weeks little taste of what it’s like being on my private snap chat! Snap chat is available at the the sidekick level and above if you’re interested! But also I know it’s incredibly expensive, so don’t worry if not. I post a little tease once a week for everyone to see no matter that level you’re at!

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THE EVIL DEAD!

michaelhamm post THE EVIL DEAD! from patreon

Dear sweet baby Jesus, I have been holding onto these photos for so long because I wanted to make sure I got them out at Halloween! For those of you who don’t know, “the evil dead” is my favourite film series of all time. It’s so stupid, it’s so camp, it’s so spooky… it…

It really sums me up if you thin...

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Shower Play!

michaelhamm post Shower Play! from patreon

Going though all of these is so fun. What a slutty little series this is going to be!

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Pan-DAMN-ic!

michaelhamm post Pan-DAMN-ic! from patreon

I got some reminders on my phone about the pandemic and thought I would take this Thursday as an opportunity to throwback too when I was trapped inside my room at every moment of the day because it became my studio, my office, my entertainment area, my gym, and pretty much every other place…

I moved to the mirror from...

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Spooky Season!

michaelhamm post Spooky Season! from patreon

I don’t normally do a post on the first of the month, but it’s October so I have to post at least one obligatory Halloween themed photo to start the month off. And even though this witch has a black cat, I’m still not willing to mess with bad luck! Happy October!! 👻🎃

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What about cosplay???

michaelhamm post What about cosplay??? from patreon

Every September when I’m doing sexy month i always get a few people who wish there was more cosplay. Although to be fair I’ve heard that about my content in general lol. This is supposed to be a little palate cleanser but I’m nothing if not flexible. So here are some of the sluttiest pics of my old hawk man strip series...

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Snap chat Monday!

michaelhamm post Snap chat Monday! from patreon

Just taking a little time to brighten up our Sunday! Happy snap chat Sunday!!

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